The Rainbow Blitz Disaster
by Professor Snaglefoompus
Summary: With tryouts for the Wonderbolts just a few days away, Twilight Sparkle decides to find the perfect coach to train Rainbow Dash. Unfortunately, the pony she finds is Rainbow Dash's male counterpart. Can they get Rainbow Blitz back home to Stallion World before anything too crazy happens?
1. The Summoning Spell

Twilight Sparkle was out for a walk with her friends Rainbow Dash and Applejack, when she came across the poster which would turn her and her friends' lives upside-down. Blissfully unaware of the far-reaching consequences that would result from her actions, Twilight pointed it out to her friends.

"Hey, look," she said. "It's the Wonderbolts."

"Where?" Rainbow Dash asked excitedly. "Is it—oh. A poster."

There was a picture of four Wonderbolts, along the bottom edge of the poster. The majority of the poster had no pictures on it. Instead, the poster was dominated by large, imposing text.

_Think what you have to become one of the Wonderbolts? We're having tryouts! Join us at the Cloudsdale Amphitheater!_

"An open audition!" Applejack said, reading the poster. "Dash, this sounds like it's right up yer alley!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know about that already," Rainbow Dash said, trying to sound cool and unconcerned. "They're holding auditions next month. I'm totally going to try out and win!"

"Um...it's not next month," Twilight said.

Rainbow Dash stopped cold. "Huh?" she asked.

"It's not in Septemare," Twilight said. "According to the date, it's this month."

"WHAAAAAT?" Rainbow Dash shouted. She practically ran over Twilight in her hurry to double-check the poster. "But it's not—no! That's _this week!_"

"Three days from now, to be exact," Twilight Sparkle said.

"What _idiot _made this poster?!" Rainbow Dash said, stomping the ground. "I thought it was _next _month! That 8 looks just like a 9! Arrrgh! I almost _missed it!_"

"Good thing I caught that mistake," Twilight Sparkle said happily.

"GOOD?" Rainbow Dash asked. By now, she was starting to panic. "Tryouts for the Wonderbolts are in THREE DAYS, and you think that's _GOOD?_ I haven't even started practicing yet!"

"No worries," Applejack said. "I'm sure you'll do fine. Yer the best flier I know!"

"Yeah, but I'm not in peak condition!" Rainbow Dash said. "I have to be at my best, if I want to join the _Wonderbolts! _I need _weeks_ to build up to this, not _days!_"

Twilight Sparkle was struck by a sudden idea. "Hey! I can be your coach!" she said.

Rainbow Dash started laughing.

"No, I'm serious!" Twilight said. "I'm great at organizing things! I can make an exercise schedule for you!"

"Yeah, no offense, but I need the help of a _flying_ pony," Rainbow Dash said. "This is only _the most important thing in my whole entire life!_" She shot a nasty look at the date on the poster, which stubbornly remained three days away.

"Yer exaggerating," Applejack said. "Ah—"

"Sorry, I gotta run!" Rainbow Dash said. "I mean, _fly! _And maybe find out who messed up the date on the stupid poster so I can knock him upside the head!"

Rainbow Dash flew away at a high speed, cursing to herself. This left Twilight and Applejack alone, near the poster.

"Well, there she goes," Twilight said.

"Guess it's just you an' me now," Applejack said. She shook her head. "It's just like Dash to mix up an important date, too. She needs a calendar."

"What she _really_ needs is a coach or something like that," Twilight said. "I know Dash is good, but she needs somepony to train her. Or at least, somepony to stop her from sleeping all day."

Applejack let out a polite chuckle and said, "Yeah, but she's too proud t'accept help from one of us."

"I know!" Twilight said. "What if a really good coach just _happened_ to appear?"

"Like who?" Applejack asked.

"I don't know," Twilight said. "But I can use a summoning spell to bring—"

"Eh, Ah'm not so sure that's a good ideer," Applejack said. "Remember when ya tried to help me by summoning extra farmworkers during applebuck season? You ended up bringing the Flim Flam Brothers back ta town!"

"That was just an accident," Twilight said, waving her hoof in dismissal. "I'm sure I won't make the same mistake again. And besides, technically they _were_ unemployed apple workers, just like you wanted."

"They tried ta ruin mah farm!" Applejack said. "I'm warnin' ya, Twi. Don't mess with that summoning spell again. Somethin' bad could happen."

"Like what?" Twilight asked. "Summoning a coach for Rainbow Dash is hardly dangerous."

"I dunno, what if you bring back that mean griffon that Dash knows?" Applejack asked. "Nope, it's better to play it safe and not mess with magic at all."

Twilight frowned. This wasn't the first time Applejack recommended against using magic to help solve somepony's problems. But then again, Applejack was just an average Earth pony, not the Element of Magic. She couldn't be expected to understand complicated magical matters like this.

And besides, if Twilight messed up, it would make a great letter for Princess Celestia.

"Well, I'm going to help Rainbow Dash if I can," Twilight promised. "And if that involves getting a coach for her, it involves getting a coach for her."

Applejack shrugged. "Nothin' wrong with trying to help yer friends," she said.

* * *

_The Next Day..._

Twilight Sparkle was muttering to herself, as she wrote notes down on a piece of paper. "Somepony with coaching experience...probably a pegasus...maybe somepony who's familiar with Rainbow Dash's flying moves...good at acrobatics..."

She put down the pen, then picked up three books at once. Levitating them in front of her, she quickly looked through them for suggestions.

"Oh, yeah! _Definitely not somepony evil!_" Twilight said, remembering the most important part of the summoning spell. She double-checked her list of qualities, then smiled. "I think I've got it now!"

Summoning a pony is not an easy magical feat. In principle, it is similar to teleporting from one place to another, only with a lot more variables involved. Most unicorns could only summon a pony who was fairly close by, which hardly made it worth the effort. Only a powerful unicorn could use a spell to summon something from over a mile away.

Twilight's summoning spell was on a completely different level from your average summoner, though. It was really a dual spell. First, it would seek out a pony who fit all of the requirements, then it would transport the pony to the library.

Taking a deep breath, Twilight began the searching spell. She closed her eyes and felt her magic flow through the world. The best way to describe it to non-unicorns would be to say that she was using a quick-moving magnifying glass. It flew northward, and whenever it came within five feet of a pony, it moved towards that pony, seeing if it fit Twilight's requirements.

The spell quickly rejected everypony it came across. Within ten seconds, it had passed over seventeen ponies, and it left the town borders, heading for Canterlot.

Twilight took another breath. The farther the spell went, the less likely it would work. She reined in the spell, sending it back through Ponyville. The spell did another quick sweep of the town, this time moving southeast. No possible matches.

Twilight clenched her teeth, as she tried to expand the search while staying within Ponyville. The focus of the search split five ways, and Twilight's brain was overloaded with information. Imagine having five eyes, each of them looking at something completely different. They all moved at a slightly slower speed, and then they each split into five again.

Twilight's head started to strain, and she tried to block out all sense of sight. She focused merely on feel, the _feel_ of the magic as it went through the multiverse, seeking out the perfect pony.

_Wait, the multiverse?_ Twilight wondered. Just as she was about to question this development, she felt a tugging sensation on her horn.

_This is it!_ she thought. She focused her energy on the one search module that was creating a match. The other modules either fizzed out into nothing, or joined with the successful one, creating link upon link, until she had a successful chain to the pony she had found.

There was no time to waste. Twilight could tell this would be a long-distance spell, and every second was precious. She envisioned a net, appearing around the pony. The magic swallowed him up, and she pulled as hard as she could.

_Why...is this...so tough?_ Twilight wondered, as she struggled to bring the mystery pony to her. _It feels_ _like...I'm transporting somepony...across the country...not across town!_

Once she had brought the pony a quarter of the way towards her, things became simpler, and she breathed a sigh of relief. The chain of magic connecting Twilight and her target recoiled smoothly and easily, as the target flew through space and something else—Twilight wasn't sure what.

With a pop, the pony appeared, four feet away from Twilight. He wasn't your average pony, however. He was a somewhat large pegasus stallion named Rainbow Blitz. Without knowing it, Twilight had brought him all the way from another dimension.

* * *

Rainbow Blitz's nostrils flared, and his rainbow-colored mane flew out behind him as he reared up on his hind legs in surprise. One second, he was in his house, resting. The next, he felt like he was being dragged through a rocky mountain by his lightning-shaped tail, as his body moved through dimensions. Now that he could move again, he had no idea where he was.

"This isn't my house!" he said, looking around quickly. "Where am I? Where—oh."

Rainbow heaved a sigh of relief, as he recognized where he was. "It's just the library," he said. "How'd I end up here?"

"I summoned you," a voice said.

A lavender-colored pony with a stripe in her hair stepped forward. Rainbow Blitz instinctively stepped back.

This pony...she looked exactly like Rainbow Blitz's friend, Dusk Shine. It was the creepiest thing Rainbow Blitz had seen all day, and it took a second for his mind to come up with an explanation.

"You...you must be Dusk's sister," Rainbow said. "I met his older sister at the Royal Wedding, but I don't remember meeting _you_ there..."

Twilight's eyes widened as she got a good look at her visitor. He looked like one of Rainbow Dash's relatives: same cyan-colored skin, same rainbow-colored mane. Did she somehow summon Rainbow Dash's father?

"What?" Twilight asked. She had no idea what the stranger was talking about.

Rainbow Blitz shook his head, telling himself not to make a fool of himself in front of a pretty girl, even _if _the girl was eerily familiar. "Sorry about that," he said. "Just, uh, forget it. I'm Rainbow Blitz. You are?"

"I'm Twilight Sparkle," Twilight said. "I'm the student of Princess Celestia, and this is my library."

"I see," Rainbow Blitz said, looking around briefly. As far as he could tell, it was pretty much the same as the Ponyville library he was used to. Not that he spent _too_ much time in the library; he usually only went there to visit with Dusk Shine, or to read a book from the _Dashing Dude_ series.

Awkwardness continued to linger in the air for a while, then Rainbow Blitz spoke again. "You brought me here to your library," he said. "Why?"

Twilight stared at Rainbow Blitz for a few more seconds, before clearing her throat. "Uh...right..." she said. "I summoned you here, because I wanted an expert flyer."

"Aha!" Rainbow Blitz said, instantly becoming excited. "Now _that's_ what I'm talking about! Flying is my favorite thing ever!"

"Perfect!" Twilight said. "You see, I've got a friend named Rainbow Dash, who wants to try out for the Wonderbolts. She—"

"Don't you mean Wonder_colts_?" Rainbow Blitz asked. "They're having tryouts in, like, two days! It's gonna be _awesome!_ I'm totally going to make it this time!"

"You...you're trying out for the Wonderbolts, too?" Twilight asked.

"Yep!" Rainbow Blitz said. "I figure I'll impress them with my signature move: _the Sonic Rainboom!_"

"Oh no!" Twilight said. Instead of summoning someone to help Rainbow Dash, it appeared she had summoned Rainbow Dash's direct competition!

"Where Rainbow Blitz goes, the colors fly!" Rainbow Blitz said. He winked at Twilight. "You can let all your fillyfriends know that, too."

"Ugh," Twilight said. She didn't like flirty colts. "Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Rainbow Blitz, but I don't think this is going to work."

"What's not going to work?" Rainbow asked.

"I brought you here so you could help train my friend Rainbow Dash," Twilight said. "I think she could use the extra help, and—"

"Yeah, sorry, but I'm a little busy now," Rainbow Blitz said. "What with the tryouts and all that. I'd be happy to meet your friend after that, though. Is she cute?"

"I...wouldn't know," Twilight said. _Applejack was right. This is starting to look like a huge waste of time._

"Oh," Rainbow Blitz said. After a pause, he said, "So...you brought me all the way here, just to ask if I could help train your friend?"

"Um..." Twilight Sparkle said. When he put it that way, it sounded kind of...silly.

"Do you _often _summon complete strangers to your home?" Rainbow Blitz asked.

"I'm sorry," Twilight said. Her voice trailed off. "It's just...this is kind of important to her, and I wanted to help..."

Rainbow Blitz smiled. The filly in front of him looked kind of cute when she was embarrassed, and he decided he couldn't possibly get mad at her. "Hey, I understand completely," he said. "If I see her at the tryouts, I'll make sure to cheer for her. You said her name was Rainbow Something?"

"Rainbow Dash," Twilight Sparkle said.

"_Great_ first name," Rainbow Blitz said. "Well, nice to meet you, but I should be going back to what I was doing."

"Sorry for bothering you," Twilight said, still sounding kind of embarrassed. "I can teleport you back to your home, if you want."

"Eh, no worries," Rainbow Blitz said, waving a hoof in the air. "I can fly all the way back to Cloudsdale. It'll be good exercise for me."

"Okay," Twilight said, nodding. "Goodbye, Mr. Blitz."

"See you later, Twilit Sparkly," Rainbow Blitz said.

"That's Twilight Sparkle!" Twilight said, but she was too late. Rainbow Blitz had already flown out of the library.

_Well, __that__ was a failure..._ Twilight thought. _But at least he seemed like a nice pony, even if he __was__ a bit flirty._

* * *

It didn't take long before Rainbow Blitz realized something was wrong. He thought he had been summoned to some far-off town. But the town he was in...it was Ponyville.

And then again, it wasn't.

The buildings were the same, mostly. But all of the ponies were different. He didn't recognize _any _of them. It was as if everypony in town moved overnight, and new ponies came to take their places.

"Where are all my bronies at?" Rainbow Blitz wondered. All his male friends were nowhere in sight. They were replaced with...mares.

Mares walking on the streets. Mares at the cafes. Mares at the barbershop, which appeared to have been converted into a salon. Everywhere Rainbow Blitz looked, he saw nothing but mares and the mare version of everything.

_This stinks,_ Rainbow Blitz thought. Ponyville was known for being Stallion Central, the place where all the most eligible bachelors in all of Equestria stayed. Now that the town was overrun with mares, Rainbow Blitz's bachelor lifestyle would be over.

"Wait..." Rainbow Blitz realized. "The town is filled with mares...the _town_ is _filled_ with _MARES!_"

Rainbow jumped up and flipped over. He shook his fist triumphantly at the sky. "I'm living in Mare City! This is AWESOME!"


	2. A Rare Mare

Rainbow Blitz had to admit that his life was now 20% cooler. In his hometown, there were only about five mares. That didn't leave a lot of room for romance; your options were either "don't date at all" or "make friends with the girl who's strangely obsessed with jelly".

Now, Rainbow had a lot more options. He flew through town, about one foot off of the ground. Looking left and right, he saw mare after mare after mare, and his grin kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

_Man, it's too bad my friends aren't here!_ Rainbow thought. _Elusive would go crazy, seeing this many girls! He's the big romance expert, and—_

Rainbow Blitz suddenly stopped flying and landed on the ground. _...My friends..._ he thought.

Yes, the new Ponyville was a babe buffet. But if Rainbow Blitz's friends weren't around, he'd have a hard time enjoying it. He was fiercely loyal to his friends, and nothing would stop him from making sure that they—

"_Hello, _Handsome," a voice said. "I haven't seen _you_ here before..."

Rainbow Blitz looked up. A light blue pegasus mare was smiling at him.

"I...I'm new in town, I guess," Rainbow Blitz said, a little nervously. Then he shook his head, and regained his cool. "What's your name, gorgeous?"

The mare batted her eyes coyly, and the long eyelashes almost made Rainbow Blitz's heart jump. "Why don't you come have a drink with me, and I'll tell you?" she suggested.

Rainbow Blitz nodded, as he followed the mystery mare with a heart-shaped cutie mark. His friends could wait.

* * *

The next day, the fair Rarity made an unplanned trip to the spa. Her morning had been incredibly busy—no less than five ponies came in unexpectedly, asking for attractive clothing—and the white unicorn needed an afternoon of relaxation.

At first glance, the spa was as busy as the Carousel Boutique. More ponies were there than usual, prompting Rarity to wonder if there was some sort of special event going on. As she approached the front desk, she was surprised to see three of the usually busy spa ponies were not doing a lick of work. They were huddled together and talking. If a nature expert like Fluttershy had been there, she would have confirmed that they were producing more buzz than a hive of bees.

"I heard that he said—"

"That's nothing, I saw him with—"

"Of course, I can't _meet_ him because I'm _working_ today—"

"Hmmm?" Rarity asked, delicately heading over. "What's this, ladies? Is there a new pony in town?"

The three spa ponies turned to see Rarity, and they smiled. She was on a first-name basis with all three of them: Aloe, Lotus and Rosemary.

"Is there _ever_," Rosemary said. "A handsome pegasus stallion from Cloudsdale! _Everypony's_ talking about him."

"His name is Rainbow Blitz!" Aloe added. "And boy, does _that_ name fit! He's been blitzing through all the girls in town!"

"What? Really?" Rarity asked.

"Uh huh!" Rosemary nodded. "I heard he went on a date with Clarisse, then he turned right around and went out with Isimare!"

"I heard that he went out with Lyra and Bonbon _at the same time!_" Lotus said. She started giggling at the thought. "The spa has been packed all day!"

"A new stallion in town, huh," Rarity said. She ran a hoof along her curled mane. That would explain why all the mares in town suddenly developed an interest in making themselves beautiful. Rarity didn't like playcolts—she had a bad experience with one while she was at school—but curiosity forced her to find out more.

"What does he look like?" Rarity asked. "I take it he must be somewhat handsome."

"He's an _explosion_ of color!" Aloe said. "His mane has all the colors of the rainbow in it!"

"He's sky-blue, and he _must_ be some sort of athlete, because his body is in _terrific_ shape!" Rosemary said. "He likes to brag that he's the fastest flier in all of Equestria, and—"

"You know a lot about him," Lotus said suspiciously. "_How_ long did you talk with him?"

Rosemary giggled. "A lady doesn't kiss and tell," she said.

Aloe and Lotus nearly exploded with squeals, as they tried to get Rosemary to tell them more. Meanwhile, Rarity had stopped talking, because she was rather shocked. The description of this new stallion was...familiar, to say the least. A sky-blue pegasus with a rainbow mane—whose first name is "Rainbow"—who dreams of being the fastest flier in Equestria? That sounded just like...

"Dash..." Rarity muttered to herself.

"Excuse me?" Aloe asked. "I didn't hear you."

"Um, oh, never mind," Rarity said. "I just want to ask one question about this...Rainbow Blitz."

Rosemary nodded encouragingly.

"Is this..." Rarity gulped, knowing that what she was about to say could sound incredibly stupid, coming from her. "Would you say he is...awesome and cool?"

"Definitely!" Rosemary said. "He's 50% awesome, 50% cool, and 100% perfect!"

"I see..." Rarity said. "Well, in that case, I'm sorry to bother you ladies, but I simply _must_ be going! Ta ta!"

Rarity turned tail and ran out of the spa as fast as she could.

"But wait! Don't you want—" Aloe called after Rarity. "She's gone."

"I've never known _her_ to leave the spa without getting a treatment," Lotus said.

"She's probably trying to chase after Rainbow Blitz," Rosemary said. "Too bad he's going to be _my_ coltfriend!"

* * *

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity shouted. "Rainbow Dash! Where are you?"

_This is horrible! My dear friend Rainbow Dash's reputation will be ruined! _Rarity thought to herself. _Somepony is impersonating her for some reason!_

Rarity had no idea what was going on, but she was determined to get to the bottom of it. It couldn't be a coincidence that Ponyville's newest bachelor sounded like a Rainbow Dash clone.

"Rainbow! RAIIIINBOOOW!" Rarity continued to cry, as she trotted through the town. She couldn't see any sign of her friend anywhere.

Rarity's travels took her past an outdoor eatery, where the ever-charming Rainbow Blitz was on a date with his newest romantic conquest: a gray pegasus named Ditzy Doo.

"Huh?" Rainbow Blitz asked, as Rarity went by, shouting loudly.

"Someone's calling for you!" Ditzy Doo said.

"That's...weird..." Rainbow Blitz said, looking at Rarity. He didn't recognize her, but she looked similar to his friend Elusive.

"Who's she?" Ditzy Doo asked, sounding suspicious.

"I...I have no idea!" Rainbow Blitz said.

"You're seeing another mare behind my back!" Ditzy Doo said, hotly. She threw her drink into Rainbow Blitz's face. "Jerk!"

"What—blrrrbbbb!" Rainbow Blitz said. By the time he managed to clean off his face, Ditzy had flown away.

Rainbow Blitz considered chasing after her, but he couldn't see what direction she had flown off in. So instead, he decided to do the next best thing: confront the stranger who had just ruined a date with the perfect mare.

Rainbow Blitz quickly swooped around the block, so he could fly at Rarity head on. "Hey, you!" Rainbow Blitz said, stopping a foot in front of her. He wasted no time in getting right up in her face. "You just ruined my date! Who do you think you are?"

Rarity took a few steps backward, to increase the distance between herself and the angry stallion. "Rainbow Blitz, I presume," she said.

"That's me," Rainbow said. "Who're you?"

"My name is Rarity," Rarity said, puffing up her mane with her hoof. "I am Ponyville's leading expert on—"

"Ruining dates," Blitz said harshly. He poked Rarity with his hoof. "You know what happened just now? You come running down the street, screaming my name, and now my fillyfriend thinks I'm cheating on her, thanks to you. Why'd you have to do that, huh?"

"I...I wasn't calling for you," Rarity said. "I was calling for my friend, Rainbow Dash."

"Ah," Rainbow Blitz said. About half the ponies Rainbow Blitz met had mentioned Dash to him, and he was getting tired of hearing about her, to be honest. Rainbow Blitz knew for a fact that he was the only pony in existence who could perform a Sonic Rainboom, no matter what this Dash mare claimed.

"Let me guess," Rainbow Blitz said. "You think we could be twins."

"Well..." Rarity said. "You _do_ look oddly similar..."

"I don't want to talk about some mare I've never met," Rainbow Blitz said. "Let's talk about _you_, Marity."

"Rarity," Rarity said.

"Whatever," Rainbow Blitz said. "You seem like a nice enough girl. Let's go out."

"Go...out?" Rarity asked slowly.

"Yeah," Rainbow Blitz said casually. "You ruined my date with Ditzy Doo. It only seems fair that you give me a date, to make up for it."

"What?!" Rarity asked. "Date _you?_"

Rainbow Blitz winked at Rarity. "Don't pretend you're not interested," he said. "Come on, gorgeous. I'll take good care of you."

"You...you...never!" Rarity said. "You're a shamelessly flirty cad!"

"And you're clearly a high-maintenance mare," Rainbow Blitz said. "But you've got a cute mane. Come on, loosen up, babe. It'll be fun."

His words seemed to work magic on Rarity, who giggled slightly. "You like my mane?" she asked coyly. "Your mane is rather handsome, too."

Rainbow Blitz ran a hoof through his hair. "The colors are nice," he said. "But I like yours, too. I don't have dark purple in my mane."

"Wait until you see my _tail_," Rarity said suggestively, turning around. Rainbow Blitz got a brief glimpse of Rarity's flank, before Rarity did her best Applejack impression. Her hind legs shot up at top speed, hitting Blitz's face. With tears in his two black eyes, Rainbow Blitz flew away as fast as he could.

"Ha," Rarity said. "Who says a lady can't protect herself?"

* * *

Rainbow Blitz sulked for a few hours after that. His day had been going just fine, until Rarity attacked him.

_Stupid mare,_ Rainbow Blitz thought. _Why'd she have to buck me like an apple tree? Now I'm going to look ridiculous at the Wondercolts tryouts tomorrow!_

_...Wait. Tomorrow?_

"Oh, no!" Rainbow Blitz shouted. "Tryouts are tomorrow, and I haven't even _started_ practicing!"

If there had been a sturdy wall nearby, Rainbow Blitz would have smashed his head against it. _Stupid! Stupid! I can't believe I let myself get distracted by some stupid mares!_

_Man, maybe it's a good thing that one mare knocked me for a loop. At least she cleared my head._

Swearing off mares forever, or at least until the tryouts were over, Rainbow Blitz began stretching his various body parts. Deciding to start with a sprint, he took to the skies and—

_Ow._

His eyes immediately stung. Flying at high speeds can be painful on a pony's eyes, which is why the Wonderbolts usually wear goggles. Rainbow Blitz just learned the hard way that when you have a black eye, this pain is intensified.

_How do you get rid of black eyes?_ Rainbow Blitz wondered. _Do you use ice, or water, or special cream, or what?_

"Elusive," Rainbow Blitz said. His friend Elusive would know what to do. Elusive knew all about lotion and facial hygiene products and all the other things which Blitz considered to be a waste of time.

Rainbow Blitz went to the Carousel Boutique, as quickly as his aching eyes would let him. He knocked on the front door and shouted, "Elusive, are you there?"

"Just a minute!" a fancy sounding voice answered.

_That doesn't sound like Elusive,_ Rainbow Blitz thought. _Too high pitched._

The door opened, and a familiar white unicorn stood there, smiling at what she thought was a new customer. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is—oh," Rarity said, stopping in mid-greeting. "It's you."

"You!" Rainbow Blitz said. "Where's Elusive?"

"Who?" Rarity asked.

"The owner of this store!" Rainbow Blitz said.

"_I _am the owner of this fine establishment," Rarity said. "And I can assure you that we do not service ruffians like yourself!"

Rainbow Blitz scowled. Whoever this crazy mare was, she had just ruined his day. Twice. This was starting to _really_ bug him.

"Listen, you stuck up, snooty marshmallow, I don't have time to—" Rainbow Blitz said in an angry voice.

Rarity slammed the door in his face.

Blitz said a few unkind words and flew away. Two seconds later, his eyes began to hurt again. He sighed, then landed back in front of the Carousel Boutique. As much as he didn't want to, he didn't have a choice in the matter. It was either deal with Rarity, or miss tryouts for the Wondercolts.

_Guess I'll just have to suck it up,_ Rainbow Blitz thought. He knocked on the door, and Rarity opened it again.

"In case you couldn't tell, I'm not going to talk to you," Rarity said. "I simply loathe stallions such as yourself."

Rainbow Blitz sighed. "I'm sorry," he said.

Rarity's next insult died in her throat. "Excuse me?" she asked.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you," Rainbow Blitz said. "You're right. I've been acting like a little colt ever since I arrived in this town."

"Oh," Rarity said. "Well...I say, this is a pleasant surprise."

"Sometimes, I...I guess I get a little full of myself, and my behavior goes overboard," Rainbow Blitz said. He could still remember the time his friends dressed up like the superhero Captain Colt, in order to drive this lesson home to him. "I shouldn't have been so mean and pushy with you. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted, Mr. Blitz," Rarity said. "I'm glad to see you have some manners."

"Yeah, well, I learned from the best," Rainbow Blitz said, thinking of his stallion friend who owned the Carousel Boutique. Where _was _Elusive, anyway?

"So what brings you to the Carousel Boutique?" Rarity asked.

"Well..." Rainbow Blitz said. "I'm not sure how to say this, but...somepony bucked me in the face today, and now my eyes are all messed up."

Rarity looked a tad embarrassed. "Yes, well..."

"I can't fly with my eyes injured like this, and I have tryouts for the Wondercolts tomorrow," Rainbow Blitz said. "So can you _please_ help me?"

"Of...of course!" Rarity said. "Come in, come in!"

Rarity led Rainbow Blitz inside the Carousel Boutique.

"I apologize for my earlier rudeness, as well," Rarity said. "I don't normally fight with strangers, I can assure you. It's just that—well, never mind what it was. I have the perfect cream that will help you."

Rainbow Blitz looked around the store. It looked pretty much the same as the Carousel Boutique he was familiar with, although there were a lot more dresses than he remembered.

"I keep the creams and lotions things in the back," Rarity said. "Stay here while I go get them."

"Uh...sure," Rainbow Blitz said. Was there always this much pink in the store?

Rarity trotted through the back door, which led to the kitchen and other areas. As she went to the storeroom with lotions, conditioners and other such products, her eye chanced upon some photographs of her and her friends. She lingered for a moment, looking at a picture of Rainbow Dash.

"Hmmm..." she said. "This stallion looks so much like Dash. Could it be...?"


	3. The Plot to Kill Rainbow Blitz

Rainbow Blitz was beginning to think Rarity had abandoned him, when the back door opened again.

"I'm back!" Rarity said, carrying her beauty products with her magic. "And I've got a surprise for you!"

"A surprise?" Blitz asked.

"Here," Rarity said, floating it over to him. "Here's a picture of my friend Rainbow Dash. Earlier, you said you never met her."

"Woah," Rainbow Blitz said, looking at the picture. Rainbow Dash was...well, she looked like a female version of himself. Same crazy rainbow mane, exact same coat color and..._exact same cutie mark?_

_Impossible! No two ponies have the same cutie mark!_ Rainbow Blitz thought. _At least, not when the cutie mark represents the Sonic Rainboom!_

Rainbow opened his mouth to complain that this picture had to be a fake, when Rarity ordered, "Close your eyes. This is going to sting a bit."

As Rarity rubbed the cream into his eyes, Rainbow Blitz began to think. Rainbow Dash looked like a female version of him. And now that he thought about it, Rarity was sort of like a mare version of his friend Elusive. But...his friend couldn't have been turned into a mare. Right?

_This is just like what happened in Dashing Dude and the Amazon Adventure!_ Rainbow Blitz thought. _But that's just a story, right? It couldn't happen in real life!_

"Um...Rarity?" Rainbow Blitz asked. "This is going to sound like a weird question, but...did you get your cutie mark from finding a rock in the middle of nowhere?"

"Well...yes," Rarity said. "I guess you could put it that way. How did you—?"

"And then, when the world got corrupted by Eris, did you fall in love with that same rock?" Blitz asked.

"I told my friends not to tell anypony about Tom!" Rarity said angrily. Then she punched Blitz in the face.

"Woah, what the hay?!" Blitz said, opening his eyes. He was slightly surprised to see that Rarity wasn't punching him. She was merely hitting his eyes with a powder puff. "What are you doing?"

"Hold still," Rarity said. "I'm covering up the swelling so it looks natural."

"You got it in my eyes!" Rainbow Blitz complained.

"Well, you shouldn't have opened your eyes until I was finished," the fashionista said. She hit him with the powder puff a few more times. She leaned in towards Rainbow Blitz, inspecting his eyes from a distance of two inches. "Hmmm..." she said. "That'll have to do."

Rainbow Blitz had to admit, he was enjoying the close-up view of Rarity's eyes. The sparkling blue color...the shine of the iris...the long eyelashes, which looked cute even though one was tilting at an unnatural angle and...

"Hey, are those _fake_ eyelashes?" Rainbow Blitz asked.

Rarity gasped. "My good sir, how _dare_ you accuse a lady of such—?"

"Yeah, they're totally fake," Rainbow Blitz said. "The one on the left is falling off."

"Well!" Rarity said in an offended voice, while she discretely adjusted her eyelash. "I daresay, you are free to go, Mr. Blitz. Good luck with your tryouts tomorrow."

"How much do I owe you?" Rainbow Blitz asked.

"You can have it for free," Rarity said, her famous generosity getting the better of her. "After all, it _is_ sort of my fault your eyes were injured in the first place."

"Thank you," Rainbow Blitz said. "Sorry about all the weird questions. It's just...never mind. You probably wouldn't understand."

"Try me," Rarity said. "I'd like to know how complete strangers are privy to information about my personal life."

"Heh," Rainbow Blitz said, shrugging off the subtle jab like it was nothing. "If I knew, I'd tell you."

"Hmmm..." Rarity said, obviously not pleased with that answer.

He handed the photograph of Rainbow Dash back to Rarity. "Here's your photo," he said. "If you see your friend Rainbow Dash, tell her to come talk to me. I get the sense she might clear up a lot of our questions."

Rainbow Blitz saluted Rarity with the tip of a hoof, then he flew away.

* * *

Rarity wasn't the only unicorn to have a visitor that day. Twilight Sparkle also had somepony come to see her. It was no one other than her good friend, Applejack.

"Howdy, Twilight," Applejack said.

"Hello, Applejack," Twilight said. "What brings you to the library?"

Applejack adjusted her hat. "This might sound a mite strange, but...did you find a trainer for Rainbow Dash, like you said you would?"

"No," Twilight Sparkle said. "I couldn't get one on such short notice. Why?"

"Well, Ah haven't seen Dash for the past two days," Applejack said. "Ah thought maybe she's off training somewhere or somethin' like that."

"If she is, I don't know about it," Twilight said. "I haven't seen her since two days ago, either."

"She usually practices near th' farm," Applejack said. "Ah just think it's...well, it's odd. Ah asked Fluttershy, and she says she hasn't seen Dash, neither."

"She probably just doesn't want anypony to see her secret moves," Twilight Sparkle said. "I wouldn't worry about it."

"Hmmm..." Applejack said. She couldn't shake off the feeling that something weird was happening with her mysteriously missing flying friend.

"But speaking of Rainbow Dash, I was thinking that maybe we could all go cheer her on at the tryouts tomorrow," Twilight said. "You know, just like we did at the Young Fliers Competition. Are you interested?"

"Sure, Ah wouldn't mind takin' an hour off or so to go see that," Applejack said.

"Great!" Twilight said. "I'll go tell the others. Won't Rainbow Dash be surprised at the tryouts when she sees all of her friends there?"

* * *

As Rainbow Blitz flew around the sky, he tried to remember what happened in Dashing Dude and the Amazon Adventure. The general premise of the book was that Dashing Dude's professor friend wanted him to find a long-lost play named _Hipponytus_.

_"It was written by Euriponies, about 2,500 years ago," the Professor explained. "All copies of it were lost when the city of Roam was burnt to the ground."_

_"Finding a play?" Shorty asked. "Boring!"_

_Dashing Dude laughed at his little sidekick's remark. "Hipponytus, huh? Wasn't he a king of some sort?"_

_"He was a prince," the Professor said. "The Queen of the Amazons fell in love with him. But she was already married to somepony else, so Hipponytus refused to have anything to do with her."_

_"And as I recall, the one mare you don't want to upset is the Queen of the Amazons," Dashing Dude said._

_"Why not?" asked Shorty. _

_"The Amazons were a tribe of warrior mares," Dashing Dude said. "They hated all stallions, and they killed colts on sight."_

Dashing Dude's search led him to an unknown island, which was populated with real-life Amazon warriors. They instantly attacked him and beat him senseless, before throwing him in jail.

The strange part was that the Amazon warriors were the mare duplicates of Dashing Dude's friends. One looked just like the Professor, and another looked like Shorty. But the most frightening mare of all, the deadly Amazon Queen, was a dead ringer for Dashing Dude himself. She called herself Daring Do, and she sentenced Dashing to life of slavery.

"Yeah, this is _exactly_ like the book!" Rainbow Blitz said. "Everypony in town has been turned into a mare! And Rainbow Dash must be their evil queen!"

In the book, it took five chapters and two attempts at escape before Dashing Dude learned the truth. The entire situation was a revenge plot by Dashing Dude's crazy ex-marefriend, the Great and Terrible Trixine.

_"I turned all of your friends into mares!" the sadistic unicorn cried. "And then, I brainwashed them into becoming Amazon warriors!"_

_"But why?" Dashing Dude asked. "Why would you do such a thing?"_

_"Isn't it obvious?" she sneered. "So you could be killed...by your own friends! HA HA HA HA HA!"_

_"You...you mad mare!" Dashing Dude said._

_"You won't be able to escape this time, Dashing!" Trixine promised. "Now, my faithful warriors, ATTACK! Kill the stallion!"_

_Dashing gulped as the crowd of Amazon warriors charged at him, weapons shining in the hot sun. It looked like this was going to be his last adventure._

Fortunately for Dashing Dude, the Amazon Queen fell in love with him, just like in the play _Hipponytus_. In a bittersweet ending, she died in order to save him from certain death. Rainbow Blitz sort of skimmed through the mushy love stuff when he read the book.

"Yeah, what's happening to me now is just like that book," Rainbow Blitz decided. "But who could have turned everypony into a mare? I don't have a crazy unicorn ex. And besides, none of the mares have attacked me. Besides Rarity and Ditzi Doo and—uh oh."

Rainbow Blitz's brain put two and two together, and came up with five.

"They've been trying to seduce me, so they can kill me!" he cried. "_That's_ why all the mares in Ponyville have been friendly with me! I haven't attracted them with my awesome looks and killer personality! They've been sent on a mission to destroy the Blitz!"

It was the world's most diabolical revenge scheme, and Rainbow Blitz had nearly fallen for it. True, he had no idea who was behind the scheme, but he'd have to figure it out later. The first thing to do was undo the magic spell which had attacked his friends.

_I should ask Dusk Shine for help,_ Rainbow Blitz thought. _He's the expert on magic, and...wait. I bet that librarian mare is Dusk Shine. Which means she's going to try to kill me too! Great. Who can I get help from now? Prince Solaris?_

A trip to Canterlot was probably in order, but it would take too long, considering that Rainbow Blitz had to be in Cloudsdale the next day.

_New plan. Exercise today, become one of the WONDERCOLTS tomorrow, then figure out what's wrong with my friends when I get back. I can't let some magic disaster get in the way of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!_

_Besides, everypony seems to be enjoying life as a mare. Kinda weird, but if that's the sort of thing they like, I won't say anything._

* * *

Rainbow Blitz went through a tough workout that day. He had no idea what tests the Wondercolts would put him through, so he decided to work on everything. He focused mainly on his specialty: speed. Rainbow Blitz could fly at about five distinct speeds, and he kept switching between them. He also worked on cutting speed; a good flyer can slow down just as well as he can speed up.

He also worked on his agility, making sudden changes in direction without any warning. Left. Right. Left. Up. Down. Up and left. Right diagonal. Up and backwards. Left down, left up, left down. He even practiced flying upside-down and backwards at the same time, a feat which most pegasi rarely use.

It was a good workout. Rainbow Blitz didn't push himself too hard, because he didn't want to accidentally sprain a muscle. The closest he came to getting hurt was when he did a backwards loop-de-loop, and when this happened, he decided to stretch his muscles and call it a day. It was getting dark, anyway.

_Dinner time,_ Rainbow Blitz thought.

Rainbow Blitz went to Sugarcube Corner. This was a tradition for him, before big competitions. The Cakes had a special high-carbohydrate, high-protein, high-power meal, which was perfect for situations like this.

Rainbow Blitz went inside. The only pony in the store was one of the Cakes. For a second, Rainbow Blitz thought it was the blue-and-pink Mr. Cake, but she was clearly a mare.

"Um...hello, Mrs. Cake," Rainbow Blitz said.

"Hello!" Mrs. Cake said. "Nice to see you, Rainbow Da—you're not Rainbow Dash."

"No, I'm not," Rainbow Blitz said. "I'm Rainbow Blitz."

"Are you related to Rainbow Dash?" Mrs. Cake asked.

"I'm her twin brother," Rainbow Blitz said. It was _sort of_ true to say that. He could have been more technical with his language, but he didn't feel like explaining his theory of "Rainbow Dash is a magical duplicate of me, made by an evil unicorn".

"Nice to meet you!" Mrs. Cake said. "Welcome to Ponyville! What brings you here to Sugarcube Corner?"

"I want the athlete's meal," Rainbow Blitz said. "I've got a big competition tomorrow, and I need the energy."

"Right away, sir," Mrs. Cake said. She went into the back room, and if Rainbow strained his ears, he could hear her talking with her husband. Rainbow didn't feel like snooping, however. He took a corner booth where he would be rather isolated, put his hooves behind his head, then closed his eyes and rested.

_After dinner, it's bedtime,_ he thought. _Then I fly to Cloudsdale for my morning workout, and the tryouts start at ten. No problem._

Rainbow snoozed for a bit in the empty store, when the slamming of the front door woke him up.

"Hey!" a loud, high-pitched voice said. "I'm back from Colgate's wedding shower!"

"Hello, Pinkie!" Mrs. Cake called from the kitchen.

_Uh oh,_ Rainbow Blitz thought, sliding down in his seat so he'd be harder to see. _It's Bubble Berry_._ Or whatever they call him here. Bubble Marey?_

Rainbow caught a glimpse of a bouncing pink pony, as Pinkie Pie went across the room and through the doors that led to the kitchen and the upstairs bedrooms. Pinkie didn't look left or right as she crossed the room, and she was too busy humming a song to herself to notice Rainbow Blitz.

Rainbow Blitz breathed a sigh of relief. For a moment there, he was worried the mare would spot him.

_Good thing I managed to avoid her,_ Rainbow Blitz thought. _Dealing with the evil Bubble Berry is not on my to-do list._

_You know, she looked kind of nice. It's too bad she's evil and wants to kill me. Otherwise, it might be fun meeting her. I haven't met many mares who can really party..._

_Augh! No! No, bad thoughts! You can't have a crush on the mare version of your friend! That'd be weird! Not to mention super-awkward, when he turns back to normal again!_

If there was one thing Rainbow Blitz knew, it was that dealing with mares was a lot of fun, but it was also incredibly stressful. That was part of the reason why Rainbow lived in a mostly mare-free town.

Six minutes later, Mrs. Cake came back from the kitchen. "Your meal is ready!" she announced.

Rainbow smiled happily, until he noticed that Pinkie Pie had come with Mrs. Cake. Just when he thought he was in the clear! Pinkie was balancing the tray on her head, as she brought it over to Rainbow's table and slid it towards him. "Be careful, okay?" she asked. "It's hot!"

"Uh...thanks," Rainbow Blitz said.

_It's okay, Blitz,_ he thought. _Just calm down. She's probably not going to kill you in public...right?_

Pinkie gasped. "A stallion!" she said. "Will you marry me?"

Rainbow Blitz very nearly shouted something inappropriate, but he settled for smashing his head on the table in front of him.

"Pinkie...did you just propose to one of our customers?" Mrs. Cake asked.

"Uh huh!" Pinkie Pie said. "We were talking at the wedding shower, and they said that the next stallion I met would _totally_ be the one I'd fall in love with and marry!"

"Oh, Pinkie," Mrs. Cake said, shaking her head. "They meant something a little different by 'the next stallion you meet'."

"Really?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Sorry, then, Mr. Rainbow-Dash's-twin-brother-who-I-never-knew-existed-until-two-minutes-ago! We don't have to get married after all!"

"Thank Solaris," Rainbow Blitz said. He liked his pink friend, but marriage was taking it a bit too far.

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie said. "You probably heard about me from your sister! Rainbow Dash and I are, like, best friends, which means we'll totally be best friends too! Do you want me to throw you a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party? My parties are the best!"

"Pinkie, please let our customer eat in peace," Mrs. Cake suggested.

"But I'm just making new friends!" Pinkie said. "And you said that if the customers like me, they'll leave bigger tips! See? I'm a good businessmare! Everypony—"

Pinkie was interrupted by a scream that seemed to come from the ceiling. "AAAAAAAAAAA!"

"The babies!" Pinkie Pie gasped. "I've got to go check on them! Don't go anywhere—I'll be right back!"

Pinkie ran out of the room to go upstairs and check on the babies. Rainbow Blitz took the opportunity to get out of the booth.

"I think I'll take the meal to go," he said. "And quickly."


	4. The Wonderbolts Tryouts

Rainbow Blitz flew away from Sugarcube Corners at high speed, found a secluded cloud, then ate his meal.

_Disaster averted,_ he thought. _It was kind of mean to run out on Pinkie Pie like that, but I couldn't possibly spend any time with her. Not when she's the zombie-female version of my good friend, who has been sent on a mission to kill me._

_Besides, if she's anything like Berry Bubble, she wouldn't have left me alone for the next two hours. Man, that brony is persistent when he meets somepony new._

_...And he makes a pretty hot mare. She has the cutest chubby cheeks and—augh! Why do I have to think every mare I meet is cute?!_

_Maybe Elusive is right. I am a filly fiend._

Rainbow Blitz frowned, as he remembered a fight he and his friends got into a few days earlier. They had all gotten together for their weekly pets outing, and Rainbow started talking about girls.

"Did you see that mare at the gala?" he asked. "She was cute!"

"Oh, Rainbow, you think _every _mare is cute," Elusive said dismissively. "Even Applejack's sister."

"What's wrong with mah sister?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah, she's hot!" Rainbow Blitz said.

Applejack smacked Rainbow Blitz. "Don't talk about mah sister that way!"

"You see what I mean?" Elusive said. "Rainbow, you're a total filly fiend, and you'll never develop any meaningful relationships unless you change your ways."

"I...what?" Rainbow Blitz asked.

Dusk Shine sighed. "He's saying you need to stop chasing after every mare you meet."

"I...I do _not_ chase after every mare I meet!" Rainbow Dash said.

"That's not what the mares say!" Bubble Berry giggled. "They say you're the biggest flirt in town!"

"Yeah, Spines says that some of the mares avoid you on purpose because you're so...you know..." Dusk Shine said.

"Horny?" Applejack suggested.

"I was going to say 'competitive'," Dusk Shine said.

"No way!" Rainbow Blitz said. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I'm...I'm not a horrible mare-chaser! Butterscotch, back me up here, bro!"

The yellow pegasus pawed the ground. "Um...if I was a mare, I'd be scared of you," he said.

"An' Ah'd never let you near mah big sister," Applejack said.

"Great, all my friends think I'm a pervert," Rainbow Blitz said. "Any _other_ big secrets you guys are keeping from me?"

"Never fear, Rainbow," Elusive said, patting himself on the chest. "I can teach you how to _properly_ conduct yourself around ladies! And how to find mares with _class!_"

Rainbow Blitz was starting to wish he had listened to his friends on that occasion. Mares were nothing but trouble.

* * *

The next day, Twilight Sparkle and the rest of her friends used a balloon to reach Cloudsdale. She used the cloud-walking spell again, so nopony was in danger of falling.

"I must say, it's nice to be back here," Rarity said. "Without wings, that is."

"Yeah!" Pinkie Pie said. "The view from up here is fantastic!"

All five ponies were happy, but Fluttershy had an extra spring in her step. Twilight took notice of this, and said, "Do you like being back in your old home, Fluttershy?"

"Yeah..." Fluttershy said. "I think when the tryouts are over, maybe I'll go visit my parents."

"Oooo! Sounds like _fun!_" Pinkie Pie said. "Can we come, too? Can we? Can we? Can we? I've never met your parents!"

"Um...uh..." Fluttershy said. She looked ready to run away and hide.

"I'm not sure they're ready to meet you, Pinkie," Twilight said.

"But I met Rainbow Dash's brother yesterday!" Pinkie said. "Sure, he ran out on me halfway through, but I think it went well! I can _totally _meet new pegasuses!"

"Buh—Rainbow Dash has a _brother?_" Twilight asked. "I didn't know that!"

"Me neither," Applejack said.

"She...she doesn't," Fluttershy said. "I've met her family."

"Huh?" Pinkie Pie asked. "But Rainbow Blitz said he was her twin brother, and he looks _just_ like her!"

_"Rainbow Blitz?!"_ Rarity asked. "I—that is, he—do you mean—_that scoundrel! _He told me he didn't know Rainbow Dash!"

"I take it that Pinkie isn't the only one who's met this pony," Twilight Sparkle commented.

"Indeed," Rarity said. "I had the misfortune of meeting Mr. Blitz yesterday. He stopped by Carousel Boutique after I...er...well, never mind what I did to him. It's not _proper_ behavior for ladies—"

"You did something improper?" Fluttershy asked. "That's not like you."

"Yeah, you never break rules!" Pinkie Pie said. "What happened?"

"I...I'm not proud of it..." Rarity said.

All her friends leaned in closer, eager to hear Rarity's story.

"I...I kicked him in the face, all right?" Rarity asked, her face reddening. "I gave him two black eyes."

"Hoo-wee!" Applejack said. "Ah know who Ah'm asking fer help, next applebuck season!"

Rarity looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, he deserved it for getting flirty with me!" she said. "And apparently, he was lying to me, too! What—what if he hurt poor Rainbow Dash?"

"What makes you think he hurt Rainbow?" Twilight asked.

"Rainbow disappears, at the same time a stallion who looks _just like her_ appears?" Rarity asked. "As I thought yesterday, it _can't_ be a coincidence."

"Rainbow Dash is _missing?_" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Oh no!" Fluttershy said.

"Ah knew somethin' was wrong!" Applejack said.

"Calm down, everypony," Twilight said. "I'm sure Rainbow Dash is fine, and we'll see her out the tryouts. _Nothing_ will stop her from being here today."

* * *

Tryouts for the Wonderbolts were easier than you would have expected. There was a basic obstacle course set out, and everypony had to clear the entire course within a set amount of time. Each contestant had to go through the course separately.

_These are the difficult tryouts?_ Rainbow Blitz wondered. _This is nothing!_

In Cloudsdale, ponies said that tryouts for the Wonderbolts were incredibly difficult. 70% of all applicants never made it past the first round. When he heard this, Rainbow Blitz had been expecting some sort of dragon-fighting challenge. Instead, the challenge mostly involved flying through rings and dodging strategically-placed clouds.

Everypony went one at a time, and they went in alphabetical order. Five ponies went before Rainbow Blitz, and four of them failed.

"Next up, Rainbow Blitz," the announcer said.

_Here goes everything..._ Rainbow Blitz thought, as he began flying. His minor case of stage fright (which he would never admit to having) disappeared as soon as he felt the wind beneath his wings. He let out a happy sigh, then powered up through the obstacles.

About halfway through, Rainbow Blitz's confidence overtook him. He was in the _zone!_ Nothing would break his concentration now! His life-long dream would finally be achieved, and—

"Rainbooooow!" a loud cheer reached his ears.

Rainbow cast a glance in the general direction of his well-wishers. He was shocked to see that the cheer wasn't from his friends, or his well-wishers. It was from the five mares from Ponyville.

Rarity was making angry gestures towards Rainbow Blitz, while Twilight Sparkle's mouth was flapping non-stop, saying words that Rainbow couldn't hear. Pinkie Pie (the one who cheered) was jumping up and down on top of a yellow pony who was pulling on her hair. Applejack was on the far left, and she was staring at Rainbow Blitz with pure shock on her face. She was so shocked, in fact, that her hat had fallen off, and she didn't even notice.

Rainbow instinctively turned away from the five mares. Even though it was only a slight movement, Rainbow hit the side of the ring that he was supposed to fly through. A dull "thunk" sounded throughout the amphitheater as Blitz's wing hit hollow plastic.

For a few desperate seconds, Rainbow Blitz feared his wing was broken, and he slowed down. But once he realized his wing was just fine, he accelerated his pace. Flying faster than before, Rainbow Blitz zig-zagged through the rest of the rings that were set out. He grinned as he blazed across the finish line.

"So, how did I—?" Rainbow began to ask, but the question died in his throat when he saw the Wonderbolts shaking their heads.

"I'm sorry," Soarin' said. "But we have to ask you to go home."

"Are you sure?" Spitfire asked. "Out of all the contestants we've seen, he had the fastest time, by far!"

"Yes, but he hit that ring," Soarin' said. "That's an automatic disqualification."

"No—no!" Rainbow Blitz said. "I didn't hit that ring on purpose! I—I got distracted!"

"I noticed," Soarin' said. "And I'm sorry, but the Wonderbolts can't accept any members who are easily distracted by the ponies in the stands during a performance. If we were using metal rings, or if you had flown a few more inches to the left, you could have seriously injured your wing."

Rainbow Blitz couldn't argue with that logic. In fact, he couldn't do much of anything, besides be crushed by his failure.

"But...it was an accident..." Rainbow Blitz moaned. "You...you gotta let me try again!"

"Tough luck, cutie," Spitfire said, putting her hoof on Rainbow Blitz's shoulder. "But to be honest, you probably wouldn't have made the cut, anyway. We're actually looking for a mare to join this time around."

"Feel free to try again next time," Soarin' suggested.

* * *

Back in the viewing area, Rainbow Blitz's performance had caused quite a stir among our pony friends.

"Ah swear, he _does_ look like Dash's twin brother!" Applejack said.

"She doesn't _have_ a twin brother!" Fluttershy said. "Trust me! I've known her longer than any of you have."

"I recognize that colt now," Twilight Sparkle said. "He's the one I summoned to the library."

"What?" a few of the ponies asked.

"Twilight, Ah told you not to mess around with any summoning spells!" Applejack said.

"But why not?" Twilight asked. "Magic is my specialty, and besides, nothing bad happened!"

"What_ did_ happen, dear?" Rarity asked.

"I was looking for a pegasus who could help Rainbow Dash prepare for the tryouts," Twilight said. "And he happened to be the one that the spell found."

"So _you_ brought him to Ponyville," Rarity said.

"Yes," Twilight said. "But I couldn't convince him to help Rainbow Dash, so he left two minutes later. The spell took a lot out of me, so I decided not to try again."

"That doesn't sound _too_ bad," Applejack admitted.

"Next up, Rainbow Dash!" the announcer said.

"Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie cheered. "It's her turn now!"

The five mares cheered, until it became obvious that Rainbow Dash wasn't there. They exchanged worried glances.

"Um...Rainbow Dash," the announcer said. "Rainbow Dash, it is your turn to go through the obstacle course."

* * *

_Huh_, Rainbow Blitz thought. _Looks like my evil twin didn't show up._

"No Rainbow Dash?" Spitfire asked, sounding slightly disappointed. Dash was one of the two competitors whose names that Spitfire recognized.

Rainbow Blitz took a moment to discretely examine Spitfire. He had to admit, the fire-haired Wondercolt looked a lot more attractive in the mare universe.

"What are you looking at?" Spitfire asked him.

"Uh, nothing!" Rainbow Blitz said. "I should...get going."

He turned around and flew off, wondering what to do next. He was somewhat inclined to find a corner somewhere, so he could cry out his frustration in losing the tryouts. Then again, Rainbow Blitz had already decided to blame his failure on the mares and the mare universe, because clearly, it wasn't _his_ fault he didn't make the cut.

_I'm awesome! I'm great!_ Rainbow Blitz thought. _I'm—_

Rainbow Blitz felt a sharp tug in his stomach as he disappeared and reappeared inside one of the viewing booths in the amphitheater. His eyes widened as he saw Twilight Sparkle, her horn still glowing slightly.

"Told you summoning spells were useful," Twilight said. Next to her stood her four mare friends, with looks of anger, suspicion and confusion on their faces.

_I'm dead,_ Rainbow Blitz thought.

"What did you do to Rainbow Dash?!" Rarity demanded.

"Augh!" Rainbow Blitz cried. "Evil mares who want to kill me!"

"_What?"_ Twilight asked.

"Where is she?" Rarity asked. "Where's our friend?"

"You'll never take me alive!" Rainbow Blitz said. He jumped into the air, intending to fly off and tell Prince Solaris, when seemingly out of nowhere, a rope wound itself around his midsection.

"Gotcha!" Applejack said. "You can't get away that easy!"

Applejack had been standing behind Rainbow Blitz when she lassoed him, so the rope was underneath his spread wings. He gave them an experimental flap to ensure they still worked, then he tried flying away at top speed.

"AAAAA!" Rainbow Blitz screeched, straining to get away. Applejack pulled as hard as she could on the rope, and Pinkie Pie pulled on Applejack. Rainbow Blitz dragged them forward a few inches before Twilight and Rarity joined the tug-of-war.

"Get! Back! HERE!" Rarity ordered.

"No no no NO!" Rainbow Blitz screamed.

That was when a yellow pegasus flew up in front of Rainbow Blitz's face. "Please don't fly away!" Fluttershy said. "We just want to talk to you."

"I don't believe that for a second!" Rainbow Blitz said. "I know the truth! You're my best friends, who were turned into mares by the Great and Terrible Trixine, so she could brainwash you into killing me!"

"Rrrrrgh!" Applejack said, pulling on the rope.

"He's clearly out of his mind," Rarity said.

"Seems normal enough to me!" Pinkie Pie said.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie?" Twilight asked, stunned. "_She_ has something to do with this?"

"She's my crazy ex-marefriend!" Rainbow Blitz said.

"Please don't leave," Fluttershy said, putting her hoof on the shoulder of Rainbow Blitz. She sometimes had to deal with spooked animals, and she was putting those skills to use here. "We aren't going to hurt you. We just want to talk about Rainbow Dash. Is that okay?"

Rainbow Blitz looked into Fluttershy's eyes, and his heart melted instantly. "Oh...okay," Rainbow Blitz said, with a huge sigh. He stopped struggling, landed on the ground, and folded up his wings.

"Fine," he said. "I'll tell you everything you want to know."

The mares breathed a sigh of relief, and the instant they relaxed their grips on the rope, Rainbow Blitz flew off at a speed which was extremely close to the sonic barrier. He was long gone before anypony could react.

"Can this day _get_ any weirder?" Twilight Sparkle wondered.


	5. Princess Celestia

"That stallion does _not_ want to talk to us," Applejack said. "What was that nonsense he was spoutin' about some evil unicorn?"

"He seems to think that Trixie brainwashed us," Twilight said.

"Yeah, he said we were going to kill him!" Pinkie Pie said. "Not to be a meanie-weanie, but that's crazy!"

"If anything, this confirms that he has _something _to do with Rainbow Dash's disappearance," Rarity said. "Use the summoning spell on him again, Twilight. We won't let him escape a second time!"

"I've got a better plan," Twilight said. "Why don't I just use the summoning spell to bring Rainbow Dash here?"

"That way, she could still be here in time for the tryouts!" Pinkie Pie said. "Twilight, you're a genius!"

"Yes, Rainbow Dash could tell us what happened," Fluttershy agreed.

"Here goes nothing!" Twilight said. She began the summoning spell, but after about a minute of work, it became obvious that nothing would result. Twilight cancelled the spell.

"Well?" Rarity asked.

"It's not working," Twilight said. "She must be too far away for me to reach. We _are_ in Cloudsdale, after all."

"So...what now?" Applejack asked.

"Hmmm..." Pinkie Pie said, thinking. "Oh, I know! Party at Fluttershy's parents' house!"

"Eep!" Fluttershy said. "No, they'd get mad!"

* * *

Rainbow Blitz flew nonstop to Canterlot, although he did slow down a bit once he felt he was safe.

_What is going on here?_ Rainbow Blitz wondered. _All five of my friends have been turned into mares! And it's not just them! All the stallions in Ponyville have become mares, too!_

_And in Cloudsdale, it was the same kind of thing! The colts and the mares in the Wondercolts all...switched places! It was weird!_

_What is going on, and why do I seem to be the only pony who hasn't been affected?_

Rainbow's best guess was that a unicorn had cast a huge magic spell, which caused ponies to change genders. But who could do such a thing? And why? Would this mysterious evil unicorn attack Rainbow Blitz, if she found out he escaped her spell?

_The Prince will know what to do,_ Rainbow Blitz thought. _Solaris has always been able to help us out. He, like, started the magic school that Dusk Shine went to. He'll know all about this spell!_

_...I hope._

Finally, Canterlot came into view. Rainbow put on a burst of speed and flew straight towards Canterlot Castle. He didn't know where the Prince was, but he was determined to find Solaris. Even if that meant searching every single room in the large building.

As it so happened, Princess Celestia was walking down one of the halls with two visitors, discussing the housing crisis. You see, the economy in Equestria was so bad that most ponies couldn't afford to buy their own houses. Hence, most ponies had to live where they worked, like Twilight Sparkle, Rarity and Pinkie Pie did.

"If we could close unsuccessful businesses and replace them with newstores, it would help—" one pony said.

"I refuse to let any of my subjects become homeless," Princess Celestia said firmly. "The important thing is not making money, but saving lives."

"You must consider the greater good," the other visitor said. "This plan will help a lot of ponies."

"I do not want to help a _lot_ of ponies," Princess Celestia said calmly. "I want to help _all_ ponies."

The economic debate continued, until they were interrupted by a scream from a nearby hall.

"PRINCE SOLARIS? WHERE ARE YOU?" a voice shouted.

Celestia stopped suddenly. "Prince Solaris?" she asked.

"Who is making that noise?" one of the ponies asked.

"Pardon me for just a moment," Princess Celestia said. She galloped to a nearby guard station, and ordered the guards to bring her the pony who was making a disturbance about Solaris.

* * *

Princess Celestia almost forgot about the disturbance, until about an hour later, when she was dining with Princess Cadance. Their meal was interrupted when the doors opened and in walked the Captain of the Guard, Shining Armor.

"Shining!" Cadance said. "Want to join us for lunch?"

"Sorry, Cadance," Shining Armor said. "I'm here on official business."

"Oh?" Princess Celestia asked. "Has something happened?"

Shining bowed to his princess, then stood up straight. "We caught the troublemaker you were looking for." He gestured towards the doorway, where two guards were standing. At Shining's signal, they slowly walked into the room. Between them, they had Rainbow Blitz in chains.

"This is unfair!" Rainbow Blitz complained, as he struggled to get loose. "When Prince Solaris learns what you've done, you guys are _so_ fired! I've saved the kingdom like nine times by now!"

"Prince Solaris?" Princess Cadance asked. "Who is he?"

"The rightful ruler of Equestria!" Rainbow Blitz shouted. "You phony ponies should—mmmph!"

Shining Armor used his magic to silence Rainbow Blitz, by shoving a napkin in his mouth.

"He keeps spouting nonsense about Prince Solaris and some kind of mare spell," Shining Armor said. "We would have caught him sooner, but he's a very fast flier."

Princess Celestia left her place and went around the table to get a closer look at Rainbow Blitz. It did not take her long to determine his identity.

"You are a long way from home, Rainbow...Blitz, isn't it?" she said. "I'm guessing the pony responsible is...what was his name? Oh, yes, Dusk Shine."

Rainbow Blitz shook his head, because he could not say anything with his mouth blocked.

"No?" Celestia asked. "The mare version of him, then."

Rainbow Blitz slowly nodded, unsure what else he should do. At his response, Princess Celestia stood up fully.

"What should we do, Princess?" Shining Armor asked.

"I think I should send a letter to your sister," Celestia said.

* * *

Twilight didn't receive the Princess' letter until she and her friends had returned to Ponyville, around three. She immediately had to run around town, gathering her friends for an impromptu trip to Canterlot.

There was some trouble with Applejack—Big Mac was mighty sore about the fact that she was skipping out on her farm duties twice in one day—but they all managed to catch a ride on the 5:00 train.

"Trust the Princess to solve the problem before we even tell her about it!" Twilight Sparkle gushed. "That's why she's the best mentor ever! I'm so lucky to have her as my teacher!"

"Yes, the Princess _is_ wonderful," Rarity said, rereading Celestia's letter. "But...this doesn't sit right with me."

"What?" Twilight asked. "What's wrong?"

"The letter only talks about Rainbow Blitz," Rarity said. "It doesn't mention Rainbow Dash at all."

"She's right," Fluttershy said. "What happened to Rainbow Dash?"

"We know she's not in Cloudsdale," Twilight said. "And she's not in Ponyville—I tried summoning her there, too."

"Maybe she's in Canterlot, waiting for us!" Pinkie Pie suggested.

"If she _was _there, why didn't the Princess mention it?" Rarity pointed out. "I highly doubt she'd overlook something like that."

"You have a point," Twilight said. "Where _is_ Rainbow Dash? Maybe Rainbow Blitz knows, and that's why he doesn't want to talk to us."

"Maybe he's just embarrassed to talk to ponies, because Rainbow is a girl's name!" Pinkie Pie suggested.

"That too," Twilight allowed.

* * *

In an unexpected turn of events, Princess Celestia herself was waiting by the entrance to the palace, ready to greet the Elements of Harmony.

"Hello, girls," Princess Celestia said. "It's wonderful to see you all again."

"Princess!" Twilight said. She ran forward to meet her mentor. "We came here as fast as we could."

"Yes, and I thank you very much," Celestia said. "I believe that only you can help me return Rainbow Blitz to his home."

"You know where he's from?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Indeed I do," Celestia said. "It's a long story, but I'm sure it will be—are we missing somepony? Where is your friend Rainbow Dash?"

Twilight's face fell. "I thought _you_ knew, Princess," she said.

"She's been missin' for the past few days," Applejack said.

"Oh, my," Princess Celestia said. "That is certainly not good news."

"Does—doesn't Rainbow Blitz have something to do with her disappearance?" Rarity asked.

"Perhaps," Princess Celestia said. "What do you know about Rainbow Blitz?"

All five ponies spoke at once.

"He refuses to talk to us!"

"He's a womanizing scoundrel!"

"He scares me..."

"He's mighty odd, that's for sure."

"He's _really _good at kissing!"

A silence fell over the group, as everypony turned to stare at Pinkie Pie.

"What?" Pinkie Pie asked. "That's what Rosemary at the spa said!"

Princess Celestia smiled slightly.

"The truth is, Princess, we don't know much about Rainbow Blitz," Twilight said. "He either tries to avoid us, or in the case of Rarity, flirt with us."

"I see," Princess Celestia said. "I take it, then, that none of you have any idea of who he is? Or where he's from?"

The ponies shook their heads. "Why?" Twilight asked. "Is it important?"

"It is _very _important," Princess Celestia said. "He is from another universe."

_"What?"_ five ponies yelled in confusion.

"Not just any universe," Celestia explained. "A universe which is just like ours, except it is gender-swapped. In his home universe, all the mares are colts, and all the colts are mares."

"Wait...you mean?" Twilight asked.

"Yes," Celestia said. "Rainbow Blitz is the male version of our friend Rainbow Dash. For all intents and purposes, he _is_ Rainbow Dash, if she had been born as a colt."

"...Okay, somepony pinch me," Applejack said. "Ah'm about ready to wake up from this dream now."

Pinkie Pie pinched Applejack.

"Ouch!" Applejack said.

"I have been speaking with Rainbow Blitz," Princess Celestia said. "And he says that he first came to our universe—the mare universe—when Twilight Sparkle brought him here."

"But...I don't even know _how _to open an inter-dimensional wormhole!" Twilight protested.

"Wait a minute," Rarity said. "Do you mean to say, he comes from a universe where _stallions_ are in charge of everything? How horrifying!"

"I dunno, Stallion World sounds fun!" Pinkie Pie said, bouncing up and down. "Can I meet the stallion version of _me?_"

"This...this is not good," Fluttershy said.

"I don't think we should spend the entire night out here, talking," Princess Celestia said. She gestured towards the entrance. "Let us go inside and have dinner first. I imagine you are all hungry after the train ride here."

There was a murmur of agreement. The ponies followed Princess Celestia's invitation, and they all went inside. As Twilight Sparkle passed, the Princess put out a hoof, preventing her from proceeding.

"Twilight, I know you brought Rainbow Blitz here with a summoning spell," Princess Celestia said. "You and I need to discuss this spell, _very carefully._"

"Y...yes," Twilight gulped._ I'm in trouble..._

* * *

Princess Celestia shook her head. Based on Twilight's information, no inter-dimensional travel should ever have occurred three days ago.

"Are you _sure_ Rainbow Dash was nowhere near the library?" Celestia asked.

"I was the only pony inside the building," Twilight said. "Not even _Spike _was there. I guess it's possible that Rainbow Dash was flying right outside, though."

"But you were in the center of the library," Celestia said. "Not standing next to any walls?"

"That's right," Twilight said.

Celestia pondered this. It is impossible to create an inter-dimensional wormhole which is over seven feet in diameter. Even _if_ Twilight had unknowingly created one, there was nopony within range at the time.

"I just don't know what went wrong," Celestia said. "The only explanation is that your summoning spell went through a wormhole to Rainbow Blitz's dimension."

"But there _was_ no wormhole in the Golden Oaks Library," Twilight said.

"I know that," Princess Celestia said. "But instead of summoning him from another dimension, you sort of...swapped him with our Rainbow."

"I wasn't performing a swapping spell, though," Twilight said. "I swear, all I did was a standard summoning spell. There's no _way_ it could have ended up like this."

"I believe you," Celestia said. Twilight let out a huge sigh of relief at that. "But there _has_ to be more going on here than we know about at the current moment. Nopony can accidentally travel through dimensions, without knowing it."

They discussed various possibilities, but the two magic users could not think of a good explanation for what had happened. Deciding to put off thinking about it until later, Princess Celestia and Twilight entered the dining room together. The four friends had already gotten started on their meal.

"Sorry for the holdup, everypony," Princess Celestia said. "Twilight and I were discussing the magical aspects of what happened."

"So what _did_ happen?" Applejack asked.

"As far as I can tell..." Princess Celestia said. "Somehow, Rainbow Blitz and Rainbow Dash switched places. Now he's in the mare universe, and she's in the stallion universe."

"Oh, then, no big deal, right?" Pinkie Pie said. "All you have to do is cast the same spell again, and everything will be back to normal."

"Er...not exactly," Twilight said.

Rarity sighed. "Of _course_ it wouldn't be that simple," she said.

"Well, then what _do_ we do?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"There is only one thing we can do," Princess Celestia said seriously. "We have to send somepony to the stallion universe, so she can find Rainbow Dash and bring her back here."

"Wait, _what?_" Twilight Sparkle asked. "We have to—we have to go to another universe?"

"One of you does, yes," Princess Celestia said. "It's the only way."

"But there are millions of universes!" Twilight Sparkle said. "How do we know which one to go to?"

Celestia smiled to herself. While popular theory held that there were an infinite number of universes, Celestia knew for a fact that there were only five universes in total. She had been to all of them, including the frightening universe containing humans.

"I'm pretty sure I can help you find the right one," Princess Celestia said. "I've had some experience with this in the past."

Twilight was slightly confused by this statement. Did the Princess know more than she was saying?

"The only question is, 'who will go?'," Celestia asked. "Does anypony volunteer to go to another dimension, in search of Rainbow Dash?"

"I'll do it," Twilight Sparkle said automatically. "This whole situation is somewhat my fault."

"You need to remain here, I'm afraid," Celestia said. "That way, you can serve as a magical anchor and bring back whoever goes."

"Sorry, but Ah'm too busy with th' farm to go dimension-hopping," Applejack said.

"Me me me me me me me me me!" Pinkie Pie shouted, jumping up and down.

"Rarity? Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, no, I couldn't," Fluttershy said. "I'm allergic to other dimensions."

"Let me get this straight," Rarity said. "You want to send me to another dimension, one which is _filled to the brim _with attractive, single stallions?"

"Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!" Pinkie Pie said.

"I volunteer!" Rarity said. "I haven't met a nice stallion in _forever! _Er, that is, I'll do it for Rainbow Dash!"

"Rainbow Dash is my friend, too!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Perhaps we should send both of them," Princess Celestia suggested. "Two ponies could find Rainbow Dash twice as quickly."

"Er, somehow, I don't think that's a good idea..." Twilight said.


	6. Rainbow Dash Arrives

_Three Days Earlier_

In the stallion universe, Dusk Shine was performing a magical experiment, with the help of his number one assistant, Spines the baby dragon.

"Just think of it, Spines," Dusk Shine was saying. "If this works, we'll be able to communicate with somepony from another dimension!"

"I understand _that_," Spines said. "I just don't understand why I have to play mailmare with them."

As usual, Spines was in charge of sending Dusk Shine's letters. Dusk didn't trust the ponies in town who delivered mail. The cross-eyed pegasus who covered most of town had a bad habit of crashing into things, and the mailmare who delivered mail on the edge of town tended to deliver bills to the wrong address, due to her bad eyesight.

"It'd be too dangerous for one of us to go through the wormhole," Dusk Shine said. "But sending a scroll? Piece of cake. Now let's get started."

Dusk began to read from the book on the ground in front of him. Concentrating with some difficulty, he managed to open an inter-dimensional wormhole, right in the middle of the library ceiling.

"Woah!" Spines said, jumping backwards in fright.

"You have letter ready?" Dusk asked.

"You bet," Spines said. She held up the scroll that Dusk Shine had prepared. "So, I just throw this in the hole?"

"No," Dusk said. "It's safest if nothing physically travels through the wormhole. Just send it like a normal letter, and I'll cast a switching spell on it."

"Okay..." Spines said. She took a deep breath, then blew green flames on the letter, transforming it into green smoke. The smoke wafted up towards the ceiling, where the wormhole was. Dusk Shine threw a switching spell towards the green smoke, completely unaware that Twilight Sparkle's summoning spell had slipped in, through the other side of the wormhole.

To explain it in non-magical terms: things went crazy.

***Phooosh!***

***Foooom!***

***Chicka-chicka-boom-boom!***

"Is it _supposed_ to do that?" Spines asked, as green mist seemed to cover the entire ceiling.

"I hope so!" Dusk said, suddenly fearing that monsters from another universe would attack.

The green mist turned brighter, then dimmer, and it condensed into a shape around the size of your average stallion, before it flew through the wormhole and disappeared.

Dusk Shine and Spines let out a sigh of relief. The ceiling of the library looked normal once again, if you didn't count the large wormhole.

"Great, I think they received the letter!" Dusk Shine said. "Next time, I should probably practice before trying to cast spells on mist."

"You BWAAAAARP!" Spines said, burping out a letter in the middle of her sentence.

"Yes!" Dusk Shine cried. He immediately closed the wormhole—which was taking way too much magic power to maintain, anyway—and walked over. "The letter from the other dimension! What does it say?"

"I can't believe they answered so quickly," Spines commented. She picked up the crumpled-up piece of paper and read it aloud.

* * *

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_Today, I learned that not everypony likes it when I sing in public. While singing can be an excellent way of relieving tension and showing your emotions, other ponies feel compelled to sing backup and dance along, whenever I start a song. This can put unnecessary pressure on them, especially the ones who aren't good at dancing to begin with._

**_Spike here. Personally, I think impromptu musical numbers are kind of silly, but I'd like to add that sometimes, I feel left out. I mean, Twilight and her friends sing all the time, but they almost never let me sing along with them._**

_Octavia was really nice when she helped explain this to me. You'd think she would be mad or at least annoyed. I know I would be, if I had to talk about the same thing over and over again, all day long, to a bunch of different ponies. But Octavia was still kind and helpful, as if I was the first pony who asked that day, not the four hundredth. I wish I could be as patient as her._

**_And the only time they let me sing, I have to sing backup. I think I should have a solo! Or better yet, I could start a band with Pinkie and the Cutie Mark Crusaders! We could call ourselves "The Dragon Explosion!"_**

_Spike, are you adding your own commentary to my letters again?_

**_Uh...no.?_**

_Spike! Great, now I have to throw this letter out and start over from the beginning again!_

[After this was a bunch of furious scribbles at the bottom of the page]

* * *

Dusk and Spines looked at each other.

"_That's_ the letter they sent?" Spines asked finally.

"Heh heh," Dusk said, running a hoof through his hair. "I guess the closest letter the spell could find was inside a trashcan."

"Well, _that_ certainly wasn't worth the effort," Spines said.

"Hey, it wasn't a total loss!" Dusk said. "We learned that the Spines in the other universe is called Spike...and she wants to start a band!"

"Not a bad idea, come to think of it," Spines said. "Maybe I should try to learn guitar!"

"Not as long as you're living here, you're not!" Dusk Shine said. "Those things are too noisy for a library!"

Dusk and Spines squabbled for a bit, the letter from another dimension forgotten. As it turned out, Twilight Sparkle never found the letter that Dusk wrote to her, mainly because it appeared inside her trashcan.

* * *

Shortly before Dusk's magical misadventure, back in the mare universe, Rainbow Dash was preparing something wonderful.

"This is gonna be awesome," Rainbow Dash said to herself, as she stretched her wings out in preparation for her latest stunt. "If the Wonderbolts don't accept me after this, then they're crazy."

Rainbow Dash's plan to impress the Wonderbolts dealt with her weather item of choice: rainbows. In her experience, rainbows generally tended to last for a minute or so, after it stopped raining in an area.

Being a pegasus pony, Rainbow Dash was able to grab a raincloud and set it off, near the edge of Applejack's farm. Rainbow was currently on the other end of the farm, using a pair of binoculars to examine the raincloud from a distance. Right on schedule, the cloud stopped raining, and a rainbow appeared.

"GO!" Rainbow Dash shouted, pumping her wings to the maximum.

The plan was simple. The rainbow from the rain cloud would stay in place, for about a minute. That was _more_ than enough time. All Dash had to do was gauge the distance properly, and if everything went perfectly, she would perform a Sonic Rainboom _from inside a rainbow_.

Rainbow Dash wasn't sure what this would look like. Would it be a Double Sonic Rainboom? Would the Rainboom push the rainbow out? Would it have no real effect on anything, besides looking totally cool?

Rainbow Dash felt herself going up against the sound barrier, but instead of breaking through it, she maintained her current speed. _Not yet...not yet...almost there...NOW!_

A half-second before Rainbow Dash pierced the sonic barrier, Dusk Shine's inter-dimensional switching spell, combined with Twilight Sparkle's summoning spell, was set loose. Without knowing what was happening, Rainbow Dash winked out of existence in her own Ponyville, and she was transported to the stallion universe.

Where she immediately crashed into a tree. Unexpected inter-dimensional travel at high speeds can do that to you.

"Ow! What the hay?" Rainbow asked, getting back up to her hooves. "Where'd that tree come from?"

Rainbow Dash looked around, and it took a second to recognize this area.

"Hey, this isn't Sweet Apple Acres!" Rainbow Dash said. "This is near Fluttershy's! What gives?"

Rainbow Dash flew up and looked around. She couldn't understand it. Not only did she mess up her stunt, but she was nowhere near where she should be. If she didn't know any better, she'd say that she disappeared from one place and reappeared somewhere else.

"Maybe...maybe the stunt _did_ work, and I just traveled super-far without knowing it?" Rainbow Dash wondered. She considered the possibility for a moment, but she dismissed it as impossible because there were no rainbows in the sky anywhere.

A little weirded out by the whole ordeal, Rainbow Dash decided to pick up her binoculars at Sweet Apple Acres, before going home and trying to figure out what went wrong. Either that, or she would go to sleep.

As she passed by Fluttershy's, Rainbow Dash saw her yellow friend out in her front yard, feeding some cats. Rainbow stopped suddenly, when she caught sight of her friend's short mane.

"Whoa ho ho!" Rainbow Dash said, laughing at the sight. "And people say _I'm_ the tomboy!"

Rainbow Dash flew down to the ground. "Hey, Fluttershy, nice manecut!" she teased. "Your mane is so short, you look like—"

The yellow pegasus turned around and looked at Rainbow Dash. Fear covered every inch of his face, and Rainbow Dash was momentarily stunned speechless. Whoever this stallion was, he was _not _Fluttershy.

"—like a colt?" Rainbow Dash finished.

"I...I..." the yellow pegasus said. His eyes dashed left and right, and then he himself dashed—right inside the cottage, slamming the door behind him.

"What the hay is going on today?" Rainbow Dash wondered. Shaking her head, she flew in through one of the windows to Fluttershy's cottage.

"Eek!" the yellow colt screamed.

"All right, punk!" Dash yelled. "Who are you, and what are you doing in Fluttershy's house?"

"I'm...I'm Butterscotch," the yellow pegasus said.

"I didn't ask what _color_ you are; I asked for your _name_," Rainbow Dash said.

"B-Butterscotch _is_ my name," Butterscotch said.

"You were named after a candy?" Rainbow Dash asked. "That's kind of...well, whatever. You know you shouldn't be here, right?"

"I...I shouldn't?" Butterscotch asked.

"No!" Rainbow Dash said. When she saw the stallion flinch, she decided to ease up on her interrogation. The poor stallion was clearly scared out of his mind.

"You shouldn't break into other ponies' houses," Rainbow said. "I admit, you kind of _look_ like Fluttershy—which is totally weird—but if she's not here, you shouldn't be here. Got it?"

"Eek!" Butterscotch said. "G-got it! Just please don't hurt me!"

"Relax, I'm not going to hurt you," Rainbow Dash said. "I'm just trying to help out my friend Fluttershy, is all. No big deal."

"I...I don't know who that is..." Butterscotch said.

"You don't know Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash asked. Butterscotch flinched when she said this.

"I...I don't know a lot of ponies...especially mares..." Butterscotch said. "Mares are scary..."

_Jeez, he should know Fluttershy,_ Rainbow Dash thought. _He's the only pony I've met who's as shy as she is!_

"Fluttershy lives here," Rainbow Dash said. "Which means you're trespassing on her property!"

"I...I own this cottage," Butterscotch mumbled inaudibly.

"What was that?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"_I'm sorry, I'll never trespass again!_" Butterscotch said.

"That's good," Rainbow Dash said. "Now let's go outside."

"Uh...uh...go outside with you?" Butterscotch asked. "No...I can't...what if somepony sees us together?"

Rainbow Dash sighed. This stallion was just as bad as Fluttershy, during one of her panic attacks. "Dude, just calm down," Rainbow Dash said. "You know, you've never going to get a marefriend with _that_ attitude, Mr. Nervous."

Butterscotch trembled. Rainbow Dash had unknowingly hit upon a sore spot with him. During flight school, the other pegasi had teased Butterscotch about him and mares. They even had an impolite sing-song chant about it.

Rainbow stared at Butterscotch. "Uh...you okay?" she asked.

Then the dam burst.

"Waaaaaaaah!" Butterscotch cried, tears flying everywhere. "You're right! You're right! _I'm never going to get a marefriend!_"

"Whoa!" Rainbow Dash said, stepping backwards. She wasn't used to crying colts, and she _definitely_ wasn't expecting Butterscotch to scream all of a sudden.

"Waaaaaah!" Butterscotch said, grabbing onto Dash's forelegs. "All...alone...FOREVER!"

"Hey, get off!" Rainbow Dash said, trying to remove her legs from the yellow pony's iron grip.

_"Nopony will ever love me!_" Butterscotch moaned. "They all avoid me, and I avoid them!"

"Look, I...I can help you!" Rainbow Dash said. "I'll get you a date! A marefriend! Anything! _Just stop crying!_"

The blubbering slowly stopped. "You'd do that for me?" Butterscotch asked.

"Sure!" Rainbow Dash said. "Just...never cry again, okay? I can't handle that kind of stuff."

"You...you're lying!" Butterscotch said. "No one can help meeeeeeee!"

"I know lots of mares," Rainbow Dash said. "I'm sure one of them would jump at the chance to date, uh, a hot stallion like you."

Rainbow Dash doubted this. As far as she knew, none of her friends had "timid" or "cries a lot" on the list of desirable traits for their dream stallions. Still, Rainbow Dash knew she could get a friend to go on at least _one_ date with this guy. Pinkie Pie owed Rainbow Dash a favor, and Twilight Sparkle...

"Yeah, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash said. "She'd be _perfect_ for you! She's not always good at dealing with other ponies, either!"

_Tricking Twilight into dating this guy will be a snap!_ Rainbow Dash thought. _All I have to do is tell her that it's a new kind of friendship for her to investigate._ _She'd eat that right up!_

On second thought, Rainbow Dash considered, maybe she didn't _have_ to trick Twilight into dating somepony. She didn't seem like the type of mare who had ever gone on a date. As in, ever. Twilight would probably jump at this opportunity.

"Who's Twilight?" Butterscotch asked.

"She lives at the library in town," Rainbow Dash said.

"She? You mean, Spines?" Butterscotch asked, confused.

"Spines? What the hay are you talking about?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"There aren't any mares in the library," Butterscotch said. "Dusk Shine lives there, with his baby dragon. Dusk is one of my best friends, along with Elusive and Berry Bubble and Applejack and—"

Rainbow Dash had no idea what Butterscotch was talking about, and once she heard a familiar name, she jumped on it. "You know Applejack, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Butterscotch nodded.

"But you _don't_ know who Fluttershy is," Rainbow Dash said.

Butterscotch shook his head.

Rainbow sighed. "How could you know Applejack, without knowing me or Fluttershy? That's just weird," she said. "Okay, whatever. Just don't trespass anymore, you got that?"

* * *

Rainbow Dash didn't notice anything different as she flew through the town. There were more stallions than normal, checking her out. One or two even whistled at her, but she ignored them all because they were Earth ponies, and to be honest, Dash wasn't interested in Earth ponies.

That's not to say Rainbow Dash was discriminatory, or something like that. She just couldn't picture herself dating anypony who wasn't a pegasus; flying meant too much to her for that to work. And so she ignored the stares of the Earth pony stallions, as she flew to the library.

Rainbow flew in through the window, like usual. "Hey, Twilight, I found somepony who—" Rainbow Dash started, then stopped. The lavender pony in the library was _not_ Twilight Sparkle.

The stallion turned around to greet Rainbow Dash, and his eyes widened. "Ruh—_Rainbow Blitz?_"

Rainbow Dash slammed her hooves against the ground. "All right, what's going on here?!" she demanded. "Where's Twilight Sparkle?"

* * *

Ten minutes later, the front door to the library slammed open, and in walked Elusive, the white-colored stallion who ran the Carousel Boutique.

"I got your letter and came right away," Elusive announced. "What's the emergency?"

"It's Rainbow Blitz," Dusk Shine said. "He's been turned into a mare."

"WHAT?" Elusive asked.

Dusk gestured to the corner of the library, where Rainbow Dash was. She waved a hoof at them. "Hey," Rainbow Dash said. "You must be the colt Rarity, right?"

Elusive fainted.


	7. I'll Make a Colt Out of You

Rainbow Dash was getting annoyed. The stallions were examining her, like some kind of weird science experiment. It was very disturbing.

"Her tail," Elusive said, running his hooves through Rainbow Dash's tail. "It's so much smoother now!"

"Wow, his snout is so small now!" Bubble Berry said. The pink party pony pushed Rainbow Dash's cheeks in. "I bet he can't even grow a beard anymore!"

"Hey, hooves off my face!" Rainbow Dash said, slapping Bubble Berry's hooves away.

"How did...how did this happen?" Butterscotch asked. The shy pony didn't know what to make of the situation.

"I have no idea," Dusk Shine said. "I don't know how to get him back to normal, either."

"Well, _that's_ simple enough," Elusive said. "Haven't you heard the story of Marelan?"

"The one where a mare dresses up like a colt?" Dusk Shine asked.

"Something like that," Elusive said. "All of Rainbow Blitz's manliness has been sucked out of him, and it's now floating out in the air!"

"Oh no!" Bubble Berry gasped. "Not his manliness!"

"You colts are insane," Rainbow Dash said.

"There's no need to worry," Elusive said. "If Blitz acts manly, the man-particles will be attracted to him and return!"

"Good thing there's nothing more manly than ponies!" Dusk Shine said.

"Indeed!" Elusive said. "So you see, the solution is simple. We just have to help Rainbow Blitz be manly! Then, he'll turn into a stallion again!"

"You colts are insane!" Rainbow Dash repeated. "And besides, I don't _want_ to be a stallion!"

"Nonsense," Elusive said. "Rainbow Blitz, I will teach you how to be a real stallion. I...will make a colt out of you."

Elusive held up a hoof, and dramatic background music started playing. Dash looked around in confusion, as Elusive burst into song.

(Tune: _Be a Man_ from Disney's _Mulan_)

_Let's get down to business  
To make you a colt.  
'Cause now you're rather useless  
And a pathetic dolt!_

_You're a spineless, pale, pathetic mare  
And you haven't got a prayer  
Somehow I'll make a colt out of you!_

Rainbow Dash was a little miffed that the song was openly insulting her. She was about to complain, when the other stallions began singing backup.

_Be a colt!  
You must be swift as the coursing river!  
Be a colt!  
With all the force of the great typhoon!  
Be a colt!  
With all the strength of a raging fire!  
Be a colt!  
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_

"So, we're asking Princess Luna for help?" Rainbow wondered.

_Bronies are quite manly,  
But you are...a mare  
You can't sing a bass line  
Or grow facial hair_

"Help me!" Rainbow Dash moaned.

"Here!" Spines said, opening the front door to the library and pointing at it. Rainbow Dash dodged a few dancing ponies on her way out the door, and she was happy when Spines shut the door behind them.

"It's probably going to be a few minutes before they stop singing," Spines said. "They do that every now and then."

"Yeah, my friends are the same way," Rainbow Dash said. "Thanks for helping me get out of there."

"No problem," Spines said. "I could see you wanted to leave. My name is Spines, by the way."

"I'm Rainbow Dash," Rainbow said.

"So...are you _really_ Rainbow Blitz turned into a colt?" Spines asked. "You look just like him!"

"No!" Rainbow Dash said. "I never even _heard_ of him until just now!"

"Huh," Spines said. "That's weird. Anyway, welcome to Ponyville! Any particular reason why you came here?"

"See, that's the weird thing," Rainbow Dash said. "I've lived in Ponyville my whole life, but nopony seems to recognize me. Plus, they've...changed."

"What do you mean?" Spines asked.

"I mean they...woah!" Rainbow Dash said, suddenly stopping at the sight of a tall farmer pony with a yoke around his neck.

"Howdy, Spines," the farmer said. "And howdy to you, too, ma'am."

"Uh..." Rainbow Dash said. Of all her friends, Applejack's colt version was the most different from the mare version that Rainbow was used to. Male Applejack was noticeably taller, and his hair was completely out of control. Applejack normally kept her pony tail in a ponytail, but this stallion let his short-cut tail run wild in all directions. It was rather attractive, come to think of it.

"Name's Applejack, from Sweet Apple Acres," Applejack said. "Not everyday that Ah see a couple a pretty ponies in town."

"AJ, you flatterer," Spines giggled, but Applejack ignored her. He only had eyes for Rainbow Dash.

"Ah ain't usually this forward, but what's yer name?" he asked.

"Ruh...Rainbow Dash," Rainbow said.

"Mighty fine name," Applejack said, tilting his hat towards her. "Now, if'n you'll fergive me, Ah gotta go meet mah friend Dusk Shine—somethin' about an emergency. Hope t'see yeh again, Miss Dash."

"Buh...bye," Rainbow Dash said weakly, her eyes following Applejack as he walked to the library.

Spines giggled as soon as Applejack was out of earshot. "Oh _ho!_" Spines said. "Looks like somepony has a crush!"

"What? No way!" Rainbow Dash said. "I don't have a crush on _him!_ That'd be weird!"

Spines looked confused. "I was talking about him having a crush on _you_," she said. "Did you see the way he looked at you?"

"I...I didn't notice," Rainbow Dash said. She had been too busy, noticing Applejack's athletic, muscular body, and his adorable tail, and his big green eyes, and—

_WOAH! STOP!_ Rainbow Dash thought. _You can't have a crush on the colt version of your friend! That's freaky! And besides, they have the same name!_

"Ugh, this is _so weird!_" Rainbow Dash said. "What is going _on_ here? What's happened to my friends?"

"What do you mean?" Spines asked.

Rainbow Dash looked at Spines, wondering if she could confide in this strange dragon. Back in Rainbow Dash's universe, Spike was her little buddy. But he wasn't Rainbow Dash's confidant, the pony she told all her secrets to. Rainbow Dash didn't really _have_ somepony she told her secrets to, mainly because she rarely kept secrets.

"It's just..." Rainbow Dash said. "Okay, this is going to sound really weird, but I've known Applejack for months."

"But you only met him for the first time, just now!" Spines said.

"That's the thing," Rainbow Dash said. "I know him...as a mare."

"Huh?"

"Where I come from, there's a mare called Applejack who works at Sweet Apple Acres," Rainbow Dash said.

"Really?" Spines asked. "That's weird coincidence."

"It's not a coincidence!" Rainbow Dash said, getting up in Spines' face. "They're the same pony! There's also a mare who runs the Carousel Boutique, and a mare who lives at the library, and a crazy pink party mare!"

"No way!" Spines said. "Where you're from, all my friends are _mares?_"

"Exactly!" Rainbow Dash said. "I know everypony thinks that _I_ turned into a mare, but as far as I'm concerned, they all turned into stallions!"

"But that's impossible!" Spines said.

"I think it may have something to do with the Double Sonic Rainboom I did today," Rainbow Dash said. "Everything was normal, until I did it. Then, everything got all topsy-turvy."

"Okay, look," Spines said, holding up her hands. "I don't know what exactly happened, either. Why don't you ask Dusk Shine for help? He's great at figuring out what's going on when weird stuff happens."

"Yeah, except for the fact that he's singing a song about how they're going to make me manly!" Rainbow Dash said. "Male Twilight isn't going to help me!"

"Wait, Male Twilight?" Spines asked. "Are you saying Dusk's mare name is _Twilight_?"

"Yeah, Twilight Sparkle," Rainbow Dash said. "That's the librarian in my Ponyville."

Spines was silent for a moment, then she burst into uncontrollable laughter and started rolling on the ground.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Spines and Rainbow Dash were sharing a booth at Sugarcube Corners. They were also sharing stories, as the two had become fast friends.

"What do you _mean_ you didn't go on the Great Dragon Migration?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Spike did!"

"Well, he must be braver than I am!" Spines said. "I'd love to know more about my parents, too, but not if it means having to deal with a crowd of angry teenage dragons. You know what they _do_ to girl dragons?"

"No," Rainbow Dash said.

"Me neither, but I'm sure it's bad!" Spines said. "I mean, from what you're saying, they made Spike do some nasty things."

"Yeah, true, but he made it through okay, so I'm sure you could have handled it," Rainbow Dash said.

Rainbow Dash wasn't too happy with some of the small details she heard about this world. In her opinion, it sounded like the stallion-run Equestia need a little gender equality. The stallions seemed to think that they were better than mares, which Dash knew for a fact was _not_ true.

A little jingle was heard throughout the store as the front door opened.

"_There_ you two are!" a voice said.

Rainbow and Spines looked towards the entrance of the store. The pink pony standing there trotted over to them. "Dusk Shine has been going crazy, looking for you!" he said. "Where'd you go?"

"We've been here, getting to know each other," Spines said. "No big deal."

"Yeah...we just wanted a little girl time," Rainbow Dash said, figuring she might as well play the gender card. "You know how it is, right, Pinkie Pie?"

_"Pinkie Pie?"_ the pink pony asked.

"Uh..." Rainbow Dash tried to remember the stallion Pinkie Pie's name. "Um...Bubbly Bouncer?"

The male Pinkie Pie started laughing. The noise sounded odd in Rainbow's ears. It was as fast-paced as Pinkie Pie's giggling, but it was much lower-pitched.

"I'm Bubble Berry, silly!" Bubble Berry said.

"Uh...sure," Rainbow Dash said. Personally, she thought Pinkie Pie was the better name. At least _she_ was pink. Bubble Berry didn't seem to have anything to do with bubbles or berries.

Bubble Berry stared at Rainbow Dash, then squinted at her. "So, everypony's wondering...are you a colt or a mare?"

"I'm a mare," Rainbow Dash said. "Duh."

"But...do you just _look_ like a mare, are you _actually_ a mare?" Bubble Berry pressed. "Like, a mare _all over_?"

"I'm a mare," Rainbow Dash repeated, in an angry voice. "And if you try to check, I will kill you."

"Woah, hey, I'm not that kind of stallion!" Bubble Berry protested. "I'm just curious, you know? I mean, you look _just like_ Rainbow Blitz! And I always suspected he likes pretending to be a mare, ever since that one time he wore a dress and sang 'Dance the Night Away' in front of all our friends."

Rainbow Dash and Spines let out exclamations of surprise. Needless to say, _nothing_ like that had ever happened in Dash's universe.

"Yeah, that was a _crazy_ party!" Bubble Berry said. "Although after that, the Cakes banned all alcohol from my parties. I know where they're coming from, but that's still harsh."

"_When_ was this again?" Spines asked. She didn't recall the Elements of Harmony having a drunken soiree.

"The Hoofball Championships, remember?" Bubble Berry asked. "Our team won, and Applejack brought out the hard liquor to celebrate!"

"Oh, yeah," Spines said. She hadn't been invited to watch the game, not that she wanted to go see some dumb sporting event, anyway. "Wasn't that the time Dusk Shine got in huge trouble for sending a drunken friendship report to Prince Solaris?"

Bubble Berry giggled again. "Totally!" he said. "I still have a copy of that! It's _hilarious!_"

Rainbow Dash shook her head. "I don't believe what I'm hearing," she said. "Nothing like that happened in _my_ Ponyville!"

"_Your_ Ponyville?" Bubble Berry asked. "What does _that_ mean?"

"It's a long story," Rainbow Dash said. "I tried to tell you guys earlier, but you weren't listening."

Bubble Berry shrugged, then got in the booth next to Rainbow Dash. "I'm listening now," he said. "So what's up, Pegasister?"

Bubble Berry squealed in happiness. He had been waiting three months to have an opportunity to use the term "pegasister". Now he finally got to say it in proper context! It was more fun than he thought it would be!

Rainbow Dash subconsciously spread out her wings, to put a little distance in between her and Bubble Berry. "It all started this afternoon, when I was practicing my new move..." she began.


	8. A Strange New World

Bubble Berry listened to Rainbow Dash's tale with rapt interest.

"Wow, it's like you're from another world!" he said. "So everypony switched genders, after you did the Double Sonic Rainboom?"

"Yes, but that doesn't make any sense!" Rainbow Dash said. "How could me pulling off the most awesome stunt ever cause everypony _else_ to switch genders?"

"I dunno," Bubble Berry said. "But nopony has ever done a _Double_ Sonic Rainboom before! Maybe that's one of the side effects of that move!"

"I doubt it," Rainbow Dash said.

"Hmmm..." Bubble Berry said, thinking. "You know, I'm going to guess that Dusk Shine is right. You're really our friend Rainbow Blitz, and when you did this special move, it turned you into a mare!"

"I told you already, that's not what happened!" Rainbow Dash said. "I don't remember being a stallion or anything else here, but I can remember the Mare World perfectly!"

"That's easy enough to understand," Bubble Berry said. "I think my good friend Dr. Bubble could explain that."

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Who's Dr. Bubble?" Spines asked.

"He's one of the characters I play as, when I watch the Cake babies!" Bubble Berry said. "They _love_ it when I pretend to be somepony else!"

Bubble Berry pulled out a pair of glasses, then put them on. Instantly, his hair deflated, and it fell down straight.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Bubble," Bubble Berry said, in a deep voice with a slightly Germane accent. "I am a professional psychologist, and I believe that when you switched genders, it was a tremendous emotional shock to your brain. You couldn't handle the stress of being a mare for the first time, so your subconscious created false memories in order to trick you into thinking you've always been a mare."

Rainbow Dash didn't know whether to be impressed or scared out of her mind by Bubble Berry's acting skills.

"There are two ponies living inside your head right now," Dr. Bubble explained. "Stallion Rainbow and Mare Rainbow. Mare Rainbow is in control right now, and she's trying her best to smother Stallion Rainbow into non-existence, even though she'll most likely destroy herself in the process!"

"Oh no!" Spines gasped. "What can we do, Doctor Bubble?"

"He's not a _real_ doctor," Rainbow Dash muttered.

"We...we...uh..." Bubble Berry said. He took off his glasses, and his hair poofed up back to normal. "I dunno!"

"Huh?" Spines asked.

"Sorry, but I only know how to diagnose mental illnesses!" Bubble Berry said. "I don't know how to cure them. Curing patients goes against the psychologist code!"

"Uh huh," Rainbow Dash said. At least Bubble Berry was acting like his normal self again. "How do _you_ know so much about psychology, anyway?"

Bubble Berry shrugged. "I've been sent to at least five different psychologists during my life," he said. "Apparently, a lot of ponies think I'm crazy, even though I'm not. I'm just Bubble Berry being Bubble Berry."

"Yeah, but what do we do about Rainbow Dash here?" Spines asked.

"Nothing!" Bubble Berry said. "It doesn't matter if Rainbow Dash is really a mare or a colt. She's my friend, so I'm going to love and accept her, just the way she is!"

"Aw..." Rainbow Dash said, as Bubble Berry nuzzled her affectionately. That was surprisingly sweet of him.

"I remember that letter," Spines said dryly.

"Huh? Letter?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yeah, Bubble Berry wrote that in one of his friendship reports," Spines said. "That was the time he—"

Bubble Berry coughed loudly. "Hey, Rainbow Dash doesn't need to hear about that, does she?" he asked. "No! Let's go get some cupcakes! Come on, my treat!"

Bubble Berry bounced into the kitchen, and Spines and Rainbow followed him.

"What'd he do?" Rainbow Dash whispered to Spines.

"He got a crush on Applejack's big sister," Spines whispered back. "Bubble tried to change her into a party pony like him, but it was a huge disaster."

It took a second for Rainbow Dash to translate the names. "Pinkie Pie had a crush on Big Macintosh? That's crazy!" she said.

"I heard that!" Bubble Berry said. "For the record, _she_ had a crush on _me! _She just never said so because she doesn't talk much!"

_Is it just me, or are all the ponies in this dimension a lot more obsessed with dating than the ones back home?_ Rainbow Dash wondered. _It must be because they're all colts._

* * *

Later on, Rainbow Dash went back to the library with Spines and Bubble Berry. With the help of Elusive, they managed to convince Dusk Shine to leave Rainbow Dash alone. The lavender-colored librarian didn't like this.

"This could be a major scientific discovery!" Dusk Shine complained. "You _have_ to let me study her!"

"I'm not a lab rat!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Please, just let me take a _few_ pictures of your new body parts!" Dusk Shine said. "Your eyelashes and mane are totally different now! The changes _must _be documented!"

"Now, now," Elusive said, trying to calm down his friend. "Try thinking about it from her point of view. Would _you_ want a stranger documenting your body?"

"Well...no," Dusk Shine said. "I guess you're right."

"Of course," Elusive said, nodding slightly. "One must always be a gentlecolt when dealing with a lady."

"Besides, I already told you that I'm _not_ your friend, turned into a mare," Rainbow Dash said. "I think I'd know if I switched genders."

"She has a point!" Bubble Berry said. "Besides, there are hardly any mares in town! Let's make her our friend and give her a big 'Welcome to Ponyville' Party!"

Dusk Shine scowled and stomped his hoof impatiently. "But that's not fair!" he said. "I've always wanted to know what it's like to be a mare, and you won't let me!"

Elusive raised an eyebrow at Dusk Shine. "You've..._always _wanted to know what being a mare is like?"

"...That came out wrong," Dusk Shine said.

"Are you _suuure?_" Spines asked. "'Cause I remember back in Canterlot, when—hey!"

Spines was interrupted when Dusk used his magic to pick her up and throw her to the side.

"Anyway, welcome to Ponyville!" Dusk said, quickly. "It's a great place to visit, and if you need anything, we'll be able to help you out! Right, guys?"

Bubble Berry and Elusive nodded. Applejack and Butterscotch probably would have nodded, too, but neither pony was there at the library.

"Thanks," Rainbow Dash said. "I _might_ need your help getting back home, but for now, I think I've got everything under control."

* * *

Rainbow Dash flew home, after that. It had been a very long day for her, and she needed to relax. Fortunately, her house key was right where she left it, so she had no trouble _getting_ inside; the trouble _was_ inside.

To put it bluntly, her house had...changed.

Rainbow Dash wasn't the cleanest pony around, but Rainbow Blitz had left the place a complete mess. Food and other things were thrown around everywhere, and it was a good thing Rainbow Dash could fly, because it would have been physically impossible for her to walk on the floor without stepping on something.

_Are those...dirty clothes?_ Rainbow Dash wondered, looking around. _Old gum wrappers? Photos of...I have no idea who she is._

Rainbow made her way to the bedroom, but she stopped to look at her Wonderbolts poster. Or at least, it _was_ a Wonderbolts poster. Now it was a poster for the Wondercolts.

It was weird seeing her heroes gender-swapped. Rainbow Dash usually didn't judge other ponies based off their appearances, but Soarin' looked really ugly as a mare. Spitfire, on the other hand, made a very attractive colt. His flame-colored mane looked good, short and spiky.

_This has been a weird, weird day,_ Rainbow Dash thought, as she went into her bedroom and fell asleep.

* * *

Rainbow Dash woke up late the next morning, as usual. She was feeling extremely woozy, and her body was still kind of exhausted from the Sonic Rainboom she did the day before.

Rainbow stumbled over to the bathroom, and she turned on the shower. Some ponies use coffee to help them wake up; Rainbow Dash liked to use cold water. As the water droplets hit her face, her brain started working again, and she remembered the disastrous day before.

She sighed. "I can't believe I'm in the colt world, or whatever you call it," she said. She shook her head, then reached a hoof out to the shampoo shelf.

Her hoof came back empty.

"Hey, where's my shampoo?" Rainbow Dash wondered. "This awesome hair doesn't take care of itself, you know!"

Rainbow Dash didn't care too much about her looks—her name wasn't _Vain_bow Dash, after all—but she liked to use a special shampoo which made her mane look a bit brighter. It highlighted the rainbow colors of her mane and made her look all the more impressive when she did her stunts.

Unfortunately, the only hair care product she could find was a bottle of body spray, which claimed that it would make even the wimpiest stallion smell manly.

"Ugh!" Rainbow Dash said.

She got out of the shower and cleaned herself off. As she went through the bathroom, it became obvious that Rainbow Blitz was not big on personal hygiene. Besides for an unused toothbrush with no toothpaste, the only thing he had on the counter was a six-pack of extra-strength deodorant, for the tough athlete who works up a real sweat. Shoved into the corner of the room was a tub of Dr. Smellgood's Cologne, guaranteed to make you impress on a date.

_I always wondered what cologne smells like,_ Rainbow Dash wondered. _It says here that mares are supposed to like the smell. _She unscrewed the lid, then took a deep sniff.

"AAAAUUUUUUU!" Rainbow Dash screamed, as the horrible stench attacked her brain and caused all her other senses to crash.

She ran out of bathroom at a gallop, and she tripped over a letter on the ground. Rubbing her nose and her head, she picked up the letter. It had arrived through dragon-mail, and it was written with small, curly letters.

Rainbow couldn't read the letter. She wasn't very good at reading cursive hoofwriting to begin with, and this letter was completely indecipherable. But at least she knew who the letter was from. She only knew one pony who wrote in extra-fancy cursive: Rarity. Or Elsuive, as they called him in this world.

"Guess I'll have to go see Rarilusive today," Rainbow Dash said. "Now where can I find food in this place?"

* * *

Rainbow Dash spent the morning working on her flying moves. Naturally, she wanted to try the Double Sonic Rainboom again, in hopes that it would send her back to the mare world. But doing Sonic Rainbooms is exhausting work, and she had to stop after two.

The first Sonic Rainboom was off by five yards, by no fault of Rainbow Dash's; it's hard to be precise when moving at supersonic speeds. The second Sonic Rainboom hit at an odd angle, so most of it went straight into the ground.

Rainbow stopped to take a water break after the second one. She went to the nearest trough, which was by the Apple Family barn.

"Howdy!" a male voice said.

"Hey, Big Macintosh," Rainbow said automatically. Then she looked up and saw the handsome stallion standing near her. "Uh, I mean, hello there, Applejack."

"Nice ta see you again, Miss Dash," Applejack said. "Ah was hopin' ta see yer pretty little face again."

"Uh...yeah, nice to see you, too," Rainbow Dash said. Her heart fluttered a bit at the compliment, but she tried to ignore it. "Have you, uh, heard from the others?"

"Eeeyup," he said. "Dusk Shine sent a letter just last night, sayin' that we all should treat you real nice, like one of th' family."

Applejack smiled at Dash. "Dunno why he bothered. Ah don't need to be told t'be nice to a fine lady like yerself."

_Is he flirting with me?_ Rainbow Dash wondered. _He's flirting with me. Oh my gosh, he's flirting with me._

"So I take it you _don't_ think I'm Rainbow Blitz, turned into a mare?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Eenope," Applejack said. "Not me. You said you ain't, and Ah believe yah."

"Really?"

"Ah had mah doubts, to be sure," Applejack said. "You look like him, and you even have the same Sonic Rainboom Cutie Mark. But after that performance just now, Ah can see that you deserve it."

Why was Stallion Applejack so attractive? It was unnerving. He had _no right_ to be so attractive. After all, Mare Applejack was considered one of the more plain-looking girls in town.

"Flying's not my thing, but you're a pretty interesting flyer," Applejack continued.

"You're pretty hot, too," Rainbow Dash blurted out.

Applejack looked like somepony slapped him. "Beg pardon?" he asked.

"Augh!" Rainbow Dash said. "I mean, _it's_ hot outside, which is why I stopped to get water, and..."

Applejack grinned at Rainbow Dash. He thought she was even cuter when she was embarrassed.

"I have to go now!" Rainbow Dash said. "Emergency! You know, emergency...somewhere else. Far away from here. BYE!"

Rainbow Dash flew away at a high speed, hoping the strong winds would knock some sense into her crazy head.

"Now that's one mare Ah wouldn't mind gettin' to know better," Applejack said to himself. "Too bad she looks like Blitz, though. He's gonna be _real_ mad at me if he finds out Ah like her."

* * *

Rainbow flew over town, and she stopped at the Carousel Boutique. Remembering that Elusive had sent her a letter that morning, she decided to go inside.

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash said, as she flew through an open window.

Elusive looked up from his worktable. He set down his tools and took off his work glasses. "Ah, thank you for coming, Miss Dash," he said.

"Uh, glad to be here," Rainbow said, looking around. The Carousel Boutique was extremely different from what she was used to. All the mannequins were male, and not a single dress was in sight. Instead, rows of tuxedos hung from the walls, along with a wide array of hats and horseshoes. "What exactly is this place, anyway?"

"Carousel Boutique is a tuxedo store," Elusive said. "It's my passion, but it doesn't make much money—most stallions prefer to rent tuxedos instead of buying them. So I run a few side businesses to keep this place afloat."

"Really?" Rainbow Dash asked. "What kind of side businesses?"

"Oh, alterations, clothing repair, escorting debutants to their debuts, that sort of thing," Elusive said.

"Debu—what?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"My services are often called upon as an official companion in society," Elusive explained. "Fortunately, I have a myriad of tuxes to help me dress the role."

"What?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Speak Equine!"

Elusive sighed. "I get paid to take mares out on fancy dates," he translated.

"_Oh..._" Rainbow Dash said. That made sense; Rarity was big on romance, and it was only fitting that Colt Rarity was equally interested in romance. "So you're a playcolt, huh?"

_"No!"_ Elusive said harshly. "I swear, everypony thinks I'm up to some kind of hanky-panky, just because my side-business is taking mares out on dates. I can assure you that I never do _anything_ inappropriate!"

"Calm down, I believe you," Rainbow Dash said. Then a thought occurred to her. "Wait, are you saying mares actually _pay_ you to date them?"

"Of course," Elusive said. "Mares can't ask stallions out on dates, you know. If they want a date, they have to pay for it."

"That's not how it works where _I'm_ from," Rainbow muttered. Stallion World seemed to be incredibly backwards, in some respects.

"But to be honest, I haven't had any mares pay for a date in months," Elusive said. "I had a...rather public and rather nasty episode with Princess Bluebelle, at the last Grand Galloping Gala. It destroyed my reputation as a nice colt to be with."

"Heh," Rainbow Dash said. She remembered the fight between Rarity and Prince Blueblood. "Anyway, why did you want to see me for?"

"Well, you're a mare, in a town filled with stallions," Elusive said. "This is a great opportunity for me. I can do something with you that I don't often get a chance to do."

"Uh..." Rainbow Dash said. She wasn't sure she liked where this conversation was headed.

"Make a dress!" Elusive said enthusiastically. He clapped his hooves together. "Please say you'll let me make you a dress! It'll be such a fun challenge! I haven't made a custom-made dress in _forever!_"

Rainbow Dash smiled. It seemed that some things were the same, no matter which dimension you were in.


	9. The Next Two Days

Rainbow Dash became somewhat used to life in the Stallion Universe. True, she really wanted to go back home and see her friends again. But since she was going to be stuck here for a week, there was no reason why she couldn't make friends with the ponies here.

Yes, she was going to be stuck here a week. At least, that's what Dusk Shine said.

"What do you mean, a _week?!_" Rainbow Dash asked. "Wonderbolts tryouts are in _two days!_"

Dusk shrugged. "I'm sorry, but unless you can duplicate the Double Sonic Rainboom, it's probably going to be a while."

"I can't spend all day doing Rainbooms!" Rainbow Dash said. "I gotta conserve my energy. Like I said, tryouts are in TWO DAYS! I can't miss them!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't do anything to speed up the process!" Dusk Shine said. "We don't know where you came from! That makes sending you back there really, really hard!"

"I told you, I came from Ponyville! The Mare Ponyville!" Rainbow Dash said.

"A Ponyville filled with mares..." Dusk Shine said wistfully. "Yes, Rainbow, I _do_ believe in Heaven, but getting you back there isn't going to be easy. I tried contacting a parallel universe yesterday, and it was sort of a huge failure."

Rainbow Dash had a vague idea of parallel universe theory, from reading the fifth Daring Do book. "Wait...you were messing around with parallel universes, the same day that I came here?" she asked.

"Well...yes..." Dusk Shine said. "And I know what you're thinking, but it's not my fault you're here! All I did was send a letter to the other universe. No living things went through the wormhole at all."

Rainbow Dash shook her head. "I don't get it," she said. "You opened a hole to another universe, so you could _send them a letter?_"

"I want to have an inter-dimensional pen pal!" Dusk Shine said. "Somepony who loves reading as much as I do! They could even send me new books, ones which only exist in their dimension!"

"Of all the ridiculous things..." Rainbow Dash.

* * *

Two hours later, Elusive hummed to himself, as he worked on Rainbow Dash's outfit.

_Snip by snip, putting it together...  
Make sure...uh...colors...matching...  
Something something...  
And that's the Art of the Dress..._

He didn't make dresses very often, so he wasn't quite sure how the song went. Fortunately, he was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Coming!" he said, putting his work down. He trotted to the door and opened it to see his friend Butterscotch.

"Hello there, Butterscotch," Elusive said. "I've been waiting for you."

"Hello," Butterscotch said. "Why'd you ask to see me?"

"I was hoping to help you," Elusive said.

"That's very generous of you," Butterscotch said. "But what do you want to help me with? Feeding my animals?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that," Elusive said. "I want to help with your shyness problem."

"Oh..." Butterscotch said. He immediately looked down and pawed the ground. "I...I'm sorry, I don't think that's a good idea."

Elusive's face fell. "You...you don't?"

"I've always been like this, and...and I like myself for who I am," Butterscotch said.

"I like you, too," Elusive said, reassuringly. "We all love you, Butterscotch, and we don't want you to change. No, I'm talking about a specific _type_ of shyness."

Butterscotch looked up, confused. "Specific type?" he asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Rainbow!" Elusive called out the window. Not long after, Rainbow Dash flew inside.

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash said. "We ready to rock and roll?"

"Eep!" Butterscotch said. He instinctively backed away. "What—what's _she_ doing here?"

"She's going to help me teach you how to deal with mares," Elusive said. "Won't this be _fun?_"

Rainbow Dash winked at Butterscotch, who was frozen with horror. "How's it going, stud?" she asked saucily.

Butterscotch screamed loudly, then ran out the door at top speed.

"Butterscotch, no!" Elusive called after him. "Come back!"

"Ha, told you it wouldn't work!" Rainbow Dash said. "Pay up, buddy!"

Elusive grumbled as he gave Rainbow Dash her five bits.

* * *

About an hour and a half before sundown, Applejack and his sister gathered near one of the fences. The two of them watched Rainbow Dash as she zipped around the sky, practicing her moves for the upcoming tryouts.

"Ah like her, y'know," Applejack commented.

"Eeeyup," said Applejack's big sister, Red Gala.

"She's _real_ amazing," Applejack said. "Ain't never seen a gal like her before."

"Eeeyup."

"Reckon Ah should ask her out sometime before she leaves town," Applejack said.

"Eeenope," Red Gala said.

"Whaddaya mean, nope?" Applejack asked.

"Bad idea," Red Gala said.

"Shucks, it ain't a bad idea!" Applejack said. "Just because she looks like the twin sister of mah friend doesn't mean that Ah—that Ah—she really _does_ look like Rainbow Blitz, doesn't she?"

"Eeeyup," Red Gala said. "Which means you oughta stay away from her. It's a bad idea to get involved with your best friend's doppleganger."

"Where'd you learn a fancy word like that?" Applejack asked. "You been hangin' out with that schoolteacher again?"

"Eeeyup."

"Figures," Applejack grumbled. "Anyway, Ah get the message. Ah'll keep mah distance from her. Ah can do that, right?"

"Eenope."

* * *

The following night, Rainbow Dash was given an official Bubble Berry "Welcome to Ponyville" Bash.

"Everypony new in town gets a Bubble Bash!" Bubble Berry said, excitedly. "You _have _to come!"

Rainbow Dash knew it'd be rude to ditch her own party, and besides, she wanted to see what the stallion version of a Pinkie Pie Party was. When she arrived at Sugarcube Corner, she was surprised to see it was jam-packed with ponies, except for a small dance area in a corner.

"Why'd you invite so many ponies?" Rainbow Dash asked Bubble Berry.

"I didn't!" he said. "I only invited about ten guests."

"There are at least forty ponies here," Rainbow Dash said. "It's kind of...full."

"Word got around that there was a new mare in town," Bubble Berry said. "I guess a lot of the stallions decided to invite themselves, so they could meet you."

Bubble Berry's guess wasn't too far from the mark. There was a bachelor party in town that night, and some of the ponies who couldn't go to that decided to go to Bubble Berry's party instead. Bubble's bashes were legendary, after all.

"Well, that stinks," Rainbow Dash said. "This place is way too crowded!"

"I agree," a voice said. "I don't like crowds."

Rainbow Dash turned her head to see the male Fluttershy, standing there. He looked uncomfortable and out-of-place with all the others there.

"Oh, it's you," Rainbow said. "Uh...Buttery Scratch."

"Butterscotch," Butterscotch said. "I...I kind of want to go home where it's quiet, but...everypony's blocking the exit..."

"Don't you know how to deal with big crowds, though?" Bubble Berry asked. "What did that minotaur say?"

Butterscotch smiled as he recalled those days he had become more aggressive. "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!" he said.

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash asked. There was a minotaur poet in the stallion world?

"It means I know how to push my way through a big crowd," Butterscotch said.

"If ponies are in your way, can't you just fly over them?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Oh," Butterscotch said. "I never thought of that."

"Well, _I _did," Rainbow Dash said, taking to the air. "I'm gonna hit the snack bar. Nice seeing you two!"

Rainbow Dash flew over to where the snacks were, and got herself some twisted pretzels. That was when she found the poster child for wallflowers, the male Twilight Sparkle.

"Hey, Twili—I mean, uh...Evening Glow," Rainbow Dash said. "How goes the research?"

"The name is Dusk Shine," Dusk said. "And it's not good. Rainbow Blitz still hasn't answered any of my letters since you appeared."

"I told you I have nothing to do with that," Rainbow Dash said.

"Yeah, I know," Dusk said. "I sent a letter about your situation to the Prince. He thinks he can help."

"Really?" Rainbow Dash asked. "What does Prince...uh...what does he say?"

"He says he'll contact somepony he knows, then get back to me," Dusk said. "When I tried asking for more information, his letter seemed kind of...evasive. Like he knows more than he's letting on."

"Did you try asking again?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yes, but..." Dusk Shine turned a little red. "All he did was make a joke. He said you'd help me find a marefriend."

"Yeah, you're not the only stallion who's said that," Rainbow Dash said, feeling discouraged. What was she supposed to be, a dating service? She had better things to do than help stallions find marefriends. Besides, the only unicorn mare who'd date Dusk Shine was probably the Great and Powerful Trixie.

Speaking of unicorns, a white unicorn stallion with a stylish purple mane squeezed his way through the crowd and almost stumbled in front of Dusk and Dash. He was wearing a purple tuxedo, with matching saddlebags.

"There you are!" Elusive said. "I've been looking all over for you!"

"Hey there, Hard-to-Find," Rainbow Dash said. "What's the saddlebags?"

"Elusive," Elusive said. "And I brought the outfit I designed for you! It's a nice little welcoming gift for our new friend."

"Ah, gee, you shouldn't have," Rainbow Dash said.

"No trouble at all," Elusive said, using his magic to pull the dress out of his saddlebags. "Here you go."

"Uh...yeah," Rainbow Dash said. The dress was covered in frilly lace, which was _not _Rainbow Dash's style. "I'll, uh, take it home with me."

"Put it on! Put it on!" Elusive said. "Everypony should see how marvelous you look!"

"I'm not really into dresses and things," Rainbow Dash said.

"She doesn't need to try it on right now," Dusk Shine said.

"Try what on?" Applejack asked, joining the conversation. Rainbow Dash gulped as she saw the handsome stallion.

"The dress I made for her," Elusive said.

"Shucks, Ah think she's pretty enough already," Applejack said. He eyed the dress. "Of course, she'd probably look nice in that."

Rainbow Dash looked into Applejack's big green eyes. The apple farmer smiled at her.

"I'll do it if you dance with me," Rainbow Dash said quickly.

"D-do it?!" Dusk Shine asked.

"Wear the dress, that is," Rainbow Dash said. "What do you say, AJ?"

"O-Of course!" Applejack said. He held out a hoof to Rainbow Dash. "Shall we?"

The two of them made their way to the dance corner, leaving a pair of confused unicorns behind them.

"...Looks like Applejack has a new marefriend," Dusk Shine commented.

"I don't understand," Elusive said. "_I'm_ the pony who got her a gift. Applejack didn't do anything for her!"

"Yeah, well, mares are weird," Dusk said.

"Tell me about it," Elusive said.

* * *

Rainbow Dash and Applejack went home together that night, walking side by side.

"Thanks fer walking with me to Sweet Apple Acres," Applejack said. "It's always nice to have company."

"No problem," Rainbow Dash said. She'd probably ruin her new dress this way, but she didn't care. "You're pretty cool. Uh, for a stallion, that is."

Applejack chuckled. "You're a real peach," he said. "And we apple farmers don't use the word 'peach' lightly."

Rainbow's heart fluttered, and she immediately cursed herself for getting all girly, over a guy. It wasn't like her to act this way, but she moved closer to Applejack and nuzzled him gently.

"This place is so weird," she said. "I swear, if it wasn't for you, I'd go crazy."

"Ah'm...glad to help," Applejack said. He gulped slightly. "Ah really like you, too. Life on the farm can be so dull and repetitive, but you bring a lot of color to mah life."

"Oh, Applejack..." Rainbow Dash said.

Applejack stopped walking and turned toward Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow...Ah...Ah l-l..."

"I know," Rainbow Dash said. She leaned forward to bring her lips to his. Rainbow Dash was no stranger to kissing, and judging by the way he responded, neither was Applejack. The two of them shared a three-second kiss, when Rainbow Dash's brain suddenly decided to join the party.

"Sorry I was ten minutes late," her brain said. "What'd I miss? Did you—oh my Celestia, _what are you doing?! _Kissing somepony without consulting me, _AGAIN?!_"

"AUGH!" Rainbow Dash screamed.

"Huh?" Applejack asked.

"I...I can't do this!" Rainbow Dash said, backing away. Her wings flared up. "I know somepony else named Applejack! She'd _kill_ me if she learned about this!"

"And Ah know somepony else named Rainbow," Applejack said. "Doesn't mean we can't be together."

"Together nothing!" Rainbow Dash said. "When the week is over, I'm _gone. _I'm never coming back here, and I'll never see any of you again!"

"Yer...yer leaving?" Applejack asked. "Ah...Ah'm sorry, I didn't know that."

Her heart was still pounding, and Rainbow Dash caught her breath. "So I can't start any relationships here," she said. "I...It's unfair to both of us, if I string you along."

"Ah...Ah understand," Applejack said. "Ah should...Ah should go."

Applejack ran off into the night, as fast as he could. Rainbow Dash screamed and hit the nearest tree, before leaving for her house.

* * *

The next day, Rainbow Dash sighed, as she thought about Applejack. She still had no idea _why_ she found him so irresistible. Sure, he was good-looking, but Rainbow Dash liked to think that she wasn't a shallow girl who would chase after any guy, as long as he was cute.

Besides, Rainbow Dash didn't think her female friend Applejack was attractive at all. The two Applejacks were pretty much the same. Why, then, could she not get Male Applejack out of her mind?

_Forget it,_ Rainbow Dash thought. _Applejack and the others are back in Ponyville. That's like a gazillion miles from here._

Rainbow Dash, of course, was in Cloudsdale's amphitheater. Being in Stallion Universe would not stop her from trying out for the Wonderbolts. Nothing short of a griffon invasion would stop Rainbow Dash from attending Wonderbolt Tryouts.

But now that Rainbow Dash had signed up, and she still had twenty minutes to kill before tryouts started, she was getting anxious.

_The tryouts are supposed to be ridiculously hard,_ Rainbow thought. _What if I ate too much food last night, and that'll slow me down? What if I was supposed to practice flying in formation with a team? What if I—_

"Hellooooo!" a regal voice said. "Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow Dash turned around in confusion. She was surprised to see a big balloon, sticking out of the clouds. The male versions of her friends were all inside.

"You...what are you doing here?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"We came here to support you, of course!" Dusk Shine said.

"Yeah, we're not going to let our friend compete without us to cheer for her!" Bubble Berry said.

"Um...I thought we came because you thought Rainbow Blitz would be here..." Butterscotch muttered.

"Shhh!" Dusk Shine said.

The friends all got out of the balloon and walked towards Rainbow Dash.

"Thanks, guys," Rainbow Dash said. "Since my _real_ friends can't be here, this means a lot."

Bubble Berry's face fell. "We're not real friends?" he asked.

"We are!" Rainbow Dash said. "I just meant, you know, my mare friends from my hometown."

"Where are you from, anyway?" Applejack asked.

"Uh...far away," Rainbow Dash said. "Far, far away. I just came here for the Wonderbolts tryouts."

"Why do you keep calling them 'the Wonderbolts', when they're the Wondercolts?" Elusive asked.

"They're the Wonder_colts?_" Rainbow Dash asked. "That's not fair to their female members! When I join, I'll have to convince them to change the name."

Dusk Shine laughed. "Well, we should get good seats," he said. "Good luck, Rainbow!"

The Elements of Harmony all wished Rainbow Dash well, before leaving. The last pony to leave was Applejack, and Rainbow Dash was sure that wasn't on purpose. There was a moment of silence, as Applejack looked at her. Finally, he tilted his hat and said, "Look, about that kiss last night—"

_Gah!_ Rainbow Dash thought.

"Look, AJ, we'll talk about that later, okay?" she asked. "I _really_ don't need any distractions right now."

Applejack snorted. He was a nice stallion, and he wanted to respect Rainbow Dash's wishes, but pretending nothing happened was a bit too much.

"Fine," he said in a gruff voice. "But Ah'll hold you to that promise. We _will_ talk about it."

Rainbow felt annoyed at his accusatory tone. "We _will_," she confirmed. "I'm not the kind of mare who kisses somepony and leaves him."

"Seems to me that's exactly what yer doing," Applejack said. He turned around so he didn't have to look at her. "Good luck with the tryouts, Miss Dash."


	10. A Major Failure and a Major Success

The first round of the Wondercolts Tryouts started with the dreaded obstacle course. Only six of the twenty applicants made it through the obstacle course successfully.

The pony in front of Rainbow Dash, who was the only other mare contestant, made it through the obstacle course without any mistakes, but she was a minute too slow.

"Next up, Rainbow Dash!" the announcer said.

The stallions from Ponyville cheered, as Rainbow Dash flew around the cones and through the cloud maze. The trickiest part was avoiding the moving clouds, but once she got past them, it was smooth sailing for her.

The rings brought her close to the stands. Unlike her male counterpart, Rainbow Dash was _not _distracted by the ponies in the stands; their cheering only made her more determined not to fail. She put on an extra burst of speed and zoomed to the finish area (which was also the starting area).

"How was that?" Rainbow Dash asked, taking off her official Wonderbolts flying goggles. She had brought them that day as a subtle hint to the testers.

"Perfect!" Fireball—that would be the male version of Spitfire—said. "_Better_ than perfect, even! That's the fastest speed so far! It's a new record!"

Rainbow felt a surge of pride. "So I made it, right?" she asked. "I passed the tryouts?"

Swift Glider laughed. "Easy there, tiger," she said. "Let's give the other ponies a turn at the obstacle course, okay?"

It turned out that there were seven more competitions, in addition to the obstacle course. The next competition was a race, testing out everypony's maximum speed. The competition after that tested out their ability to change speeds, without being thrown off course. The other rounds of the tryouts included things such as showing off stylish moves, doing formation flying, and an awesomeness contest which Rainbow Dash won with flying colors (literally).

At the end of the events, the three Wondercolts who were judging everything tallied up the various scores.

"Anypony make it over fifty points this time?" Fireball asked.

"Hmmm...looks like Flashy Skies got close, but he _completely_ failed the monster-fighting round," Swift Glider said. "Not good, if you ask me."

"Wait, what about the mare?" Fireball asked. "You know, Contestant number...s-s-sixty!"

"Sixty?" Swift asked. "We don't _have_ sixty contestants!"

"No, I mean, _look!_" Fireball said, slamming his hoof on the clipboard. "She scored sixty points!"

"Impossible!" Flying Tiger said. "That's pretty near perfect!"

"Well, looks like we found a winner," Fireball said.

* * *

In the stands, the pony friends were discussing the tryouts.

"It's taking them _forever!_" Rainbow Dash complained. "When are they going to announce the results?"

"It's only been ten minutes," Dusk Shine said.

"What if they didn't like me? What if they hated that backflip move I did?!" Rainbow Dash asked. "I could have sworn Spitfire scowled at me after that one!"

"You did really, really well, though," Butterscotch said. "I know _I _couldn't fly like that!"

"Yes, you were fabulous," Elusive said. The only part of Rainbow Dash's performance he _hadn't_ liked was Rainbow Dash's big victory dance after the speed races; that had been too uncouth for the gentlecolt's tastes. "I'm sure they'll accept you."

"Yeah, yer the best-lookin' flyer out there!" Applejack said. "Nopony else looks as good as you!"

"Sounds like somepony has a crush on Rainbow Dash!" Bubble Berry sang.

Applejack blushed, while Rainbow Dash decidedly looked the other way. This caused Elusive's romantic sensors to go haywire.

"I've been meaning to ask," Elusive said. "What happened after you two went home together last night?"

"They went _home together?!_" Butterscotch asked. He covered his mouth with his hooves. "Oh, my!"

"Eee...uh..." Applejack said. "Taint polite to say..."

Rainbow Dash was more direct. "None of your business, that's what happened!" she said.

"It is _too_ my business!" Elusive said. "If my friends are becoming romantically involved, I believe I should know about it!"

"Um...not to interrupt..." Butterscotch said softly. "But in romance novels, whenever a stallion takes a mare home at night, the two of them end up kissing passionately."

"Is that what happened?" Dusk Shine asked, getting excited. "What's it like to kiss a mare? You _have_ to tell me!"

Elusive coughed loudly and scowled at Dusk Shine.

"Uh, I mean, I agree with Elusive!" Dusk said. "You two can't date each other! (It's not fair to the single ponies like me.)"

"You know, if you're _that_ desperate for a date, you can always go out with Gummy!" Bubble Berry offered.

This whole time, Applejack was trying to hide under his hat. "Kin we _please_ talk about somethin' other than me kissing Rainbow Dash?" he asked.

"Aha!" Elusive said. "So you _did_ kiss her!"

"Ah didn't say that!" Applejack said. "Look, Ah appreciate yer concern, but please stay outta mah personal business!"

"Yeah, or I'll _make_ you stay out!" Rainbow Dash said threateningly. She gave a death glare to Elusive, who scowled.

"...Fine," Elusive said in a deep voice. He didn't think this was over—not by a long shot—but he was willing to drop the subject for now. "I'll respect your privacy."

"Good," Applejack said.

"Sounds great to me," Rainbow Dash said. "You can start _right now._ Come on, AJ, we're leaving."

"Eeeyup," Applejack said. Rainbow Dash flew away, and Applejack walked after her. The two of them didn't leave the amphitheater, but they got well out of earshot of their friends.

"How rude!" Elusive said. "I know they're our friends, but _my gosh!_"

"I wonder what they're talking about," Dusk Shine said.

"I bet they're going to make out," Bubble Berry observed.

Elusive, Butterscotch and Dusk Shine all let out cries of anguish at the pink pony's suggestion. Bubble Berry was fortunately incorrect in this case; all Applejack and Rainbow Dash did was reassess their relationship.

"Look, what happened back there with mah friends..." Applejack said. "Ya gotta understand, they're not usually like that."

"Pffff, no big deal," Rainbow Dash said, waving her hoof downwards. She was hovering in the air about three feet in front of Applejack. "I don't want to talk about that."

Applejack nodded. "What _do_ you want to talk about?" he asked. "Ah remember you promised we'd talk about last night."

Rainbow Dash sighed, then landed on the cloud grounds so she could be level with the rugged farmer. "Yeah, yeah," she said. "Last night. It was...uh...this is going to be hard to explain..."

"Ah kin go first, then," Applejack said. "Last night was...incredible, Ah'd say. You're a great mare, and you're also rull pretty, an' kissin' you...well, Ah guess it'd be a dream come true for anypony."

"AJ..." Rainbow Dash said. She both loved and hated his honesty, at that moment. "Don't make this harder than it already is. I told you, we can't be together."

"But why _not?_" Applejack asked. "Mah parents taught me that Ah shouldn't let anything get in the way of true love!"

"This isn't true love!" Rainbow Dash said. "It was just a kiss!"

"So it didn't mean anything to you!" Applejack said. "You think you can just kiss somepony, then walk away? Ah thought you were a better mare than that!"

"I...RRRRGH!" Rainbow Dash said. She felt like ripping her hair out. "Don't be an idiot! I really like you, too! If you were in my universe, I would _totally_ date you!"

"Yer universe?" Applejack asked, suddenly very confused.

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash said, taking a deep breath. "I'm from another universe, and I have to go back. That's why we can't be together."

Applejack stood still for a bit, as he processed this information. Then he spit on the ground and said a naughty word. "You expect me to _believe_ that?" he asked.

"It's the truth!" Rainbow Dash said.

"That is the worst excuse Ah have _ever_ heard!" Applejack said, getting angry. "Another universe? You think Ah'm an idiot, just because Ah work on a farm?"

"No no _no!_" Rainbow Dash said. "I swear to Celestia, I'm not lying! I'm from another universe! Ask Twilight if you don't believe me!"

"Ah see how it is now," Applejack said. "You were just _usin'_ me, this whole time! Ah guess Ah should count mah lucky stars it didn't get no further than kissing!"

"I wasn't using you!" Rainbow Dash said. "I really _do _care about you, but multi-dimensional relationships never work!"

Applejack turned around and kicked Rainbow Dash in the face, as hard as he could. Bucking apple trees had given him plenty of practice in the area of kicking things.

"Don't _ever_ talk to me again!" Applejack threatened. He trotted off angrily, leaving Rainbow Dash to rub her aching eyes.

"...I guess that's _one_ way to solve the Applejack problem," Rainbow Dash said bitterly. "Why do I have such bad luck with stallions?"

* * *

Rainbow Dash's plan was to return home, with the help of Dusk Shine's magic. She had no way of knowing that back in the mare universe, her friends had their own plan to get Rainbow Dash back.

"Please, follow me," Princess Celestia said, as she led the ponies through the castle. Twilight Sparkle and her friends followed the tall white alicorn down a large hallway.

"Where are we going?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Beats me," Rainbow Blitz said. The sporty stallion was also with the group. "I'm just glad I'm no longer a prisoner."

"My apologies for that," Celestia said. "You couldn't be trusted, until I knew for sure who you were."

"I...guess that makes sense," Rainbow Blitz said. He disagreed about his false arrest, but he wasn't dumb enough to mention that in front of the princess. "Hey, no harm, no foul, right?"

"I am glad you feel that way," Celestia said. She stopped in front of a door, then used her magic to open it. "Here we are."

All the ponies entered the room, which had been cleared of all items, except for a large, ornate mirror, standing near the far wall.

"What's with the mirror?" Rainbow Blitz asked.

"Why don't you try it out and see?" Princess Celestia said cryptically.

Rainbow Blitz shrugged, then walked up to the mirror. When he got close, he was surprised to see a pony other than himself in the mirror's reflection.

"It's a mare!" he said. "It's...is that the Rainbow Dash mare you all keep talking about?"

"What? Let me see!" Twilight said, trotting up and shoving Rainbow Blitz aside. She looked at the reflection. "That's not a mare; it's a colt."

"Two of them, it seems," Applejack said, peering over Twilight's shoulder. She turned her head to look at Princess Celestia. "This ain't a normal mirror, is it?"

"No, it is not," Princess Celestia said. "This mirror is connected to another mirror, in the Stallion Universe."

"So...the purple colt in the mirror...that's _me?_" Twilight asked.

"In that universe, yes," Princess Celestia said. "Anypony can look into the mirror and they'll see what they look like, as a member of the opposite gender."

"Ah gotta admit, this is pretty freaky," Applejack said, looking at her male reflection. "Kinda looks like a cross between and Big Mac, 'cept with messier hair."

"Let me try! Let me try!" Pinkie Pie demanded. She jumped to the right of Applejack and started making silly faces at the mirror. Her reflection made the exact same faces, right back at her.

"This is very interesting," Twilight Sparkle said. "But how does this help us find Rainbow Dash?"

Princess Celestia laughed slightly. "Patience, my little pony," she said. "The mirror has other uses, if you know how to operate it correctly."

Princess Celestia stepped towards the mirror, her horn giving off a soft magical glow. The top of the mirror turned purple.

"Oh, Prince Solaris?" Celestia said. "Are you there?"

The ponies stepped out the way and watched in awe as Celestia's male reflection came into view. He looked identical to the Princess, except his build was more athletic, and his flowing mane was made of reddish hues. He smiled at her warmly.

"Celestia, good to see you again," he said. "And good to finally meet your Elements of Harmony."

"Prince Solaris!" Rainbow Blitz said, flying above the other ponies to get a good view. "Am I ever glad to see you!"

"The feeling is mutual, Rainbow Blitz," Solaris said. "Your friends at home have been _very_ worried about you. I hope we can fix this situation as soon as possible."

Blitz let out a huge sigh of relief.

"I'm sure there is nothing to worry about," Princess Celestia said. "My friends have proven themselves to be very capable heroes. If anypony can save Rainbow Dash, they can."

The five mares blushed with pride and embarrassment, as Prince Solaris laughed. "I'm sure they _can!_" he said. "Mares are often more capable than colts give them credit for! So, then, let's not waste any more time. Which two are coming here?"

"That would be myself and Pinkie Pie," Rarity said, stepping forward.

"Hi!" Pinkie Pie said. "I'm the pink one!"

"Excellent," Prince Solaris said. "Let us begin."

Prince Solaris and Princess Celestia began casting a magic spell at the same time. While this happened, the ponies began to load up Rarity and Pinkie Pie with some gear.

"That should be enough food to last fer a week," Applejack said. "Course, we hope it won't take you that long."

"I brought some extra bits, in case you need them for something," Fluttershy said.

"And if you ever get in _any_ trouble, use this," Twilight said, holding up a small pouch. "It's got a TDSL inside."

"A _what?_" Pinkie Pie asked.

"A TDSL is...well, it's like a magic distress signal," Twilight explained. "It will allow me to locate you, no matter where you are. That way, I can bring you back to our universe, in case of an emergency."

Pinkie nodded, while Rarity looked a bit unhappy. Being a unicorn, she knew about magic, and therefore, she could see the problem with Twilight's explanation.

"Twilight, I know you're good at magic," Rarity said. "But a spell like that would be impossibly complicated."

"Er...well..." Twilight said. "There will probably be a twenty minute delay between you sending me the signal, and me bringing you back here. Much longer, if it happens while I'm sleeping or something. But hey, it's better than nothing, right?"

"Of course," Rarity said, adding the pouch to her saddlebag. "Thank you very much."

"There are three TDSLs," Twilight said. "One for both of you, and one for Rainbow Dash. Just smash it against the ground to activate it, if you think you're in danger."

"They _should_ be safe," Rainbow Blitz said. "I can't imagine anything bad happening to them while they're under Prince Solaris' protection."

"Are you ready?" Princess Celestia asked. Her magic spell was affecting the entire mirror now, causing it to glow purple. "If you are, simply walk through this mirror to travel to the Stallion Universe."

"I'm ready!" Rarity said, sounding braver than she felt. She adjusted her saddlebags and marched through.

"Me, too!" Pinkie Pie said, bouncing after her friend. Both of them completely disappeared into the portal-mirror.

"Are you _sure_ I can't go?" Rainbow Blitz asked. "I mean, if the mirror leads to my home—"

"The goal is not just to get you back home," Princess Celestia said. "We need to switch you with Rainbow Dash, and more importantly, we need to know _how_ you two were switched in the first place. That way, we can ensure it will never happen again."

"I guess," Rainbow Blitz said grumpily. He folded his wings up and sat down on the ground as Celestia stopped performing her spell. The mirror quickly returned to normal.

* * *

In the Stallion Universe, Rainbow Dash glumly walked back to the booth where her friends had been. Only Dusk Shine and Bubble Berry were still there.

"Where are the others?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"They left with Applejack," Dusk Shine said. "He, um, told us what you said."

"Great," Rainbow Dash said, flopping onto the ground. "What exactly did he say?"

"That you're a crazy psycho who seduced him and made up weird stories to cover for it!" Bubble Berry said. "Just like my ex-marefriend!"

"I think you sprang the whole 'I'm from a different universe' thing on him a bit too soon," Dusk Shine said.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Rainbow Dash said. She sighed. "You two are still here, so that means you believe me, right?"

"Uh huh!" Bubble Berry said. "I already knew you were from the Mare Universe! You told me so!"

"If Prince Solaris trusts you, then so do I," Dusk Shine said. "Besides, it looks like Applejack really did a number on you."

"Yeah, I'll have to wear goggles all the time now," Rainbow Dash said, unconsciously rubbing one of her black eyes. She pulled out her Wonderbolts goggles and tried to put them on, but it hurt too much.

The PA system came to life, not much longer after that. In the main part of the amphitheater, Fireball tapped the microphone.

"Hello, can everypony hear me?" Fireball asked. "We have the results of the tryouts."

"Oh my gosh, I almost forgot!" Rainbow Dash asked. "Please tell me that I won! Please please _please!_"

"We would like to thank everypony for competing," Fireball said. "We'd love to accept all of you, but there isn't that much room on our staff. Therefore, we can only offer invitations to Crimson Star and Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow Dash's recent problems were immediately forgotten. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Rainbow Dash said. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

"Congratulations!" Dusk Shine said.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Rainbow Dash said. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

"...I think she's broken," Bubble Berry said. He reached out a hoof and slapped Rainbow Dash across the face.

She screamed in delight. "_I just passed! I'm in the Wonderbolts!"_

"Not to spoil your fun, but you can't join," Dusk Shine said. "You're going home as soon as I can find the right spell."

"Who cares?" Rainbow Dash shouted. "They're the WONDERBOLTS! _Nothing_ can ruin this day for me!"


	11. The Perfect Stallion

Prince Solaris and his brother, Prince Artemis, were looking into a large, impressive mirror. The mirror frame was rather imposing, with golden gilded edges. The mirror itself was glowing purple, and it seemed to vibrate as two mares stepped out from the inside.

"I am Prince Solaris," said the taller of the two stallions. He had a flowing mane, made up of reddish hues. "This is my brother, Prince Artemis. You two must be Rarity and Pinkie Pie."

"We've been waiting for you," Prince Artemis said. Prince Artemis had a short-cut, dark blue mane and a stern-looking face decorated with a large and fanciful mustache.

"Thank you," Rarity said graciously, bowing to them. "It is an honor to meet your royal highnesses."

Pinkie Pie was much less formal. She shook her head to let her hair loose and said, "So, this is Stallion World, huh? You two must be the Princesses! You're Celestia, and you're Luna!"

Solaris smiled at the pink pony. "You must be the female Bubble Berry. Welcome to the Stallion Universe."

"Nice mustache," Pinkie Pie said to Artemis. "It's all flowy and cool and stuff!"

"Pinkie!" Rarity snapped. Then she chuckled nervously. "Er, Pinkie, dear, shouldn't we be a bit more polite when addressing royalty?"

"Oh, right!" Pinkie Pie said. "Nice mustache, _sir!_"

Artemis smiled. "Our counterparts have already informed of us of your situation," he said. "Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Blitz got switched somehow, is that right?"

"Exactly," Rarity said. "We have come here to find her and bring her back home."

"The good news is, that shouldn't be too difficult," Prince Solaris said. "Based on the letter I received from Dusk Shine, your friend Rainbow Dash is in Ponyville. I took the liberty of arranging two tickets for you on the Friendship Express."

"Thank you very much," Rarity said, bowing again.

"Dusk Shine is Dude Twilight, right?" Pinkie Pie asked. "I can't wait to meet him! I bet he's crazy!"

Solaris smiled. He had purposely _not_ told Dusk Shine that the two mares were coming, just to make things more interesting. Prince Solaris liked to liven things up a little, sometimes. In fact, the prince's playful streak led some ponies to nickname him "Prince Trollaris".

"It's fun meeting new ponies!" Pinkie Pie continued. "Meeting you two is super fun! There are almost _no_ princes in our world, except for Prince Blueblood, who's a meanie-weanie, so he doesn't count!"

"Princess Blueblood?" Artemis asked.

"I believe she is referring to Princess Bluebelle," Solaris said. "Surely, you remember the Gala incident?"

"How could I forget?" Artemis asked. "She tried to sue Elusive for attempted murder, by means of cake."

Pinkie gasped. "Ohmygosh, we _have_ to meet Girl Prince Blueblood!" she said. "Do you think she's still stuck-up? I bet being a mare has mellowed her out some. And I want to meet Guy Cadance and Girl Shining Armor, and—"

"We would be happy to give you a tour of our wonderful kingdom," Prince Artemis interrupted. "But alas, time runs short; the royal bedtime is swift approaching. Perhaps after you finish with your mission."

"Er...right," Rarity said. "In that case, we should probably catch the train before it leaves the station. Right, Pinkie?"

"Sure!" Pinkie Pie said.

Rarity bowed again to Solaris and Artemis, prompting Pinkie Pie to ask, "Why are you bowing so much? They're not _our_ Princes!". But Pinkie Pie bowed goodbye to the Royal Brothers, too, after Rarity discreetly elbowed Pinkie in her tummy.

Rarity strode purposefully towards the exit, while Pinkie happily bounced around. She started making a mental list of all the ponies she wanted to meet in this new universe—it was basically a list of every pony she knew, except her family members. She wasn't sure if she could handle seeing her sisters as colts.

The two princes exchanged a knowing look as the mares left the hall. Once they were along, Artemis spoke.

"Is it just me, or is Bubble Berry a lot more tolerable as a mare?" Prince Artemis asked. He half-laughed. "I _told_ you that you that mares dig my stache."

Prince Solaris groaned. "You look _ridiculous_," he complained.

"You're just jealous because you can only grow a beard, not a mustache," Artemis gloated.

"You did _not_ just go there!" Prince Solaris said. "Don't make me challenge you to a beard-off!"

* * *

A very pleased Rainbow Dash trotted towards her two friends.

"Mfhim miofficul wommumul smemmul," Rainbow Dash said.

"We can't understand you," Bubble Berry said.

Rainbow Dash spit the piece of paper out of her mouth and on the ground. "This is my official Wonderbolts schedule," she said. "They want me to _train with them!_"

"But...we're sending you home in a week," Dusk Shine said, reading the paper. "You can't possibly attend any of these training sessions."

"Well, yeah, but maybe the other Wonderbolts will accept this!" Rainbow Dash said. "Does it matter? I'm in _the Wonderbolts!_"

"That's Wonder_colts_, and this says you're just a temporary junior member, pending another full tryout six months from now," Dusk said.

"Do you _have_ to try to ruin this for me, Twilight?!" Rainbow Dash snapped. "I mean, uh, Dusky Shores."

"I'm just trying to be reasonable here!" Dusk Shine said. "_Somepony_ has to! Not everypony can go around kissing whoever they want!"

Bubble Berry put a comforting hoof on Dusk Shine's shoulder. "It's okay, bro," Bubble said. "You'll get your first kiss someday. I promise."

"AUGH!" Dusk Shine screamed. "That—that's not important right now! We're talking about Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow Dash snorted. "Relax, Dusk Light, everything will be fine," she said, in a slightly patronizing tone. "I'll be a good girl from now on, and I won't get into any trouble at all."

"Great!" Dusk Shine said happily. "That's why I think you should move in with me."

_"What?"_ Rainbow Dash asked. Bubble Berry just looked confused.

"You know, so you don't get into trouble!" Dusk Shine said. "You should stay inside, at my house, for the rest of your time here. That way you won't accidentally mess up our universe."

"And how exactly do you think I'm 'messing up' your universe, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Are you saying I'm a screw-up?"

Dusk Shine tapped the Wondercolts schedule with his hoof. "This, for example," he said. "Your acceptance letter shouldn't exist in this universe, because _you_ shouldn't exist here. What if your actions cause the Wonderbolts to go out of existence?"

"That would _never_ happen!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Maybe, but a lot of other things _could_ happen," Dusk Shine said. "You could throw off the weather patterns while flying, or you could accidentally break the mayor's leg, or..."

"You could break Applejack's heart!" Bubble Berry said.

Rainbow Dash glared at her pink friend.

"Sorry," Bubble Berry said, his ears flattening on his head as he looked down. "I was just trying to help."

"The point is, it's probably safer if you do as little as possible," Dusk Shine said. "Considering what happened with Applejack...I just don't want anything bad to happen. You understand, right?"

Rainbow Dash sighed. Dusk Shine looked so hopeful as he smiled at her that she didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"Look, I'm a grown mare," Rainbow Dash said. "I don't need a foal-sitter. I'll keep a low profile, but I won't stay inside somepony's house for the next seven days. That's boring!"

"Yeah, boring is _boring!_" Bubble Berry said. "You know what we should do? We should throw Rainbow Dash a _party_ for getting into the Wondercolts! That's not boring at all!"

"No!" Dusk Shine said. "That's the exact _opposite_ of keeping a low profile!"

"Not if we only invite celebrities!" Bubble Berry said. "Then it'd be a _high profile_ event!"

Dusk Shine let out a frustrated sigh. "Bubble, that's not what that phrase means!"

"Hey, I have an idea," Rainbow Dash said. "Why don't I celebrate here in Cloudsdale? That way I won't accidentally destroy the timeline, or whatever has you so worried."

"That's not what—do you two understand _anything_ I'm talking about?!" Dusk Shine snapped.

"Of course!" Bubble Berry said. "You're saying that we should party here, instead of home! I've always wanted to go to an authentic pegasus party! Let's go!"

"Ugh," Dusk Shine sighed, as he walked after the bouncing Bubble Berry and the flying Rainbow Dash. He had a feeling that it would be necessary to keep a close eye on those two.

* * *

An hour or so later, Rarity and Pinkie Pie arrived at the Ponyville Train Station. The two of them left the train together. Rarity was giggling and bouncing around more than Pinkie Pie, which caused some of the stallions to glance curiously at the two giddy mares.

"Uh...are you okay?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"I'm _better_ than okay!" Rarity said. "I'm _fantastic!_ Just look around!"

Pinkie looked around. There were about five stallions who could be seen, from the area outside the train station. She thought that she recognized all of them from their female counterparts—she had to guess with two of them—but that didn't explain Rarity's behavior.

"All I see are some stallions," Pinkie Pie said, scratching her head.

"Exactly! There are stallions everywhere!" Rarity giggled in an unladlylike manner. "And we could be here for days! This is a great opportunity!"

"Opportunity?" Pinkie asked. "What are you talking about?"

"This is our chance to find the perfect stallion!" Rarity said.

"The _what?_" Pinkie asked. Her eyes bulged out.

Rarity began to sing.

_Pinkie, we are sweet and kind,  
The best mares that one could hope for.  
The perfect stallion we must find  
One to make our hearts soar..._

"Hey, wait a second!" Pinkie Pie said. "I know that song! Your sister Sweetie Belle sang it on Hearts and Hooves Day!"

"Who do you think taught her that song?" Rarity asked. "Me, of course!"

"Yeah, but we're not here to find coltfriends!" Pinkie said. "We're here to find our lost friend, Rainbow Dash!"

"There's no reason why we can't do both," Rarity said. "Hey, is that Berry Punch? Wow, he needs a mane cut."

"Rarity..." Pinkie Pie said. Pinkie liked being a silly pony, but there were times when she could be a responsible adult, such as when she watched over the Cake babies. It was starting to look like Pinkie would have to pull from her inner reserves of maturity again. "You're not going to go colt-crazy again, are you? Remember the disaster you had, last Hearts and Hooves Day?"

"Uh huh, sure," Rarity said, not paying attention. She continued the song, singing loudly to herself. Her lyrics were a bit more...generous than Sweetie Belle's.

_He has cute hair. He has nice eyes  
Look at all the wonderful guys  
__They're big, they're strong, they're smart, they're kind,  
__I can't get these handsome ones off my mind..._

"Uh..." Pinkie Pie said. Most of stallions were now openly staring at Rarity and Pinkie Pie. That tends to happen when you go out in public, then sing and dance about how attractive everyone is. Pinkie tried to bring her friend back to Earth.

_Rarity, we're getting stares_, Pinkie sang.  
_They're not used to singing mares..._

Rarity twirled around on her hind legs, and finished by pointing at the most attractive stallion in the area.

_See that unicorn! What a dashing suit!  
An elegant mane and tail to boot!  
Where did he get such a fine outfit?_

The stallion chuckled at Rarity's enthusiasm, then finished the verse for her. _Why, this old thing? I made it._

Rarity gasped. "You're a fashion designer?!"

"In a manner of speaking," the marshmallow-colored stallion said. "My name is Elusive. I run a tuxedo store, but I dabble in my own creations from time to time."

"Oh, I simply _adore_ fashion!" Rarity said. "You simply _must_ show me some of your designs!"

"I would be honored to, my good lady," Elusive said. He smiled at the beautiful mare in front of him. "As long as you promise to tell me how you style your mane so perfectly!"

"I shall!" Rarity said. "I can already tell that we will have a _lot _to talk about! And please, call me Rarity."

"You certainly _are_ a rarity..." Elusive said softly, admiring her eyelashes. "I don't think I've ever met a mare quite as cultured as you."

Pinkie Pie gagged. The two unicorns, who had been lost in each other's eyes, looked up at the noise.

"Is something the matter, dear?" Rarity asked.

"Yes, actually, there—" Pinkie began.

"We'll finish the song later," Rarity said, with a dismissive wave of her hoof. "Go find something to amuse yourself, okay? Right now, Elusive and I are talking."

"Indeed," Elusive said.

Pinkie Pie could tell she wasn't wanted. She sighed and turned to the right, where she almost ran straight into a stallion.

"Eeek!" the stallion said, falling over his hooves in an attempt to back away.

"Oh!" Pinkie Pie said. "I didn't notice you!"

Pinkie smiled in a friendly way to show that she wasn't upset, but her efforts didn't seem to placate the butter-yellow pegasus she had run into. He scrunched himself into a small ball, and he tried to hide behind his pink hair.

"Hey, I know you!" Pinkie Pie said. "You must be Flutterguy!"

"Flutterwhat?" Butterscotch said. "I'm...I'm buttersc..."

"What?" Pinkie Pie asked. She leaned in to hear better.

"Buttsch..." Butterscotch mumbled.

"I can't hear you!" Pinkie Pie said in a singsong voice. She stepped closer to Butterscotch, until she was about four inches away from his mouth.

The shy pony threw his head upwards. "Please don't get any closer!" he said loudly.

"Now I can hear you just fine!" Pinkie Pie said. "I bet you like animals, don't you?"

Butterscotch let out a breath, then nodded. "Taking care of animals is my special talent," he said softly.

"Making friends with new ponies is _my_ special talent!" Pinkie Pie said. She held out her hoof. "I'm Pinkie Pie! Who are you?"

Butterscotch eyed Pinkie's hoof for a second, before shaking it. "I'm Butterscotch," he said, at a normal volume level.

"Really? I thought I was the only pony who was named after the color of their coat!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Me too," Butterscotch said. "And...um...I've never met a mare with a pink mane like mine before..."

"Did you hear that the mayor dyes her mane?" Pinkie Pie asked. "I don't believe it! Dyeing her pink mane to _gray?_ She should have pink pride!"

Butterscotch laughed gently. "Mayor Mustang isn't a mare," he said.

"Oh, right..." Pinkie Pie said. "I was thinking of _my_ mayor."

"You don't live in Ponyville?" Butterscotch asked.

"My friend and I are from...somewhere else," Pinkie Pie said.

"Oh, me too!" Butterscotch said. "Um, not exactly, though...I mean, I live in Ponyville, but I'm not _from_ here originally..."

"You're from Cloudsdale, right?" Pinkie Pie asked. "I visited there the other day, and—"

"Fiiiiin-ished!" a voice sang. "Pinkie, let's go!"

Pinkie turned to see a _very_ satisfied-looking Rarity. Rarity was now wearing a giant hat of her own design, which she had pulled out of her saddlebag to show Elusive. Rarity gestured for Pinkie to come over to her.

"Gotta go!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Uhm...but..." Butterscotch said. "I don't want...I mean, if it's okay with you...I'd like to talk some more..."

"Don't worry, we'll see each other later!" Pinkie Pie said. She gave Butterscotch a big smile, which seemed to put him at ease. As she bounced away, Butterscotch watched her and smiled happily.

"_That_ was a very successful meeting," Rarity said. "I _knew_ coming to Stallion World was a great idea! I have..._a date tonight!_"

Rarity giggled, while Pinkie facehoofed. "Don't you know who that stallion _is?_"

"Of course!" Rarity said. "He's _The Perfect Stallion_, just like in the song!"

"I love singing, but that's not—" Pinkie Pie began to say.

Rarity interrupted Pinkie Pie, by clearing her throat loudly. In a regal tone, she sang the conclusion to her song. _He's the perfect stallion, whose heart is true..._

_"But Rarity, that stallion's YOU!"_ Pinkie finished.

Rarity stopped dead in her tracks. "Wh-wh-wh-WHAAAAAT?" she asked.

"That stallion was obviously the male version of you," Pinkie Pie said.

"He is...he is _not!_" Rarity said, her face getting hot.

"You're both white unicorns with purple manes," Pinkie said. "And I think he had a diamond cutie mark, too."

"That—that's mere coincidence!" Rarity said. "We just happen to look alike!"

"Nuh-uh!" Pinkie Pie said. "You have a date with yourself! You two are almost the exact same!"

"Preposterous!" Rarity said. "I admit that Elusive and I have a good deal in common, but there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, that's why he's the perfect stallion for me! You can hardly expect me to like somepony who's completely different from me!"

"Yeah, but he's not completely _different_. He's completely _alike_," Pinkie Pie said. "Even your names are similar."

"Enough," Rarity said. "I refuse to brook any argument about this. Elusive could be my special somepony, and I won't have you slandering him with lies. Besides, the thought of meeting our male counterparts in this world is...*shudder*...unpleasant."

"Really?" Pinkie Pie asked. "You don't want to meet the colt copies of us?"

"Not at all," Rarity said, shaking her head. "On a scale of one to weird, seeing my friends as stallions would probably rate an 'unbearably disturbing.' Meeting Rainbow Blitz was _more_ than enough for me, thank you."

"But I met the colt Fluttershy, and that wasn't bad!" Pinkie Pie said. "He seemed pretty normal!"

"Wa-wait!" Rarity said. She tried to recall the stallion she had seen for a few seconds. "That stallion you were talking with was _Fluttershy?_"

"Yep!" Pinkie Pie said. "Everypony here calls him 'Butterscotch', though!"

"Oh...oh, dear," Rarity said. Suddenly, being in Stallion Universe didn't seem like a fun adventure anymore.


	12. Party at Elusive's

The door to the Ponyville Library slammed open, as Butterscotch ran in. "Dusk!" he cried. "Duuuusk!"

"Woah!" Spines said. She fell over from the place where she had been sitting. Getting up, she said, "Easy, Butterscotch, Dusk is in the back. I'll go get him for you."

"I'm coming!" Dusk Shine called from the other room. He opened the door to the main room and said, "I swear, AJ, you're so loud I can hear—_Butterscotch? _Was that _you?_"

Butterscotch looked at the ground and kicked it. "Um...sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to be loud."

"That's okay," Dusk said. It wasn't very often that Butterscotch got this excited. "What's up?"

"I met a mare!" Butterscotch said. "She was so nice and kind to me! I think she could be my special somepony!"

"Awww..." Spines said. "That's sweet! You deserve a nice marefriend, too!"

"I agree; congratulations!" Dusk Shine said. "What's her name?"

"Pinkie Pie," Butterscotch said. "When we talked, it felt like we've known each other for months! And she was smiling the whole time! She _likes_ me!"

"I don't think I know anypony named Pinkie Pie," Dusk said. "You'll have to introduce us sometime."

"How did you meet her?" Spines asked.

"It was by accident," Butterscotch said. "And, um, that's why I came to see you. Idunotamars..."

"Excuse me?" Dusk Shine asked.

"_I don't know how to talk to mares!"_ Butterscotch said. "You've gotta help me!"

Spines started chuckling like crazy. "You have mare problems, and you came to _Dusk_ for advice? Ha ha ha!"

"Quiet, you," Dusk Shine said, with a disapproving glance. He turned his attention back towards his yellow friend. "Butterscotch, what do you _mean_ you can't talk to mares? You can talk to Spines just fine. Right?"

"Spines doesn't count, because she's a baby," Butterscotch said. "Pinkie Pie is a full, _adult_ mare! _What do I say to her?_"

Spines scowled and put her hands on her hips. She was getting a little tired of always being called a _baby_ dragon. If she was grown-up, she bet the handsome stallion Elusive would pay more attention to her.

"Okay, I agree that mares are scary," Dusk Shine said. "Maybe you could find a mare to practice talking to. I bet Rainbow Dash or Applejack's sister—"

Butterscotch looked up. "Rainbow Dash is still here?" he asked.

"Of course," Dusk Shine said. "Why shouldn't she be?"

"Because she used Applejack," Butterscotch said. "Mares who trick stallions into kissing them...that's just wrong."

"I agree," Dusk Shine said, even though he had secret hopes of meeting a kissing mare. "But the thing about Rainbow Dash is...she really _does_ come from another dimension."

The pink-maned pony looked confused. "But that's impossible," Butterscotch said. "Isn't it?"

"I'm not sure," Dusk confessed. "I have to do a few more experiments. But I can't deny the fact that right now, she's here instead of Rainbow Blitz."

"...I wish Rainbow Blitz was back," Butterscotch said, lowering his head. "_He'd_ know how to help me talk to Pinkie Pie."

Personally, Dusk Shine thought it was a _good_ thing that Rainbow Blitz wasn't around to give Butterscotch mare advice. His advice would probably involve something incredibly inappropriate.

"I'm sorry," Dusk Shine said. "We have some romance novels in the library, but there's nothing along the lines of a guide on how to talk to mares. I'm not sure I can help with your problem."

"Oh," Butterscotch said, looking sad. "I was worried that would be the case..."

"What about Elusive?" Spines asked.

"Hey, yeah!" Dusk Shine said. "He used to run that dating service—I bet he knows _tons_ about how to talk to mares. He could help!"

"Really?" Butterscotch asked. "Oh, _thank_ you, Dusk! That'd be a big help!"

"You're welcome," Dusk said.

"Maybe I should go with you," Spines suggested. "Just in case you need any help."

Dusk smiled at Spines' thinly-veiled excuse for going to see her crush. "Maybe we should _both_ go," he said. "The more the merrier, right?"

* * *

Elusive was actually an unexpectedly popular pony that day. Within the span of a half-hour, no less than nine ponies came to see him. The first three ponies to stop by were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, hoping to borrow his pet cat so they could get their cat juggling cutie marks. Needless to say, Elusive kicked them out.

The next pony to stop by was our hero, Rainbow Dash. She slammed on the door.

"Dude Rarity, come on out!" she called.

"Just a moment!" Elusive said. He opened the door, and a sour look was on his face. "Rainbow Dash. I thought you would have stayed in Cloudsdale."

"Hey..." Rainbow Dash said, awkwardly putting one of her hooves behind her head. "I need some help. Applejack sort of..."

"Kicked you in the face?" Elusive asked. "I can see. Those black eyes are dreadful."

"Tell me about it," Rainbow Dash said. When your eyes make up over a third of your head, a black eye is nothing to laugh at. "You can fix it, right?"

"Not to be rude, but you deserved it," Elusive said. "Kissing Applejack, then running away with a ridiculous lie! Why, you might be worse than Princess Bluebelle!"

"It's not a lie! I _am_ from another dimension," Rainbow Dash said.

"Uh huh," Elusive said. "Then how did you get here? Do you have a transdimensional travelling machine?"

"Uh...to be honest, I'm not entirely sure how I got here," Rainbow Dash said.

"Thought so," Elusive said. "I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash, but mares like you are not welcome in my store. Do yourself a favor and find a new place to visit."

With that polite-but-firm dismissal, Elusive stepped backwards and used his magic to close the door to the Carousel Boutique.

"Well!" he said to himself, as he turned around and trotted to his work table. "Claiming to be from another dimension! What a ridiculous way to break up with somepony!"

"Hey!" a voice shouted. Elusive didn't have time to blink before a cerulean-cyan blur flew in through the window. It was Rainbow Dash, obviously; she landed right in front of Elusive and stared up at the taller stallion. "I did the best I could, okay? I've never had to break up with somepony before!"

Elusive put a compassionate hoof on Rainbow Dash's shoulder and said, "Rainbow, darling, I mean this in in the nicest possible way: get out of my house."

"Not until you get me something to fix my eyes," she said.

"_Fine,_" Elusive said. As it turned out, Elusive had plenty of the cream used to get rid of black eyes, because hoof fights were somewhat common in the Stallion Universe. He went to go a bottle from one of the crates in the back.

"And for the record, I didn't _want_ to break up with Applejack," Rainbow Dash said. "But he got mad and went away before I could explain."

"Well...Applejack _can_ be a bit stubborn sometimes..." Elusive said, reflecting on his own experiences with the Earth pony. Then, Elusive shook his head, mentally reminding himself to stay out of his friend's mare problems. "At the very least, you owe him a full apology."

"If he'll even _talk_ to me again..." Rainbow Dash muttered.

"Anyway, here's the cream you want," Elusive said. "It's only five bits per bottle, and you—"

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Hellooooo!" a voice called out. "Elusive, I'm here for our daaaate!"

Rainbow Dash's blood went cold. _I know that voice..._ she thought.

* * *

Outside the Carousel Boutique, two mares were arguing.

"I keep telling you, Elusive is _you!_" Pinkie Pie said. "Why _else_ would he meet you at _your house?_"

"Elusive mentioned that the Carousel Boutique is a tuxedo rental shop in this universe," Rarity said dismissively. "The fact that it's my house in our universe is just a coincidence."

"Rarity, you're crazy!" Pinkie Pie said. "How do you _not_ see that he's you?"

"He is a completely different pony," Rarity said. "Now, shoo. I don't need a third wheel tonight."

"But Rarity, this is a _really bad idea!_" Pinkie Pie said.

Rarity stepped past Pinkie Pie and knocked on the door. "Hellooooo!" she called out. "Elusive, I'm here for our daaaate!"

_"Coming!"_ Elusive called.

Pinkie's ears perked up. Like all Earth ponies, she had better hearing than unicorns or pegasi, so she could almost hear some voices inside.

"—that?"

"—my date—mare named Rarity. Now—"

"RARITY?" the female voice shouted. "NO WAY!"

Even Rarity could hear that shouting. She pursed her lips angrily. "He has another mare with him?" she asked.

"I know that voice!" Pinkie Pie said. She grabbed the front door and threw it open. The door swung inward and smashed Elusive against the wall, but Pinkie didn't notice this as she galloped in, Rarity at her heels.

_"Pinkie?"_ Rainbow Dash asked.

"RAINBOW!" Pinkie said. She tackle-hugged her pegasus friend, while Rarity stopped near the doorway and helped Elusive get up.

"How did you get here?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"The Princess sent Rarity and me to come get you," Pinkie Pie said, hugging her friend again. "Now you're _back!_ We finally have you with us again!"

"Great!" Rainbow Dash said. "Let's leave, then! There's nothing for me here."

"Rarity, you _know_ Rainbow Dash?" Elusive asked, rubbing the side of his head.

"Of course, she's one of my best friends," Rarity said. She walked up to Rainbow Dash and hugged her too. "We've missed you _so_ much! The Rainbow Blitz stallion who's been taking your place—well, nopony can replace you."

"Rainbow...Blitz...?" Elusive asked. "Did you say 'Rainbow Blitz'?"

"Rainbow, darling, what happened to your eyes?" Rarity asked.

"Applejack kicked me," Rainbow Dash said. "It's a _long_ story."

"You need to tell us _everything!_" Pinkie Pie said. "You've been here for, like, three days!"

"Excuse me," Elusive said. "But I believe an explanation is in order."

Rarity snapped back to reality, as she realized that the stallion she liked was standing five feet away. "Oh, dear, my apologies," Rarity said. "Elusive, these are my friends, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Girls, this is Elusive, my date for tonight."

"Hey, Lucy!" Pinkie Pie said, waving.

"You're dating _yourself?_" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Not you, too!" Rarity said. "For the last time, Elusive is _not me!_"

"Are you _nuts?_" Rainbow Dash asked. "You two are practically twins!"

Elusive adjusted the collar on his tuxedo. "Now that you mention it..." he said. "We _do_ look similar...is your cutie mark the same as mine?"

Rarity paled, which is something marshmallow-colored ponies don't do often. "I...three diamonds...but..."

"Told you!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Yoo hoo, Elusive!" a voice called. Everypony turned towards the entrance of the Carousel Boutique, just in time to see a baby dragon bound inside happily.

"Spines?" Elusive asked.

Spines stopped short, when she saw the other poines. "Whuh—why do you have so many mares in your house?" she asked, sounding hurt.

"I didn't invite—"

"We're here too!" Dusk Shine announced, coming in with Butterscotch.

Elusive had to double-check his door, to make sure nopony had put up a "Please come inside without asking" sign.

Butterscotch gasped loudly. "It's...her!" he said, before diving behind Dusk Shine.

"Her, who?" Dusk asked.

"The mare I told you about!" Butterscotch said. "Pinkie Pie!"

Dusk made an educated guess and decided that Butterscotch was talking about the pink mare. "Pleased to meet you, Miss Pie," he said. "My friend Butterscotch told me all about you."

"You must be Dude Twilight!" Pinkie Pie said. "I mean, Dusk Shine! Prince Solaris told us about you!"

"You know Prince Solaris?" Dusk Shine asked excitedly. "I'm his personal student! He says I—" Dusk stopped. "Wait. I'm sorry, it's selfish to talk about myself, when you want to talk to Butterscotch. Here."

Dusk went behind Butterscotch and pushed his friend forward, towards Pinkie Pie.

"Hello again!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Eeeek!" Butterscotch said.

"So they're Fluttershy, Twilight and Spike," Rainbow Dash explained to Rarity.

"I see," she said. "But if _they're_ our friends, then Elusive is...is...dear Celestia, he really _is_ me!"

"What on Earth does that mean?" Elusive asked.

"Noooo!" Rarity said. "I don't like this universe anymore! I want to go home!"

"Join the club," Rainbow Dash said. "How did you two get here, anyway?"

"Through the magic mirror!" Rarity said. "Hmmm, now that I think about it, that's like that fillies' book with the mad tea party..."

"What is going _on_ here?" Elusive asked loudly.

Dusk Shine walked over, attracted by Rarity's pretty mane. "Hey, another unicorn!" he said. "I haven't seen _you_ before. What's your name?"

"She's _my_ date," Elusive said protectively, taking a step towards Dusk Shine.

On the other side of the room, things were not going well for poor Butterscotch.

"Whaaaaaat?" Pinkie Pie asked. "I talked to you for three minutes! That doesn't make me your marefriend!"

"Oh...oh no..." Butterscotch said. "Oh NO!"

"Hey, don't talk to Butterscotch that way!" Spines said defensively. "He's a _great_ pony! You should be _glad_ he likes you!"

Rainbow Dash flew up into the air and took a deep breath. "EVERYPONY QUIET!" she shouted.

Everypony stopped talking and looked at Rainbow Dash, who landed on the ground. "That's better," she said. "Now, let's get some things straight, before we start talking again. Pinkie Pie and Rarity are my friends from the Mare Universe."

"Of course!" Dusk Shine said. "They're the mare versions of Bubble Berry and Elusive!"

"Wha-wha—you're not _seriously_ saying that Rainbow Dash is from another universe?!" Elusive said.

"Muh—mare Bubble Berry?" Butterscotch asked.

"Thaaat's me!" Pinkie Pie said.

"We came here to get Rainbow Dash," Rarity said. "Somehow, she got switched with Rainbow Blitz, and now we're going to switch them back."

"How?" Dusk Shine asked. "I've been looking into interdimensional travel, and it's practically impossible!"

"Twilight Sparkle—your female counterpart—gave us these," Rarity said, using her magic to pull the TDSL pouch out of her saddlebag. Inside the pouch were the three TDSL balls. "She said if we smash them against the ground, she can locate us and return us home."

"What are those?" Dusk asked curiously. He stepped forward to take a closer look, but Rainbow Dash flew and grabbed the pouch.

***Smash!***

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity said.

"What?" Rainbow asked, standing over the pouch. "You said I just had to smash it to get home."

"There's a twenty minute delay," Rarity said.

"Oh," Rainbow said.

"I suppose twenty minutes is long enough for us to get acquainted," Elusive said, settling back on his haunches. "Now could someone explain what the _hay_ is going on here?"

As a gentlecolt, Elusive rarely swore, but he felt the situation called for it.

* * *

Twenty-five minutes later, Princess Celestia and her student, Twilight Sparkle, were together in front of the interdimensional mirror.

"Are you _sure_ you don't need any help?" Princess Celestia asked. "It is an immensely complicated spell."

"I know, but I'd like to try it myself," Twilight said. "If I can't do it on my first try, then you can help me."

"As you wish, Twilight Sparkle," Princess Celestia said. Sometimes, Twilight had trouble asking for help when she needed it.

Twilight carefully read the correct spell out of a book, as she concentrated her impressive magical abilities. It took less than a minute for her to cast the spell and locate where the TDSL signal was coming from. After that, the spell grabbed ahold of the three nearby ponies, and Twilight began the difficult work of bringing them back to her Equestria.

"I...rrrrrrrgh!" Twilight said.

"Let me help," Celestia offered. Horn glowing, she added her magic to Twilight's. A sigh of relief came out of the unicorn's lips, as her burden was greatly relieved.

"_Thank you,_" Twilight said. "I think we're...almost...there!"

Twilight jerked her head backwards and to the right, as she finished the spell. At the spot where her horn was pointed, smoke from the mirror started to gather. Gradually, the smoke formed into the shape of three ponies.

As the forms became more defined, a flaw in Twilight's plan became apparent. The TDSL is primarily a locating device, perfect for use if you want to find somepony who is lost. It is _not_ so good, if you're trying to find three specific ponies inside a crowded room, especially if they happen to be over a hundred miles and a dimension away.

"Something's wrong," Princess Celestia said instantly. "One of them is too small." Her pupils contracted as the smoke solidified, revealing two unicorns and a baby dragon.

"Oops," Twilight said.


	13. Trouble Brewing

_Stallion Universe_

There was dead silence in the Carousel Boutique, following the sudden disappearance of Dusk Shine, Elusive and Spines.

"Um...what the heck just happened?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"They're...they're gone!" Butterscotch said.

"But they were just here a moment ago!" Pinkie Pie said, checking under a table in case Dusk Shine was merely hiding. "They just turned to smoke and vanished!"

As the only unicorn of the group, Rarity was able to notice something else. "The TDSL stopped giving off magic, too," she said. "It happened at the same time they disappeared."

"_What happened to our friends?_" Pinkie Pie demanded. "Dusk was in the middle of telling a story! Now I'll _never_ know how it ends!"

Rarity closed her eyes in thought. "I think Twilight used the TDSLs to take three ponies to the Mare Universe," she said.

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking at the broken remains of the TDSL devices. "But we're still here."

"Exactly," Rarity said. "It took three ponies, but the _wrong_ three ponies."

"You have GOT to be joking!" Rainbow said.

"They're in _your_ universe?" Butterscotch asked. "How do we get them back?"

"We _can't!_" Pinkie Pie said. Her hair seemed to expand in frustration. "We're all out of unicorns! That means we can't use magic to cheat through our problems!"

_"I beg your pardon?"_ Rarity asked.

"Oh, yeah, we have Rarity," Pinkie reflected. "Do _you_ know intertransdimensional spell thingies?"

"Of course not!" Rarity said. "I'm a fashion designer, not a physicist!"

"But how do we get back now?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Without the Twilights, we're stuck here!"

"I'm sure that once the mistake gets figured out, they'll rectify the situation," Rarity said.

"Yeah!" Butterscotch added. "Dusk never lets his friends down! Even if they're, um, mares."

Butterscotch looked at the three mares in the room, then blushed furiously and looked at the ground. He had never been alone in a room with three attractive mares before.

Not to say he thought they were attractive! They were the mare version of his friends, after all, and he didn't find his friends physically attractive. But mares were still a mysterious to Butterscotch, and the biggest mystery of all was the fact that they could exude attractiveness without even trying.

Like Pinkie Pie. She wasn't _trying_ to be adorable, with her inviting eyes and fluffy hair and energetic smile supported by two lips that...

_No!_ Butterscotch thought, shaking his head. _She's Bubble Berry! That's wrong!_

Pinkie Pie couldn't help but notice the pegasus' odd behavior. "Uh...not to be mean, but why do you keep staring at my mouth?" she asked. "Do I have candy stuck on my teeth?"

"I...no...I have to go home now!" Butterscotch said. He tucked his wings as close as possible to his sides and took off at a fast-paced trot, much like he did when he met Rainbow Blitz's griffon friend.

"...Buttershy is weird," Rainbow Dash commented.

"I'm sure he's just shy," Rarity said. "In any case, what do you girls think we should do now?"

* * *

_Mare Universe_

A dimension away, Applejack and Fluttershy were chatting with each other in Fluttershy's room, when a scroll appeared above them and landed on the ground.

"A letter!" Applejack said. "Ah bet it's from the Princess!"

Fluttershy picked up the scroll and read it. "Applejack, Fluttershy. I need you to come to the mirror room immediately. Twilight."

"Huh?" Applejack asked.

"Oh, my, this sounds urgent," Fluttershy said. "We'd better get going."

Applejack scratched her head with her hoof. "Something about this seems wrong," she said. "Why would Twilight send us a letter instead of coming to get us?"

"Maybe she was too busy," Fluttershy suggested.

"As a matter of fact, _how_ did she send us a letter?" Applejack asked. "Spike ain't here in Canterlot with us!"

"Do...do you think the letter is a fake?" Fluttershy asked.

"Only one way to find out," Applejack said. "Let's get to the mirror room!"

The two friends made their way to the mirror room at a brisk pace. From the doorway, Applejack saw a familiar-colored pony.

"Twi!" Applejack said. "We got your message and—"

Applejack stopped abruptly, causing Fluttershy to almost run into her. "You're not Twilight," Applejack said.

"No, I'm not," the stallion said. He held out his hoof. "I'm Dusk Shine. You must be Applejack."

"I'm over here, girls!" Twilight said, waving from a corner of the room, where she was talking with Princess Celestia, and what appeared to be Spike and Rarity.

"What in the—" Applejack sputtered.

"I'm from the Stallion World," Dusk Shine explained. "I guess you could call me the stallion version of Twilight."

"L-like how Rainbow Blitz is the stallion version of Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy offered timidly. The shy pony was standing behind her farmer friend, using Applejack as a shield between herself and the strange new stallion.

"Exactly," Dusk Shine said. "And you must be Butterscotch!"

Fluttershy cringed a bit as Dusk Shine tried to peer around Applejack, so he could see her. "I'm Fluttsh..." she mumbled.

"Wow, you look _realllly_ different as a mare," Dusk said. "Your mane is huge!"

"Not to be rude an' all, but what are you doing here?" Applejack asked. "Ah thought Pinkie and Rarity were only going to get Rainbow."

"Don't worry," Dusk Shine said. "We're working on a solution to get everypony back into their own universe. And the Princess wants to make sure no mistakes like this can ever happen again. Now let me introduce you to my friends!"

Dusk Shine smiled happily and trotted off. Applejack shrugged and followed. In a few seconds, she realized the pony she mistook for Rarity was actually a stallion.

"Oh, wow..." Fluttershy said. "This is strange."

"Girls, this is Elusive and Spines," Dusk Shine said.

"Pleased to meet you," Elusive said cordially, while giving a polite bow. "I apologize if I seem out of sorts. This other universe situation is...quite odd."

"Heyo!" Spines said. "I _like_ this universe! It's nice to be around mares for once."

Fluttershy perked up. "I've never seen a _girl_ dragon before!" she said. "Your cheeks are bigger than Spike's! And your tail is shorter! Is that because—?"

"So..." Elusive said. "What are _your_ names?"

"Ah'm Applejack, and mah friend here is Fluttershy," Applejack said.

"Really?" Elusive said, in a deep, flat tone. "Applejack has the same name, no matter which gender he is? That doesn't make any sense."

"Huh," Applejack said. "Well, Ah was told that when mah parents got married, Pa swore that he'd name one of the foals 'Applejack'. That's where mah name comes from."

"I didn't know that," Elusive said. "Maybe I should ask my parents where _my_ name comes from. I wasn't named after a relative or anything like that."

"BROS!" a voice shouted.

Everypony turned to see Rainbow Blitz fly into the room. He went directly to Dusk Shine and gave him a noogie. "I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Ow! Quit it!" Dusk said. "Nice to—ow!—see you again, Rainbow!"

"I see he got my letter," Twilight said.

"Elusive!" Rainbow said, giving his friend a brohoof. "You're here, too! Does this mean I _finally _get to go back home?"

Princess Celestia smiled. "Good," she said. "Now everypony is here."

"We can get started, then?" Twilight asked.

"Of course," Celestia said. The Princess of the Sun drew up to her full height and took steps towards the main group. "I have been speaking with Twilight Sparkle and Dusk Shine, and I think we have some idea of what happened several days ago."

"What _did_ happen?" Rainbow Blitz asked.

Princess Celestia paused for a moment, as she tried to think of a better explanation than "random fluke".

"It appears to be an unfortunate combination of spells," Celestia said. "In any case, it would be unwise for us to jump to any conclusions before consulting with Prince Solaris. We can get our questions answered after."

"After what?" Fluttershy asked.

"After we send the stallions back home, of course," Celestia said.

"Yes!" Rainbow Blitz cheered.

"Aw, we just got here!" Spines said. "I wanna meet the colt version of me!"

"How do we get home?" Elusive asked.

"The same way that Rarity and Pinkie Pie entered your world," Princess Celestia said. "You go through the magic mirror." She gestured towards the large mirror that had been used previously.

"Huh," Dusk Shine said. "So _that's_ why they call this the mirror room."

Since everypony's attention was focused on the mirror, they were able to see the disaster as it happened. A hoofball, which seemed to appear from out of nowhere, flew through the air and smashed into the mirror, breaking it into six large pieces.

The ponies let out loud cries of shock and dismay. Only Celestia seemed to understand what was happening, and she braced herself as a familiar, sinister figure appeared before them.

"Well, well, well," Discord said. "It looks like some of the Elements of Harmony are trapped in another universe. What a shame!"

* * *

_Stallion Universe_

In the stallion universe, the mood inside Carousel Boutique was one of frustration, as the sun went down and Prince Artemis raised the moon in a starless sky.

"Why haven't they done anything yet?" Rainbow asked. "It's been _hours!_"

"I _know!_" Pinkie Pie said. "This is _boring!_ I could be out meeting new ponies, instead of waiting forever!"

"It _has_ been a while..." Rarity said. She sighed and stood up. "Well, it looks like there's nothing we can do about it. Let's get started."

"Started? With _what?_" Rainbow asked.

"Making plans," Rarity said. "It's starting to look like we'll be stuck here overnight. Where are we going to sleep?"

"Well, you can't stay at _my_ house, because it's in the sky," Rainbow Dash said.

"Maybe we could get a room at a hotel," Pinkie suggested.

"Hmmm..." Rarity thought. "I'd rather stay here, to be honest. It's not _my_ Carousel Boutique, but it's close enough to home. I just hope Elusive doesn't mind me using his house without permission..."

"I'm sure he'd understand," Pinkie Pie said. "Can I stay here, too?"

"Actually, why don't you stay at the library?" Rarity asked. "With Spines and Dusk Shine gone, nopony is there to watch it."

"You want us to _house-sit_ for the colts?" Rainbow Dash asked. "What are we, their servants?"

"Well, it _is_ our fault that they're no longer in this universe," Rarity said. "It's the least we can do. And we have to stay _somewhere_."

"I can watch the library, I guess!" Pinkie Pie said. "Twilight would be really upset if nopony watched it, so Dusk Shine probably feels the same way."

"Eh, I don't think I need to play foalsitter for the library if Pinkie's going to be there," Rainbow Dash said. "I'd rather go back to my house for tonight. I mean, it's not _my_ house, but, uh...ah, you know what I mean."

"It's settled, then," Rarity said. "I'll stay here tonight, while Pinkie sleeps at the library. If nothing happens overnight, we can all meet at the library tomorrow at 9:00 and decide what to do next."

The three friends nodded in agreement, then went their separate ways.

* * *

Pinkie Pie shivered a bit as she walked to the library. It was a cold night because there were no stars, and nopony was on the streets besides for two tax collectors visiting from Manehatten. They both gave Pinkie Pie strange looks that made her feel wary.

_Can't wait to get into a warm bed!_ Pinkie thought, trying to be cheery.

The door to the library was unlocked, so Pinkie was easily able to open the door and turn on the lights. She looked around the familiar library, but stopped cold when she saw something out of place: an angry face glaring at her.

It was Owlowiscious. Or at least, the female version of Owlowiscious. And she did _not_ look happy that a stranger had broken into the library at night, when Dusk Shine wasn't around.

"Whooo?" the owl said.

"Oh, hey there!" Pinkie Pie said, forcing out a laugh. "I know this probably looks bad, but I'm not here to do anything naughty! I just—"

"WHOOO!" the owl said, showing her teeth.

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie said. "And I'm sure Dusk Shine would give me permission to be here alone, so you don't have to—"

"Whooo! Whooo! Whooo!" the owl said. She flew up into the air and then dove towards Pinkie Pie, talons forward. Pinkie gasped and jumped out of the way.

"I'm not a burglar!" she said. "Don't hurt me! I just—"

"Whoo! WHOOOOO!" the owl howled. The angry night hunter dove towards Pinkie again. Pinkie let out a short scream, then ran out the door, slamming it behind her.

Pinkie caught her breath, while leaning against the closed door. In a few seconds, she heard a clicking sound as the owl locked the door from the inside.

"Hey!" Pinkie said. "You can't lock me out! I need a place to stay tonight!"

The only response was silence.

Pinkie walked away from the library slowly, her hair deflating a bit. Behind her, the library's lights were turned off, throwing her into the darkness. She shivered again.

"Guess I'll go back to Rarity..." Pinkie said to herself.

"Hey! Baby!" a voice called.

Pinkie looked up, to see one of the stallions from earlier. There was no mistaking it this time; the look on his face _definitely_ made her feel uncomfortable.

"What's a cute little filly like you doin' all alone, on a night like this?" the stallion leered.

"Uhm...I'm not a filly," Pinkie Pie said, but the stallion didn't seem to hear her. If Pinkie had to guess, this stallion had a bit too much cider to drink that night.

"You should come home with me," the stallion said. "I'll take _real_ good care of you!"

"N-no," Pinkie said, stepping backwards a bit. The alarm bells in her head were practically screaming _Stranger danger! Stranger danger! _at her. In fact, she could almost see the friendship report that would result from this encounter...

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_I used to think that I always like making new friends. Today, I learned that there is an exception. I do not like making friends with creepy stallions in the dark._

_Your loyal subject,  
Pinkie Pie_

"Ain't right for a mare to say—"

"OH MY GOSH, LOOK AT THAT!" Pinkie Pie said, pointing behind the stallion. He turned to look at where she was pointing, and the instant his back was turned, Pinkie galloped away at top speed, dodging street lamps and trash cans.

Her mind was on autopilot, as the only thing she could think of was getting to safety, and so it was not a conscious decision that brought her to Sugarcube Corners. She grabbed one of her keys from its usual hiding spot, then threw open the door. She dived inside and slammed the door shut behind her, panting heavily.

_I...I think I'm safe!_ Pinkie thought, as she got up to lock the door securely. She almost caught her breath again, when a strange voice called out, _"Who's there? _Bubble, is that you?"

"Oh no!" Pinkie said.

Two ponies came out from one of the back doors. It was clearly Mr. and Mrs. Cake, even if they were different genders. They bore a strong resemblance to the Cakes that Pinkie knew, with Mr. Cake being the taller member of the pair, and Mrs. Cake being short and pudgy.

"Who—what are you doing here?" Mr. Cake asked, taking a step forward to protect his wife. "It's past closing hours!"

"_Please,_ Mr. and Mrs. Cake, don't hurt me!" Pinkie said, her eyes tearing up. "I just got attacked by an owl and a creepy stallion, and I don't have anywhere to stay tonight, and _I want to go hoooome!_"

Pinkie started weeping openly. The two Cakes looked at each other, then at Pinkie, then at each other again. They nodded, then walked up to Pinkie Pie.

"Please don't cry, dear," Mrs. Cake said. "If you're in some kind of trouble, maybe we can help you."

"That's right!" Mr. Cake said. "If you need a place to stay tonight, I'm sure we can find you a hotel, or—"

One of the upstairs doors opened, and a voice asked, "Hey, what's going on?"

The three Earth ponies on the floor looked up to see Bubble Berry standing in his doorway, looking confused.


	14. A Brand New Best Friend

_Stallion Universe_

Pinkie Pie sniffed loudly and wiped one of her wet eyes as she looked up at her stallion self. Bubble Berry appeared to be half-awake.

"Nothing's going on," Mrs. Cake called up to Bubble Berry. "This mare just showed up in our house and—"

Suddenly, Bubble Berry's eyes almost popped out of his head, as he caught a glimpse of what appeared to be the most attractive mare ever, sitting in his house. He squealed loudly.

"I'll be right down!" Bubble Berry said. He ducked into his room and presently came out, sliding down a staircase banister and hopping off towards the others.

"Bubble..." Mr. Cake said warily.

"Here," Bubble Berry said, holding out a handkerchief to Pinkie Pie. "I saw you needed one of these."

Pinkie gave a weak smile as she took the handkerchief. She blew her nose in the middle, then wiped her eyes with the corners.

"Feel better?" Berry Bubble asked.

"Uh huh..." Pinkie said softly, nodding a bit. "Thank you."

The Cakes exchanged a look. Bubble Berry was being uncharacteristically chivalrous.

"I don't want to see you sad anymore, okay?" Bubble Berry said, putting a compassionate hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "A pretty mare like you shouldn't need to cry."

"You think I'm pretty?" Pinkie Pie asked. That wasn't a word most ponies used to describe her. "Energetic" or "crazy", yes, but not "pretty".

"I think you're _really_ pretty!" Bubble Berry said, grinning hugely. "You're like the prettiest mare in all of Prettydom! I'm Bubble Berry! Who are you?"

Pinkie took a moment to shake her body and stand back up on all four hooves. "I'm Pinkie Pie!" she said, in a more cheery voice. "I'm your twin sister!"

_"Twin sister?"_ the Cakes gasped in horror.

"Huh, I don't remember having one of those..." Bubble Berry said, scratching his head.

"I'm from the same universe as Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie said. "You know all about that, right?"

Bubble Berry was a tad surprised. To be honest, he had never fully believed Rainbow Dash's story about the mare universe. But there was no longer any reason to doubt.

"Of course!" Bubble Berry said. He wrapped Pinkie Pie in a big bear hug. "Pinkie Pie, my favorite twin! How could I forget about you?"

"You're my favorite twin, too!" Pinkie Pie said. "I always wanted a brother!"

"And I always wanted a little sister!" Bubble Berry said.

"Hey!" Pinkie Pie said. "I'm not a little sister! I'm the _big_ sister!"

"Awh, I wanted to be the older one!" Bubble Berry said. He pouted for a second, then stopped. "Wait! If we're related...does that mean it's awkward I called you pretty?"

"No way," Pinkie Pie said. "I know I'm hot."

"Am _I_ hot?" Bubble Berry asked.

"You are the hottest stallion _ever!_" Pinkie Pie said. "Except for the ones with big muscles and perfect hair and clean teeth. But who cares? You're _pink! _BEST! COLOR!_ EVER!_"

"Pink power!" Bubble Berry cheered.

By this point, the two Cakes had crossed over to the other side of the room. They were conversing in low tones, so the two pink ponies wouldn't overhear them.

"Bubble Berry has a _twin?_" Mr. Cake asked.

"It looks like it," Mrs. Cake said. "They even have the same cutie mark!"

"This feels like a disaster waiting to happen," Mr. Cake said. "I should probably warn Mayor Mustang, just in case the town explodes."

"Don't be silly," Mrs. Cake said. "They seem to be getting along fine."

Mr. Cake glanced at the two pink ponies, who were singing and dancing about their newfound interdimensional friendship.

_I found a brand new best friend, and it's me!  
I found a brand new best friend, and it's me!  
Now that I found you,  
We can be a duo!_

"I _guess_ they seem harmless enough," Mr. Cake said. "But what about the rules?"

The Cakes had a number of rules that Bubble Berry had to follow, if he wanted to continue living with them. Right after "no loud party music if the babies are asleep", there was a rule about not having mares spend the night.

"We can make an exception," Mrs. Cake said. "What's the worst that could happen?

* * *

_Mare Universe_

If your idea of "the worst that could happen" is "an unstoppable, all-powerful trickster on the loose", then the worst that could happen _was _happening.

"Isn't _this_ a curious situation?" Discord asked. "It looks like you've traded some of your mares in for stallions!"

"Discord!" Princess Celestia said, pawing the ground with one hoof. "_You're_ behind Rainbow Dash's disappearance?"

Discord chuckled. He had nothing to do with the Rainbow Blitz disaster, but if the princess wanted to think otherwise, he wouldn't argue. A good villain never turns down a chance to appear more powerful than he actually is.

"You've all been brewing up such wonderful chaos lately, that I decided I just _had_ to pay you a visit," Discord said. "Did you miss me?"

Spines gulped. "Is that thing...Eris?" he asked.

"Has to be," Elusive said. "Nothing else looks quite like her, no matter _which_ universe you're in."

"I'll hold Discord off," Celestia said. "You girls get the Elements of Harmony, and—"

"You mean _these?_" Discord said, pulling a suitcase from out of nowhere and opening it to show all six Elements of Harmony were inside. Discord dismissively tossed it towards his foes.

"Go ahead, try and use them!" he said. "You can't do it without your wimpy little friends!"

"He's right!" Twilight gasped. "Without all six of us here, the Elements don't work!"

"Well, what do we _do_, then?" Applejack asked.

"I...I'm not sure!" Celestia said. "But we can't give up hope! We must stop Discord!"

"Your threats mean _nothing!_" Discord said. "You can't turn me into stone without your _precious Elements!_"

Discord snapped his fingers and howled with delight as Celestia was slowly turned into stone, from the bottom up. Twilight Sparkle's scream of horror was particularly pleasant to the draconequus' ears.

"The shoe's on the other hoof _now_, isn't it?" Discord asked.

"You can't get away with this!" Celestia said. "We'll—augg." Her speech was cut off as her mouth turned to stone.

"Really, isn't this what they call 'poetic justice'?" Discord asked. "You turn me into stone for a thousand years, _I_ turn you into stone...it's only fair, isn't it? I _know_ how much you _love_ fairness..."

Twilight Sparkle turned to her friends, and they all huddled up together. "Quickly, while he's distracted!" she said. "We have to stop him!"

"We'll help!" Dusk Shine said. He cast a side glance at his stallion friends. "We can wield the Elements of Harmony, right, bronies?"

"Darn right!" Rainbow Blitz said.

"Perfect!" Twilight said. "Dusk, you can replace Pinkie Pie...Elusive, you should be Rarity...and Spines, you're the new Rainbow Dash."

"Whaaat?" Rainbow Blitz asked. "If anypony's going to be Rainbow Dash, it'll be _me!_"

"Is Pinkie Pie Bubble Berry?" Dusk asked. "Because that's a problem. I'm not the Element of Laughter."

"This ain't the time to be arguing!" Applejack said, grabbing her necklace and putting it on. "It's time to get going afore Discord—"

"No," Elusive said.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Applejack asked.

"Well, not to be rude, but I don't want to be an Element of Harmony in this universe," Elusive said.

Discord fist-pumped. "Score another point for chaos!" he said.

"An' why _not?_"

"The Elements in this universe are...er..." Elusive said. He pointed towards them with his hoof. "They're girly-looking necklaces! I can't be seen wearing one of those!"

"He's got a point..." Rainbow Blitz said.

Dusk Shine frowned, when he saw the mare version of _his_ Element wasn't a crown. "Uh...I agree," he said. "Besides, I don't think that tiara would fit me..."

"Why, I disagree!" Discord said, suddenly putting his chin on Dusk's shoulder. "You'd look _adorable_ in that sparkly tiara!"

"Augh!" Dusk Shine cried, jumping left to get away from Discord. "Get off! Get off! Get off!"

"No time to argue!" Twilight said, using her magic to throw the Elements of Harmony at the colts. "Just put them on!"

Discord laughed to himself, then leaned back comfortably. He wasn't worried in the slightest. For one thing, he was certain that the Elements of Harmony would not work if they tried to replace half of the bearers with new ponies. For another thing, the gold-covered necklaces in the suitcase were fakes. Do you _really_ think Discord would be stupid enough to give his enemies the _real_ Elements of Harmony? Puh-lease.

"Discord, it's time to surrender!" Twilight Sparkle said. Her eyes glowed as she flew upwards. "There's no—ow!"

She bumped into Dusk Shine, who was also floating upwards. "You're in the way!" he said.

"_I'm_ in the center!" Twilight said. "_You're_ on the outside!"

"Where?" he asked. "Bottom/left? Does the positioning matter?"

Discord sighed in happiness. Such bickering among the chosen Elements of the Harmony warmed his cruel heart...and the best part was that he hadn't even _started_ manipulating them!

"Just get out of my way!" Twilight said. "I can't—huh?"

With a loud squeak, the tiara on Twilight's head turned into a rubber duck. Similar things happened to the other elements. Discord howled with laughter.

"You should see the looks on your faces!" Discord said. "Oh, priceless!"

"It was a trick," Twilight said unnecessarily. "Not funny, Discord."

"On the contrary, my little pony, it's _hilarious!_" Discord said.

Elusive was holding his head in his hooves. "All I wanted to do was go on a date with a nice mare," he said. "How did my night turn into _this?_"

Fluttershy scrunched up. "This is bad. This is bad." she kept repeating to herself.

"Where are the _real_ Elements of Harmony?" Twilight Sparkle demanded.

"Oh, I hid them in a very special place," Discord said. "If you want to find them, you'll have to play a game."

"Again?" Twilight. "You did this last time."

"_Not like last time!"_ Discord said, his eyes suddenly turning to flame. "This time, _you will lose, Twilight Sparkle!_"

"Uh..." Twilight said, gritting her teeth. Suddenly, antagonizing Discord seemed like a bad idea.

"Teams of two this time," Discord said. "Enjoy!" He snapped his fingers, and the six ponies disappeared, leaving behind a very frightened baby dragon.

Discord sized Spines up for a second, then flew straight at her. "Boo!" he shouted.

"AAAAAAA!" Spines screamed, running out of the room with her hands in the air.

* * *

_Stallion Universe_

When Rarity went downstairs the next morning, she was startled to find a small filly in the kitchen.

"Surprise!" the filly said. "I made breakfast!"

"Sweetie Belle?" Rarity asked.

"My name's Silver Bell," the young colt said. Silver Bell was marshmallow colored, with silver-and-purple hair. His mane was naturally curly, but he clearly did not take good care of it, for it was much scruffier than Rarity would have liked.

"I'm Rarity," Rarity introduced herself. "I am...your brother's friend."

"You mean like a normal friend, or one of his special friends?" Silver Bell asked.

Rarity stood up straighter at that question. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Elusive likes to bring strange mares to his house," Silver Bell said. "He calls them his 'special' friends."

"He—_what?_"

The young filly seemed eager to explain. "When one of his special mare friends come over, they go to his room and lock the door," he said. "Then they stay up _really_ late, making all sorts of crazy loud noises! I don't like it, because it makes it hard for me to sleep."

Rarity was aghast. If Elusive was doing what it _sounded_ like he was doing...

"These mares your brother brings over," Rarity said. Are they—?"

"You're one of 'em, right?" Silver Bell said. "That means you're gonna leave after breakfast. They all do."

"No!" Rarity said. "That can't be!" Her colt self was...promiscuous? A mare chaser? Unthinkable!

"Silver Bell," Rarity said seriously. "This is very important. How often does your brother bring mares home with him?"

"He usually gets a new one every day," Silver Bell said. "He says mares are—"

"AAAAAAAAA!" Rarity screamed. She put a hoof to her forehead and fainted.

There was silence in the kitchen for a moment, followed by unbridled laughter as a light blue pegasus stepped out from her hiding spot near the fridge. "Ha ha ha ha! It worked!" Rainbow Dash said. "We totally got her!"

"Yeah!" Silver Bell said, jumping up in excitement. "I said exactly what you told me to, and she screamed!"

Rainbow Dash laughed some more. "That was _hilarious!_" she said. "She totally fell for it!"

Silver checked his flank, then frowned. "Aw, I didn't get my practical joke cutie mark..." he said. "Why did she scream, though? What did those weird things mean?"

"Uh...you'll find out when you're older, kid," Rainbow Dash said. "Either way, that was the best joke ever."

Rarity's eyes snapped open. _"A joke?"_ she cried.

"Uh oh," Rainbow Dash said.

Rarity got to her feet, practically breathing fire. "RAINBOW DASH!" she said. "SWEETIE BELLE!"

"Uh, my name's not really—" Silver began to say.

"Forget that, kid!" Rainbow Dash advised. "Ruuuuuuuun!"

* * *

_Mare Universe_

For a moment, everything was darkness, and Twilight Sparkle had no idea where she was. She had the odd sensation of falling sideways for ten seconds, before she landed on her hooves.

"Ugh!" she grunted. Beside her, another pony grunted as well. In the dim light, she could see that it was Dusk Shine.

The two purple ponies instinctively looked upwards, to the only source of light. It appeared the two of them were at the bottom of an empty well.

"Hello, my little ponies..." Discord's voice said, even though the monster himself was nowhere in sight. His voice echoed off the walls, which made it sound deeper than normal.

"Where are we?" Twilight asked.

"In a well, of course," Discord said. "There are two of you, so I figure I'll let you rot in there for, oh, two days?"

Twilight looked in all directions, trying to find the source of Discord's voice. She eventually settled for looking upwards. "How do we get out?" she asked.

"Oh, it's simple," Discord said. "Just surrender to me. Surrendering gets you a one-way ticket outta here!"

"Never!" Twilight said.

"Suit yourself," Discord said. "You'll change your mind soon enough, when you learn what Dusk Shine _really _thinks about you."

Twilight cast a glance at her male partner. "Uh...do you have any idea what's going on here?" she asked. "Because I'm a little confused."

Dusk nodded grimly. "Don't worry," he said. "I know _exactly_ what Discord is up to. Eris did the same thing, the third time she escaped. She tried to isolate us, so we would betray each other."

Twilight took a moment to wonder why the Spirit of Chaos would appear more often in Dusk's world—perhaps a universe dominated by stallions was inherently more chaotic than a universe run by mares?—before asking, "How do we get out of this?"

"We trust each other, and we trust our friends," Dusk Shine said. "No matter what, we don't let Discord twist our feelings around. Isn't that right, you stupid little brat?"

"Huh?" Twilight asked.

"Isn't that right, you pathetic, useless dolt?" Dusk Shine asked. "What, are you too stupid to understand a simple sentence?"

Twilight took a step back and bumped up against the wall. "I...I must be hearing things," she said.

Dusk Shine's ears flattened backwards, as a sad look appeared on his face. "What?" he asked. "Why...why would you say something mean like that?"

"I didn't say anything mean," Twilight said. "_You're_ the one who called me a brat!"

"Mom did _not _say anything like that to me!" Dusk Shine said. "Just because I've never had a marefriend doesn't mean I'm useless!"

Something clicked inside Twilight's brain. "Discord!" she said. "He must be changing what we're hearing!"

Dusk put his hooves in his ears. "La la la la la! I'm not listening!" he said.

"No, Dusk!" Twilight said. "Discord is changing what we're saying! You think I'm saying horrible things, when really I—"

Dusk Shine slapped Twilight. "You [bad word]!" he said.

"Getting along well, are you?" Discord chuckled. "I haven't even finished explaining the rules."

"The rules?" Twilight asked.

"I said that you can surrender at any time to get out of here," Discord said. "That's true, but only one pony can surrender."

"Huh?"

"You surrender, you get out. Your partner, on the other hand? He gets left behind," Discord said. "Stuck in a well for all eternity..."

"Are you crazy?" Twilight asked. "I'm not going to leave Dusk stranded here forever!"

"Are you _suuure?_" Discord asked. "Do you think he's trustworthy? What if he decides to betray you first? Then _you're_ stuck here!"

Twilight looked at Dusk Shine. "You won't betray me, right?" she asked.

"I would do anything to ruin your waste of a life," Dusk replied.

"Quit messing with our words!" Twilight said. "I want to talk to the _real_ Dusk!"

"But Twilight, I _am_ the real Dusk," Dusk said. "It hurts me that you don't believe me."

"Ah, but she _never_ really believes her friends, does she?" Discord asked. "The only pony she cares about is herself. Isn't that right?"

"I wouldn't know," Dusk said. "Personally, I don't really pay much attention to her. She's a bore."

Twilight slumped on the ground. She wasn't sure she could take two days of this.


	15. Getting the Elements

_Stallion Universe_

Prince Solaris' sun burned brightly, causing heat to rise from the pavement near the Ponyville Train Station. The three mares quickly made their way to the ticket counter, in hopes of exchanging their tickets to Canterlot for tickets that left at an earlier date.

Sadly, this was not to be.

"What do you _mean_ our money's no good here?" Rarity demanded.

Rainbow Dash slammed her hoof on the counter. "We need to get to Canterlot, _fast!_"

The train station attendant was undisturbed. "Look, you give me real money, I give you a ticket. That's how it works," he said.

"But this _is_ real money!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Ha!" the attendant said. He held up the coin that Rarity had given him. "Tell me, whose picture is on this bit?"

"Princess Celestia—oh," Rarity said.

"Like I said, fake," the attendant said. "You either gimme somethin' with Prince Solaris' fancy mug on it, or you go home."

The three mares walked away, upset.

"Great, _now_ what do we do?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Those tickets are for five days from now!"

"I guess we have no choice but to wait it out," Rarity said. "I wonder why Solaris expected us to stay so long in Ponyville..."

"I think it's great!" Pinkie Pie said. "We can have fun, and I can hang with my twin brother! We could throw a Super Interdimensional Pinkie Pie Party Bubble Berry Bash!"

Rainbow Dash looked at Pinkie. "Call me crazy," she said, "but I get the sense you met Bubble Berry already."

"Yep! We had a sleepover party last night!" Pinkie said. "He's _sooo_ much FUN! Now we _have_ to meet all the other ponies we know! Like Cheerilee and Lyra Heartstrings and Ditzy Doo and—"

_"That's it!" _Rarity exclaimed suddenly.

"What's it?" Pinkie asked.

"Ditzy Doo! She's a mailmare!" Rarity said. "She can send a letter to Princess Celesti—er, that is, she can send a letter to Prince Solaris for us!"

"It's worth a shot," Rainbow Dash shrugged.

"To the post office!" Pinkie cried, pointing her hoof in the air heroically.

* * *

_Mare Universe_

Discord smiled, as he checked his pony captives. He knew this was the perfect plan to turn the Elements of Harmony into the Elements of _Harm_-ony.

Twilight and Dusk Shine had gotten wise to Discord's game. The two of them were sitting still, not saying anything to each other. _Bah. Boring know-it-alls._

Applejack and Elusive were much more entertaining. The two ponies were currently trying to strangle each other. Discord chuckled with glee, and complimented himself for the idea of putting those two together.

Ah, but his best idea was combining Fluttershy with Rainbow Blitz. The Master of Chaos had a _special _strategy in mind for them. He turned his ear towards the two ponies and listened to what they were saying.

"Oh, no," Fluttershy moaned. "I don't like being trapped in here at all!"

"I don't like it any more than you do," Rainbow Blitz said.

"What if we die in here?" Fluttershy said. "I remember the last time Discord was here, and it was...bad..."

"He said he'd let us out in two days, if none of us surrenders," Rainbow Blitz said. "What do you think he meant by that?"

"I have no idea," Fluttershy said.

Discord shook his head. What a boring conversation! He stretched out his hands and performed a little audio editing magic. Changing the things that Rainbow Blitz heard resulted in a much more interesting conversation.

"Oh, no," Fluttershy moaned. "I don't like being trapped in here at all!"

"I don't like it any more than you do," Rainbow Blitz said.

"What if we die in here?" Fluttershy said. "I'll die without ever having kissed a stallion!"

"You...you've never kissed a stallion?" Rainbow Blitz asked.

"No," Fluttershy said. "But I'd really, _really_ like to try."

"Well, then," Rainbow Blitz said, slicking back his unkempt mane. "Today's your lucky day. I'm gonna immortalize you, babe!"

Rainbow Blitz puckered up and moved in to kiss Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus had no way of expecting this to happen, and it scared her more than the fight with the changling army. She screamed and tried to escape.

"Huh? Babe, why are you moving?" Rainbow asked.

"HELP ME!" Fluttershy screamed. "HEEELP!"

Discord laughed uproariously, then took a long, relaxing drink from his lemon-cherry soda.

* * *

_Stallion Universe_

It must have been a bad day for Fluttershies, no matter _which_ universe they live in. Poor Butterscotch was also having problems. He was inside his cottage, with the door firmly locked.

"Oh, Angela Bunny, I don't know what to do," Butterscotch sighed. "Half of my friends have disappeared! Now they're in a scary world where all the ponies are _mares!_"

Angela Bunny rubbed her face against Butterscotch's leg in a comforting manner. Butterscotch picked up his friend and hugged her.

"I have to go save them, but I don't know how," Butterscotch said. "And none of my friends can help, either! Applejack is busy with the farm, and Bubble Berry—"

"Somepony say my name?" Bubble Berry asked, appearing from behind Butterscotch's couch.

Butterscotch shrieked and fell backwards. "Bubble, how did you—?" the yellow stallion said. "Don't scare me like that!"

"Ha ha ha! I'm not scary!" Bubble Berry said. "And I have _great_ news! My twin sister is town, so we're having a humongous _party!_"

"Your...sister?" Butterscotch asked. "I thought you said your family never comes to visit you."

"They _don't!_" Bubble Berry said. "They spend all their time on the rock farm! I think they're mad because the last time they visited, I accidentally covered them in cake frosting."

"Well, it's good your sister is in town," Butterscotch said. "But we've got an emergency! Elusive, Dusk and Spines have all disappeared from Ponyville!"

Bubble Berry gasped. "Elusive and Spines are _gone?_" he asked.

"Dusk Shine, too!" Butterscotch said. "There's only you, me and Applejack—"

"I don't **believe** this!" Bubble Berry said, slamming his hooves on the ground. "Spines and Elusive must have run off to get married in Las Pegasus! I **knew** they would!"

"Uh...I'm sorry, what?" Butterscotch asked.

"I guess Elusive picked Dusk to be his best stallion," Bubble Berry said. "But really, why didn't they invite the rest of us? I wanted to see the wedding! That is _so mean_ of them!"

Bubble Berry stomped around angrily, frightening Angela Bunny, who hid behind Butterscotch's hind legs.

"They didn't elope with each other," Butterscotch corrected. "They got taken to another dimension by some weird magic device!"

"_Oh,_" Bubble Berry said, instantly stopping in mid-stomp. "That makes more sense."

Butterscotch sized up the pink stallion, who had a huge grin on his face. "It does?"

"Yeah," Bubble nodded.

That seemed like a bit of a leap, even for an off-the-wall pony like BB. "You think it makes sense that ponies can travel through dimensions," Butterscotch repeated.

"That's how Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie got here, right?" Bubble Berry asked.

With that, everything clicked in Butterscotch's mind. "You _know_ about Pinkie Pie?" he asked.

"She's my twin sister!" Bubble Berry said. "We had a huge sleepover and—why are you blushing?"

"I'm... not..." Butterscotch said, blushing furiously at the thought of Pinkie Pie in pretty pink pajamas.

"You're blushing!" Bubble Berry said. "You _like_ her, don't you?"

"NO!" Butterscotch said.

"Oh my gosh, that is sooo _cute!_" Bubble Berry said. "I heard you had a crush on somepony, but I didn't know it was my sister! I can totally set you up with her!"

"You can?" Butterscotch asked hopefully. Then he shook his head. "I mean, you don't think it's weird that I like her? Because she's _you!_"

"Butter, my buddy, I always knew you'd find true love someday," Bubble Berry said, wrapping a hoof around his friend's shoulder. "Or, in this case, you have a crush on the first mare who's ever been nice to you. Either way, I'm not going to screw it up!"

"That's...nice?" Butterscotch said.

"Love is so fun, it makes me want to _sing!_" Bubble Berry said, jumping up and pulling out a microphone.

_Butterscotch, you need a mare  
Somepony to love and share_

"Please don't sing..." Butterscotch said.

_Pinkie Pie is the mare for you!  
She is the one you should pursue!  
You don't know what joy you're missing!  
I know for a fact she's good at kissing!_

"Okay, well, this has been nice, but I _really_ need to go now," Butterscotch said, taking a few steps backwards towards the door of his cottage. "Bye!"

"Huh? But I haven't finished my song!" Bubble Berry said. "I didn't even get to the chorus!"

"Sorry, but I don't want to sing about kissing mares," Butterscotch said.

Bubble Berry cracked up. "Ha ha ha! HA HA HA!" he said. "You thought—that's not—ha ha ha! You don't need to worry about that!"

"I-I don't?" Butterscotch asked.

A dark shadow passed over Bubble Berry's face, as his hair straightened. "If you even _think_ about kissing my twin sister, I am going to hurt you," Bubble Berry said. "I will hurt you very badly, for a _very_ long time."

Butterscotch shivered uncontrollably in fear.

Bubble Berry returned to his normal bubbly self. "So you don't have to worry about ever kissing her!" Bubble Berry said. "Great, that means it's settled! Come to the party tonight at seven, and I'll set you and Pinkie Pie up on a date! See you then!"

Bubble Berry bounced off, looking for more people to invite to the party. Butterscotch immediately scooped up his pet bunny, ran inside his cottage, and locked all the doors.

"Angela, do you think I could get away with never leaving my house again?" Butterscotch asked seriously.

* * *

_Mare Universe_

Spines ran through the castle as fast as her chubby legs could take her. Once she realized she Discord wasn't chasing her, she stopped to catch her breath.

"What do I do? What do I _do?_" Spines asked herself. "That monster took my friends and the princess!"

Spines' fear instantly disappeared, as the solution hit her. "There's more than _one_ Princess who can use the Elements of Harmony!" she said.

Spines made haste to Princess Luna's bedchambers. She was vaguely familiar with the castle's layout, as it resembled the castle from her own universe. Spines was almost in the home stretch, when she ran into a burly security guard.

"No dragons allowed here," he said.

Spines looked up at the large guard. He was wearing dark purple armor with bat-like wings sticking out of the sides. His appearance practically screamed "pony you do not want to mess with".

"Please, I need to talk to Princess Artemis," Spines said. "It's urgent."

"Arta-what?" the guard asked.

"Oh," Spines said. Artemis was normally a girl's name, but apparently the female Artemis was called something else. "I mean, Princess Selene?"

The guard glared at Spines.

"The big blue pony who moves the moon across the sky!" Spines said.

"Princess _Luna_ is not in the habit of meeting with ponies who don't even know her name," the guard said. "Beat it."

"But this is an emergency!" Spines said. "Discord is on the loose and he's torturing my friends!"

"Discord is a statue, kid," the guard said. "Now LEAVE!"

The guard made a sweeping motion with his hoof, and Spines went sprawling across the floor. She got up, clenched her fists, then walked over to the guard again.

"Look, I don't care if you're a dragon," the guard said. "Luna has special orders to prevent anypony from entering."

"Are you a pegasus?" Spines asked curiously.

"What kind of stupid question is that?" the guard asked. "Are you dense?"

Spines took in a deep breath and breathed out fire on the guard's bat-like wings. They quickly caught fire, causing the guard to scream and run away in search of water.

"Ha, I _thought_ those wings were just for decoration," Spines said smugly. She pushed open the doors to Luna's personal chambers and went inside. Princess Luna was on her hind legs, in front of her bed. She was wearing an 80's-style pink dance workout suit, and she was dancing like there was no tomorrow.

"Uh...Princess Luna?" Spines asked.

"AAAAAAA!" Luna screamed, when she saw Spines.

"AAAAAA!" Spines screamed, falling over backwards.

"**How dare you come in without knocking first?**" Luna demanded. "**Spike the Dragon, you shall pay for such—**wait, you're not Spike."

"I'm Spines," Spines said. "And I'm sorry for interrupting you, but we have a _major_ problem. Discord is on the loose!"

"Discord?" Luna asked. Her eyes narrowed. "Tell me _exactly_ what happened."

Spines explained the situation as best she could, while Luna quickly changed out of her workout clothes and back into her normal regal attire. The Princess did a quick fly-over the garden where Discord's statue was kept; as she feared, the statue had disappeared completely.

"You're right," Luna said grimly, as she landed on her balcony, next to Spines. "If Celestia and the Elements have been captured, then you and I are the only ones who can save Equestria from Discord's madness."

"How?" Spines asked.

"I'm not entirely sure," Luna confessed. "If we're lucky, Princess Cadance and her husband haven't left for the Crystal Empire yet. In any case, our first priority is securing the Elements of Harmony. Climb on."

Luna knelt down so Spines could climb onto her back. She warned Spines to hold tight as she flew into the sky at top speed, going towards the part of the castle where the Elements were kept. The poor baby dragon got airsickness from being so high up, but she managed to keep her head.

"But—but Discord stole the Elements!" Spines said.

"Impossible. Only the princesses can get to the Elements of Harmony," Princess Luna said. "I am sure that Discord has not touched them."

"If you say so..." Spines said.

The Princess landed, and Spines jumped off her back. Spines followed her to an impressive blue safe, with a locked drawer and a slot.

"Is this where they normally keep the Elements?" Spines wondered.

"Yes," Luna said. She carefully put her horn into the slot, and the drawer popped open, revealing Canterlot's greatest magical treasure. Instantly, a blaring alarm sounded.

Spines covered her ears with her hands. "What's happening?" she asked.

"An alarm!" Princess Luna said. "Discord must have put a guard on the Elements!" She used her magic to take out the Elements of Harmony, and she dumped all six of them on Spines. "Quickly!"

"Quickly—what?" Spines asked.

"Keep them safe," Luna said. "When the coast is clear, I will come to you." Spines made a questioning sound, as Luna touched her horn to the dragon's head and performed a quick teleportation spell. Spines—and the Elements of Harmony she was holding—vanished.

Luna raised her head and took a deep breath, preparing herself for what was about to happen. A popping sound came from behind her, shortly followed by a sinister voice. "Well, well, well," the voice said. "Somepony's trying to get the Elements of Harmony."

Princess Luna turned around, making sure her body blocked the drawer from Discord's sight, lest he notice it was empty. She discretely took a step backwards, shutting the drawer with her hindquarters.

"Discord, you foul demon!" Luna said. "Once I finish with you—"

"Princess Luna?" Discord asked, surprised. "You—weren't you banished to the moon?"

"I...escaped," Luna said tersely.

"And so did I," Discord sneered. "Let's see if you can stop me without your precious older sister to take care of you."

Luna prepared her magic and charged at Discord.


	16. Dragon Adventures

_Stallion Universe_

Rainbow Dash slammed her hoof on the counter. "What do you _mean_ you don't have any stamps?" she demanded. "This is a post office!"

"I'm sorry," the gray pegasus working there said. "We put in an order for more last week, but they haven't arrived yet! I just don't know what went wrong!"

"ARGH!" Rainbow Dash said, throwing her hooves in the air. "Forget it, then!"

She left the post office, muttering angrily about incompetent, cross-eyed morons making it impossible for her to contact Prince Solaris. Eventually, she shook it off and was about to fly away when a deep voice said, "Hey!"

Rainbow Dash looked to the left and was startled to see a red mare standing close. She was an Earth pony about two inches larger than Rainbow Dash, with eyelashes so thick and long that Rarity would have a jealous fit.

"Hey..." Rainbow Dash said in response, not sure what else to say.

The mare took a piece of hay out of her mouth. "Name's Red Gala," she said. "You Rainbow Dash?"

It took Rainbow Dash a moment to realize this was the female version of Big Macintosh. To be honest, Rainbow never spoke much with him in her own universe. It wasn't that she disliked Big Mac or anything like that; it's just that there wasn't much for the two of them to talk about. And besides, by all accounts, Big Mac didn't talk much in general.

"Yeah, I'm Rainbow Dash," Rainbow said. "What's up?"

"Been lookin' fer you fer a while now," Red Gala said. "Come with me."

Red Gala gestured her head down the road, and Rainbow Dash followed. The larger mare had a portable apple cart. She strapped herself into the cart and walked towards the market area. Along the way, she talked with Rainbow.

"What's up with you an' mah brother?" Red Gala asked, getting straight to the point.

"Applejack?" Rainbow Dash asked. _Oh, geez. Awk—ward. _"Heh heh, nothing much. We're just friends, that's all."

"Eeenope," Red Gala said easily.

"Aw, fine," Rainbow Dash said. "I like him, okay? He's really cool stallion. Pretty athletic, too. I like that in a colt."

"He like you?" Red asked.

"Sure, I guess," Rainbow Dash asked. "I mean, he _seems_ like he enjoys spending time with me. When we had a race around the farm, he was laughing his head off the whole time."

"What're yer plans fer him?" Red Gala asked suspiciously.

_Jeez, I forgot how protective the Apples are when it comes to family,_ Rainbow thought.

"I don't have any plans," she said. "I mean, I'm leaving town next week, so I can't really get..._involved _with anypony."

"Ah see," Red said. "You and AJ are just friends who like each other. That's what yer sayin'?"

"Eeeyup," Rainbow Dash said, imitating Big Mac's drawl.

Red Gala raised an eyebrow at her.

"I mean, yes, that's right," Rainbow Dash said quickly.

Red Gala tossed her hair to the side and stopped walking. She cast a critical gaze on Rainbow and said, "Now, see, that's funny you said that. Cuz the other day, AJ came home in a real bad mood. Said it was cuzza some lying, trashy pegasus mare."

Rainbow stood up to her full height and unfolded her wings to make herself look bigger. She leaned forward, getting right into Red Gala's face. "Hey! Who you calling _trashy_, pal?" she asked.

Red Gala, to her credit, didn't back off. She stiffened up and glared right down at Rainbow. "What are you doin' with Applejack?" she asked in response. "Ah don't take kindly to floozies who hurt mah little brother!"

"I'm not a flu-whatever," Rainbow said hotly. "Your brother is just a stubborn jerk who refuses to believe me! That's _his_ problem, not mine!"

"Nnnope!" Red Gala said. "_You_ messed him up; _you_ fix him!"

"No way!" Rainbow Dash said. "I'm not apologizing to a colt when I didn't do anything wrong! That's against the Mare Code! I don't care _how_ good of a kisser he is!"

"KISSER?" Red Gala shouted.

"Oh, crud," Rainbow Dash said.

Flames seemed to erupt out of the red mare's nostrils. "YOU KISSED MAH BROTHER?" she shouted.

"No!" Rainbow Dash said quickly. "He kissed me!

"NNNNOPE!" Red Gala shouted. She slammed her large hooves on the ground three times. "Nope! Nope! Nope!"

* * *

_One minute later..._

In the marketplace, all the vendors were putting the last minute touches on their stands before the market opened for the day.

About forty yards away from the large fountain, a green pony with a turnip for a cutie mark was humming to himself. His birth name was Frank Equinius, but he called himself "Turnip Taster". He was standing on his hind legs, putting up a new sign over his booth.

_Two turnips for a bit, five turnips for two bits! _the sign proclaimed.

His next-door salesman, a pony named Eggward, stopped to take a look. "Nice sign!" he said. "Think it'll work?"

"It better!" Turnip said. "It cost me thirty bits to have it made!"

"Thirty? Are you nuts?" Eggward asked. "You could have gotten a sign like that for _five!_"

"You wait and see," Turnip said proudly. "It'll be the best move I ever—"

"GANGWAY!" a voice shouted.

Turnip and Eggward barely had time to step backwards when a light blue pegasus mare flew right between their two stalls. She was soon followed by an angry red mare, pulling an apple cart. Red Gala didn't even slow down for a second as the apple cart demolished Turnip and Eggward's stalls.

"Augh!" Eggward shouted. "My eggs! I spent an hour getting them ready!"

"My _sign!_" Turnip shouted. "It's ruined!"

"You'll pay for this, Apple Family!" Eggward promised.

* * *

_Mare Universe_

The world was a strange blur of blue and white for a moment, before Spines landed butt-first on a bridge. The Elements of Harmony all fell onto the ground next to her.

"What the—?" she asked. "Where am I?"

Spines got up and looked around. She instantly recognized her current location as Ponyville. It was starting to get dark, so there weren't too many ponies still out on the streets.

"Huh," Spines said. One second, she was on an adventure fighting Discord, and the next, she was back home, where nothing important seemed to be happening. It was a rather unexpected change.

Spines decided to follow Luna's instruction to keep the Elements of Harmony safe. She knew the perfect hiding spot in the library, in a hidden bookshelf. She picked up the various elements and travelled the familiar path to her home.

Spines opened the library door—unlocked, as usual—and went inside. The first thing she did was put the Elements on a table, so she wouldn't have to carry them anymore. She was walking towards the hidden bookshelf, when she caught sight of a mirror.

"Hmmm..." Spines said, looking at her reflection.

She dashed to the table with the Elements of Harmony and put on one of the necklaces. She returned to the mirror and examined her reflection. As she had suspected, she looked _gorgeous_.

"Lookin' good, Spines, lookin' _real_ good," she told herself, as she started posing.

"Is somepony there?" a voice asked from upstairs.

"Eep!" Spines said. She wasn't alone in the library!

"Uh, nopony is here!" Spines called upstairs.

"Oh, okay," the voice said. Spines didn't recognize who it was; it sounded like a young boy. After a pause, the boy said, "Hey, wait a sec! If nopony is there, who answered me?"

"Uh...oh..." Spines said. She reached behind her neck to take off the necklace, but her fingers fumbled with the clasp.

A small purple dragon came down the stairs. About halfway down, he caught sight of Spines and his eyes went wide.

"Augh!" Spike cried.

"Aaaah!" Spines cried in response. _Is that ME?_

Spike's dragon instincts instantly told him that Spines' long ears indicated she was female. "You-yuh-yuh, you're a _girl dragon?_" Spike asked.

"Uhm...yes!" Spines said. "My name is Spines."

Spike ran as quickly as he could to her side. "My name's Spike! I'm in charge of the Golden Oaks Library! I've never seen a girl dragon before! Wow, you look so much like me! What brings you here to Ponyville?"

Spines took a step backwards, to get a better view of Spike. He looked _disturbingly_ similar to her. In fact, the only real difference between the two was that Spines had longer ears. "Did...did Twilight tell you what she's doing in Canterlot?"

"You know Twilight?" Spike asked. "That's great! She's my number one assistant, you know—totally not the other way around—"

"_Did she tell you what she's doing in Canterlot?_" Spines repeated.

"Huh?" Spike asked. "She's investigating some place where all the stallions are mares. What does that have to do with—ahhhhh!"

"Yeah..." Spines said.

"_You're me as a girl?_" Spike asked. "No way! That's crazy! That's impossible! That's—actually, that explains why you're so good-looking."

"Thanks," Spines said. "You're pretty handsome yourself."

"Heh, that's what all the ladies tell me!" Spike said proudly.

Spines was a bit surprised to hear this. "Which ladies?" she asked.

"...None of them," Spike admitted. "Especially not Rarity..."

Spines grabbed Spike and gave him a manly dragon-hug. "I feel your pain, Spike," she said. "I feel your pain."

* * *

_Stallion Universe_

The air was electric in Ponyville that night, as Bubble Berry was putting on his biggest party ever. He even managed to rent out the large town hall for this special occasion. The pink party pony was bouncing up and down with glee, as guests from all over appeared.

"Hi, Green Onion! Hello, Glittering Gown! Cute dress! Hello, Harpsy!" Bubble Berry said.

One of the most dependable ponies in town showed up, wearing his usual hat. "Howdy," Applejack said.

"Oh my gosh! Applejack! You made it!" Bubble Berry said. "I didn't think you'd come! Nopony's seen you in a long time!"

"Well, Ah've been busy lately," Applejack said. "That's why Ah came here. I need a break from mah life."

"Oh no!" Bubble Berry gasped. "What's wrong? You're not overworking yourself again, are you?"

"Nah, nothing like that," Applejack said. "Ah'm just kinda mad, 'cause my sister ran up a bill fer 500 bits this morning."

"Whaaat?" Bubble Berry asked. "That's more than it cost to rent the hall! What did she do?"

"She won't tell me!" Applejack said. "I swear, sometimes that girl has less sense than a cow farmer in a sheep shearing competition. Anyway, what's the big party for?"

"Didn't you read the invitation?" Bubble Berry asked. "It's to celebrate the arrival of my _twin sister!_"

"Uh..." Applejack scratched his head. "Ah thought that was a mistake. You don't have any sisters."

Bubble Berry leaned close to his friend. "Secretly, she's me from the Mare Universe, but we're just pretending she's my sister to make things easier on everypony."

"Mare Uni—awh, not you too!" Applejack said. "First, that Rainbow Trash says she's from another universe, and then Dusk Shine tries to get me to believe her story, an' now—"

"PINKIE!" Bubble Berry called, sticking his head inside the building. "Could you come here for a sec? Applejack just arrived!"

"Hey, don't ignore me!" Applejack said.

"I'm listening to you," Bubble Berry said. "You were saying I'm a liar who's trying to trick you. That's pretty harsh smack, Jack."

"Aw, Ah didn't mean it like that!" Applejack said. "Ah'm just saying, there's no such thing as another universe."

"Yes there is!" Bubble Berry said. "Just wait and see."

It wasn't too much longer before Bubble's proof came. "Applejack's here?" Pinkie Pie said, jumping out the front door. "Oh, he is! Hi, Applejack! I'm Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkie had a huge grin on her face. Next to her, Bubble Berry had an equal-sized grin on his face. The overwhelming pink enthusiasm caused Applejack to take several steps back, as he looked at the two near-identical ponies.

"Okay, y'all _do_ look like twins!" Applejack said.

"That's because we're the same pony!" Pinkie Pie and Bubble Berry said, at the exact same time.

"I'm from the much nicer Mare Universe!" Pinkie Pie said, striking a cool pose.

"And I'm from the much manlier Stallion Universe!" Bubble Berry said, striking a pose of his own.

"And we're the best party throwers in the known multiverse!" Pinkie and Bubble said, at the same time, striking a series of symmetrical poses.

A bead of sweat appeared on Applejack's forehead. "Please don't talk at the same time anymore," he said.

"Darling, don't forget me!" Rarity said, pushing her way out the front door. "I want to meet Applejack, too! He's our only friend we haven't met!"

Applejack's jaw dropped when he saw the white unicorn. "E-Elusive?" he asked.

"Well, _no_," Rarity said. "I'm his female counterpart."

"And this is a counterPARTY!" Pinkie said.

Rarity posed, showing off her fabulous mane. "My name is Rarity," she said. "Owner of the Carousel Boutique."

The farmer pony's brain tried to process this information, as he looked at the two mares. "Then, they are—uh..." Applejack's eyes rolled up into his head, and he collapsed on the ground.

"He fainted," Bubble Berry noted.

"My beauty sometimes has that effect on ponies," Rarity said, simply.

"Mine too!" Pinkie Pie said. "Well, maybe it's not my _beauty_, but I've made at least three ponies drop into a dead faint before!"

"Me, too!" Bubble Berry said. "How weird!"

* * *

_Mare Universe_

Spines and Spike were at one of the small tables, looking at the most powerful weapons in all of Equestria.

"So these are the Elements of Harmony, huh?" Spike said. "Which one is which?"

"I don't know," Spines said. "In my universe, they're not necklaces."

"Hmmm..." Spike said. "Well, I know there's an Element of Kindness, and...uh...I don't remember the others."

"Dusk Shine has one, so maybe there's an Element of Book Reading?" Spines suggested.

"Hey, maybe!" Spike said. "And Pinkie must have the Element of Saying Random Things!"

"So if you're really kind, read books, and say random things, you can use three of the elements?" Spines asked.

"Yeah!" Spike said. "So we just need to find some ponies who are like our friends, and we can save Equestria!"

"Who?" Spines asked. "I don't know anypony here in your world."

"Hmmm..." Spines said, thinking.

* * *

_Fifteen Minutes Later..._

Inside Sugarcube Corner, Ditzy Doo was in the process of devouring her bag of muffins, when two familiar faces walked inside.

"Hi, Lyra! Hello, Dr. Hooves!" Ditzy said, waving her hoof at them.

The stallion sighed. "I told you a hundred times, my name is Time Turner," he said.

"No, it's not!" Ditzy said. "You're really a British Time Lord! Your cutie mark proves it!"

"I have an hourglass for a cutie mark, because I watch a lot of _Days of Our Lives!_" Time Turner snapped. "It has nothing to do with time travel!"

Lyra put her hoof on Time Turner's shoulder. "Don't bother arguing," she said. "Ditzy can't even keep her own name straight, half the time."

"I'm not Ditzy! My name is Derpy! Derpy Hooves, because I'm married to Dr. Hooves!" Ditzy said proudly. "He used to be a human, and now he's a pony!"

"I wish I never told her about humans..." Lyra muttered.

Suddenly, the door to Sugarcube Corners burst open, as Bon Bon ran inside at full speed.

"Lyra! Everypony!" Bon Bon said, gasping with exhaustion. "I'm glad I found you! There's an emergency!"

"An emergency?" Lyra asked. "What is it?"

"There's no time to explain!" Bon Bon said. "Cover your ears, now!"

"Cover our—what do you—?"

A loud shout burst into the room, coming clear from the other side of town. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS ELEMENTS OF HARMONY WIELDERS, YEAH!"

All the ponies who didn't cover their ears had to be rushed to the hospital with broken eardrums.


	17. Cutie Mark Crusaders Attack

_Stallion Universe_

Bubble Berry was waving a wet towel over Applejack's head when the farmer pony's eyes snapped open.

"Hey, you're awake!" Bubble said. "Cool!"

Applejack jumped to his hooves. "Where's Rainbow Dash?" he asked.

"Uh, maybe you should take it easy for a while..." Bubble Berry said. "You just fainted and—"

"Rainbow Dash! Ah need to talk to her!" Applejack said. He picked up his hat from the ground and put it on. "Where is she?"

"She's by the punch table," Bubble said. "Hey, speaking of which, Berry Punch brought some—"

Applejack didn't hear the rest of Bubble's sentence, as he immediately made a beeline for the punch table. He pushed his way through some dancing ponies to get there, and he didn't stop until he was right in front of Rainbow Dash.

"Rainbow!" Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash put her glass down on the table. "Oh...hey, AJ," she said cautiously. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Ah'm sorry," Applejack said.

"What?"

"Ah came here to apologize," Applejack said. "Ah just met Pinkie and Rarity and...you were telling the truth all along. Ah'm sorry fer not believing you about the other universe."

Rainbow felt like someone smacked her behind the ears. "So you're not mad at me anymore?" she asked.

"Eeeenope," Applejack said. "And Ah'm sorry fer calling you a liar, and kicking you in the face."

"Yeah, that kind of hurt," Rainbow Dash said, rubbing her eyes.

"And Ah'm sorry fer telling Dusk Shine that you're a cheap bimbo, and—"

"Okay, okay, I forgive you already!" Rainbow Dash said. "Sheesh! You don't have to tell me _everything!_"

Applejack looked down at the floor, slightly ashamed. "Ah'm just tryin' to be honest," he said.

"And I appreciate that," Rainbow Dash said. She held out her hoof. "Friends?"

"Friends," Applejack said, shaking Rainbow's hoof.

"Great, now that the mushy stuff is out of the way, let's _party!_" Rainbow Dash said. "You need to see my awesome dance moves!"

* * *

_Mare Universe_

Discord turned the royal throne room into his own personal theater. He threw some popcorn in his mouth, while watching the three screens onstage. Each screen showed a pair of his victims.

Dusk Shine and Twilight had started using lip reading and series of hoof motions, in order to communicate. In the other prison, Elusive and Applejack were glaring daggers at each other. In the final prison, Fluttershy was trying to hide in corner, as far away from Rainbow Blitz as possible.

"Enjoying the show?" Discord asked his fellow movie-goers, the Royal Sisters.

Princesses Celestia and Luna were currently trapped in stone. But since that would make torturing them boring, Discord had unfrozen their heads. Not their unicorn horns, of course—Discord wasn't stupid enough to do something like that—but their heads were normal.

"This is cruel!" Princess Luna said. "How dare you torture our friends?"

"When they turn you back to stone, I'll _destroy_ your statue!" Celestia promised.

"Tut tut," Discord said. "I expected better behavior from somepony like you, Celly. Popcorn?"

Luna took a mouthful of popcorn, but she was in for a surprise when it turned out she couldn't swallow anything with a stone stomach. She ended up coughing and spitting out the food, while Discord laughed.

"How long this madness go on?" Celestia asked.

"As long as I want it to," Discord said. Sure, he had told the Elements of Harmony that their torture would only last for two days, but he lied. It would last until all of them were broken.

Speaking of which, Rainbow Blitz was making another attempt at kissing Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus screamed in horror.

"PLEASE! LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Fluttershy yelled. "I surrender! I'll do whatever you want! _Just get me away from this monster!_"

"And _that_ is the sound of victory," Discord said. He snapped his fingers, and all six ponies fell off the screens and onstage. It was rather disorienting for them, to say the least.

"Game over!" Discord said. "Fluttershy surrendered!"

"What?" Twilight asked.

Crying her eyes out, Fluttershy ran to Twilight and hugged her. "He said _horrible_ things to me!" the yellow mare sobbed. "Horrible, _horrible_ things!"

"Hey, she came on to _me!_" Rainbow Blitz said.

Elusive just shook his head and sighed. Dusk Shine muttered something about their friend being a sleazy mare-chaser.

"You didn't even last twelve hours!" Discord said. "I _knew_ you were weaklings!"

"You cheated!" Twilight said. "You changed what we were saying to each other, so nopony heard the right things!"

"Maaaaybe," Discord said. "Either way, I win, you lose. And you know what _that_ means!"

Discord pulled out a top hat and a cane. Fancy music started to play as he danced.

_You won't get the Elements of Harmony!  
Eternal chaos will rule the land!  
Nopony can—_

There was a loud thud, as the main doors to the Royal Hall burst open. "Stop right there, Discord!" a voice shouted.

"Yes, please!" Luna said.

"Huh?" Discord asked. Everypony (except the stuck-in-stone) princesses turned to see an unlikely group of heroes running down the aisle of the theater. It was Spike, Spines, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Big Macintosh. Big Macintosh was there, because he was the one who paid for the train tickets to Canterlot, and because he wanted to make sure his sister and his friends would be safe.

[**Note to Young Readers: **Always have proper adult supervision when doing dangerous things like fighting the Lord of Chaos.]

"Leave our friends alone!" Spines said.

Discord sighed. "You know, I'm sort of busy right now," he said. "Would it bother you terribly to come back later? Say...the 12th of Never?"

"This can't wait!" Spike said. "We have come to defeat you!"

"YOU?" Discord asked. He broke into giggles. "You're just a bunch of fillies!"

"Hey!" Sweetie Belle said. "Just 'cause we're small, it doesn't mean we can't stop you!"

"Oh, _this_ should be good," Discord said. He clapped his hands, and everypony switched locations. Now Twilight Sparkle, her friends, and the princesses were sitting in the audience. They were literally stuck to their seats, watching Discord onstage with the small children.

"Change of plans, everypony!" Discord said. "I'm going to kill your family members in front of you now! Won't that be _fun?_"

"Nnnnope!" Big Macintosh said.

"There's no way you can win!" Spike said, pulling out a special suitcase and opening it. "Because we have the Elements of Harmony!"

"Yes, yes, those are very convincing replicas," Discord said dismissively. "Did you make them in Arts and Crafts during school?"

"No!" Spike said hotly. "We got the Elements and split up according to who's who. I'm Twilight Sparkle!"

"Twilight Sparkle?" Discord asked, delighted. He pulled out a magnifying glass and looked at Spike through it. "Hmmm...I recognize your purple coat, but you don't seem to be a unicorn."

"I'm serious!" Spike said. "Twilight's my best friend, so I get to replace her!"

"Spike!" Twilight called from the audience. "Only a _unicorn_ can be the Element of Magic!"

Spike paled. "Twilight's element is _magic?_" he asked. "I thought it was...uh, never mind."

Discord chuckled again. As far as he was concerned, this failed attempt to stop him had become quite amusing. "Oh, no, please, go on," Discord said. "I want to hear _everypony's_ Elements!"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo said. She jumped up and took one of the Elements of Harmony from the suitcase. Putting it on, she proudly said, "I'm representing Rainbow Dash and the Element of Awesomeness!"

"Right on," Rainbow Blitz cheered.

"And Ah get to be mah big sister!" Applebloom said, taking an element for herself. "So that makes me...the Element Of Being an Apple Farmer Who Talks With An Accent!"

Applejack groaned. "That is _not_ mah main character trait!" she said.

"And mah brother here represents Fluttershy's Element of Not Talking Very Much!" Applebloom said.

"Eeeyup!" Big Macintosh said, putting on the tiara for the Element of Magic (because the necklaces would clash horrible with his yoke).

"And I'm Rarity!" Sweetie Belle said. "I'm the Element of—"

"Hey!" Spines said. "That's not how we decided to split things up! _I'm_ Rarity!"

"But I want to help my sister!" Sweetie Belle said.

"We all agreed that you're Pinkie Pie!" Spines said.

"Fine..." Sweetie Belle said, slumping back on her hind legs.

"I'm Rarity, and I'm the Element of Beauty," Spines said, putting on a necklace.

Sweetie Belle muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Discord asked.

"Everypony says I'm Pinkie Pie, because I have a high-pitched voice," Sweetie Belle said. She grabbed a necklace and put it on. "So I'm the Element of High-Pitching!"

"Remind me to have you join our company's baseball team," Discord said. "Well, I must say, I'm absolutely _terrified_ of the new Elements of Harmony, but you seem to be missing a dragon."

"Uh, I'm not that important!" Spike protested.

"But you're the leader of our group," Scootaloo said.

"FINE!" Spike said. He grabbed a necklace and put it on. "I represent Twilight Sparkle, as the Element of Writing Long Lists."

In the audience, Twilight had the urge to smash her head against a wall repeatedly.

Discord clapped his hands in delight and said, "Okay, Elements of Harmony! Fire when ready!"

The six ponies struck a pose, then froze in place for a few seconds.

"Uh...how do we use them?" Spike asked.

"I don't know!" Spines said. "I thought you just said who's what, and they come to life or something!"

"You know, I hate to admit it, but I think you are..._out of your elements!_" Discord said. "Literally!"

"What do we do?" Applebloom asked. "They aren't working!"

Princess Celestia spoke up. "Forget about the Elements of Harmony, my little ponies," she said. "Focus on the bonds of friendship you share! Let the order of love be the weapon against chaos!"

"Oh, jeez," Discord said. "Celly, have you been reading romance novels again? That is the biggest load of—huh?"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders (and friends) took Celestia's advice. They all closed their eyes and focused on the things they loved, and their desire to protect each other. The Elements of Harmony started to glow slightly.

"No, that's impossible!" Discord said.

Everypony in the room soon became blinded, as a rainbow appeared from out of nowhere and filled up the entire area. Discord howled in pain, as his body slowly turned to stone.

"Nooo!" Discord yelled. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Eventually, the rainbow light disappeared, and all of Discord's magic along with it. The throne room was turned back to normal, the princesses were freed, and the mirror to the Stallion Universe was repaired. The only indication that anything had happened was a statue of Discord, lying on the ground.

"Ha! Take _that!_" Scootaloo boasted.

"WE DID IT!" Spike cried.

"YEAH!" the Cutie Mark Crusaders shouted.

Twilight and the others ran up to Equestria's newest heroes. Applejack congratulated Applebloom on a job well done, while Dusk Shine and Twilight both hugged their dragon assistants. Elusive somewhat awkwardly introduced himself to Sweetie Belle, and Rainbow Blitz tried to apologize to Fluttershy.

"Discord has been stopped, before he managed to leave this castle," Princess Celestia said. "This is a good thing, indeed."

"I could have stopped Discord myself, if he hadn't snuck up on me," Luna commented.

"_Suuure_," Celestia said. "Didn't he defeat you in under a minute?"

"I was distracted!" Luna said. "I was getting the Elements to safety, you know!"

"And you did well, sister," Princess Celestia said. "Just not as well as this group of fillies."

"Hmmmph," Luna said.

Princess Celestia stepped towards the group of chattering ponies. "Excuse me, everypony," she said. "I would like to extend my thanks to all of you. You have made Equestria a safer place."

"You hear that?" Applebloom whispered to her friends. "The princess likes us! Wait 'til Diamond Tiara hears about this!"

"I would like to add my congratulations," a deep voice said. "For young ones, you did quite well."

Everypony turned to see two royal stallions, standing on the far side of the room. The ponies from the stallion universe instantly recognized them.

"Prince Solaris!" Dusk Shine said. "Prince Artemis! You're here!"

"Our counterparts..." Luna said to herself.

Applejack scratched her head. "Dang if this night just keeps getting' weirder and weirder," she said. "Who're these fellas?"

"They're the Princes from the Stallion World, of course," Elusive told her.

Fluttershy blushed, as she noticed how buff the stallion version of Luna was. For a pony, Artemis was pretty ripped.

Princess Celestia and Prince Solaris stood face to face, and at the same time, they did a royal salute. "Welcome to my kingdom," Celestia said. "It is good to see you and your brother again."

"My apologies," Solaris said. "We wanted to come here the instant we saw that Discord was on the loose. Unfortunately, for some reason, the mirror didn't start working until five minutes ago."

"I believe that's because Discord broke our version of the mirror," Celestia said.

Solaris nodded. "That would explain it," he said. "Fortunately, it seems that you didn't need our help after all."

Prince Artemis and Princess Luna were having a conversation of their own, about the different constellations in their worlds. Most ponies would have found their conversation boring, but the two of them were fascinated by it.

The other ponies, led by Dusk Shine, approached the Royal Princes. "Prince Solaris, I can't tell you _how glad_ I am to see you," Dusk said.

"Not half as glad as I am," Rainbow Blitz said. "This past week has been one disaster after another."

"I am glad to see you, too, my little ponies," Prince Solaris said. "I trust you enjoyed your time here in the Mare Universe?"

"It was...interesting," Rainbow Blitz said, causing Celestia and Solaris to chuckle.

"Now that you're here, does this mean it's time for everypony to go back home where they belong?" Elusive asked.

"What? No, of course not!" Prince Solaris said. "You just defeated Discord! It's time for a celebration!"

"Huh?" almost everypony asked.

Prince Artemis stroked his beard. "As I understand it, Bubble Berry and Pinkie Pie are having a large interdimensional party, right about now. We merely came here to give you your invitations."

"A Pinkie Pie party? In the colt world?" Applebloom asked excitedly. "Can we go, sis? Can we? Can we?"

"Ah dunno..." Applejack said. She looked at her brother (who was still wearing the Element of Magic tiara for some inexplicable reason).

"Eeeyup!" Big Macintosh said.

"Yay!" all the Cutie Mark Crusaders cheered.

"Excellent!" Solaris said. "No time to waste, then! The party has already started!"

The large, happy group went from the throne room to the room with the mirror to the Stallion Universe. Everypony went through the mirror, one by one. The last three ponies to go through were Princess Celestia, Prince Solaris and Twilight Sparkle. Twilight hesitated before going through.

"Is there a problem, Twilight?" Princess Celestia asked.

"Yes," Twilight said. "I don't understand what happened here tonight. I've studied the Elements of Harmony, and they shouldn't have stopped Discord."

"Ah," Princess Celestia said. "I think Solaris would be able to answer your question."

Solaris blushed slightly. "Okay, you caught me," he said. He walked over to part of the wall and tapped his horn against it, causing a suitcase to come into view. He opened it, to reveal several golden collars and a top hat.

"These are _our_ Elements of Harmony," Prince Solaris said. "Artemis and I used them to defeat Discord."

"So the fillies _didn't _stop Discord?" Twilight asked. "But...why would you make it seem like they did?"

"It will make them happy to believe they are heroes," Solaris said. "And standing up to Discord certainly makes them brave enough to be considered heroes. What harm could it do?"

"If Discord escapes again, he's going to be mad that a bunch of fillies defeated him," Twilight said.

"Hopefully, he'll be so embarrassed that he won't try to escape again," Celestia said. "I think this time, I'll try putting his statue inside a volcano."

"Good plan," Solaris said.


	18. Best Party Ever!

The Interdimensional Pinkie Pie Party Bubble Berry Bash was quickly renamed "The Mare Universe Party", once the group showed up. Most of the stallions in Stallion World were extremely happy to see so many pretty young mares join the party.

"BEST PARTY EVER!" Pinkie Pie and Bubble Berry shouted.

"This party has been _horrible_ so far," Rarity confided in her friends. "Thank _Celestia_ you're here."

"You're welcome," Princess Celestia said.

Rarity's jaw dropped open, as she tried to think of a proper response to that.

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Rarity, I thought you were having a great time here in Stallion World!" Pinkie said.

"Yeah, what happened to finding the perfect stallion?" Rainbow Dash asked, nudging Rarity with her elbow.

Rarity sighed. "Here, let me show you," she said.

Rarity walked about eight feet away, where a group of three colts were chatting.

"Oh, I like this song!" Rarity said loudly. "Let's dance!"

"All right!" the green pony said enthusiastically.

A larger colt hit the first pony. "Hey, she was talking to _me!_" he said.

"No, she was talking to _me!_" the first pony said.

"You guys are both idiots!" the third pony said. "Clearly, she wants to dance with _me!_"

As the three stallions broke out into a hoof fight, Rarity sighed and walked back to her friends.

"You see?" Rarity asked. "Colts are fine, but too many of them at once is a problem. A lady has to have her mare time, you know?"

"So your decision to stay away from the colts here _doesn't_ have anything to do with your crush on Elusive?" Pinkie teased.

"You have a crush on your colt self?" Twilight asked, shocked.

Rarity blushed. "I didn't know he was me when I asked him out!" she said.

"But...how could you _not know?_" Twilight asked. "The two of you are practically twins!"

"...I don't want to talk about it," Rarity said.

* * *

In the fillies' area, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were excitedly comparing notes with their colt selves, trying to see if there were any cutie marks they hadn't attempted yet.

"So you tried fencing, fence building, _and_ fence climbing?" Sweetie Belle asked. "But nothing?"

"Nothing!" Applebuck said. "What cutie marks did _you_ try to get today?"

"Weren't you paying attention?" Silver Bell admonished his friend. "They were too busy fighting Eris to get cutie marks!"

"Yeah!" Scooteroll said. "I never knew fillies could be so cool! You should get cutie marks just for that!"

"Cutie Marks for saving Equestria?" Scootaloo wondered.

"Yeah!" Applebloom said. "Maybe we got our cutie marks in Discord Defeating!"

"Or Interdimensional Travelling!" Sweetie Belle chimed in. "Let's check!"

Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all turned around and shoved their flanks together, up in the air. When this happened, the male CMCs turned bright red and looked in another direction.

"Awww..." Scootaloo said. "Nothing!"

* * *

The two dragons were cutting a rather large rug on the dance floor.

"You know, we make a pretty good team," Spike said.

"Yeah," Spines agreed. "I got the Elements of Harmony, and you figured out how to use them!"

"If it wasn't for us, Equestria would have been doomed!" Spike said. "Dragons rule!"

The two of them did a high-five with their tails, which looked rather nice. Their tail spikes accidentally got tangled together, though, and they had to spend five minutes getting unstuck.

* * *

"So, Elusive, see any mares you like?" Rainbow Blitz asked.

"Don't be ridiculous," Elusive said. "I'm not going to try anything romantic with the female version of one of my friends."

"I dunno," Blitz said. "I tried putting the moves on Rarity, you know. She kicked me in the face."

"Rarity is certainly a classy lady," Elusive said. "I wonder if she'd be offended if I designed a gown for her..."

* * *

"This is certainly more fun than the Grand Galloping Gala, isn't it?" Princess Celestia asked, as she took the last slice of cake.

"Assuredly," Prince Solaris said. "Nopony got to have any of the cake at our gala, after Elusive picked up Princess Bluebelle and threw her into it."

"Did I ever mention how glad I am that I missed that gala?" Artemis asked.

"You're not fooling anypony," Solaris said. "I'm sure you would have loved seeing that."

"It _did_ sound like an entertaining rampage," Artemis allowed.

The royal conversation was interrupted, when Rainbow Dash came up to the group. "Um...Princess Celestia?" Rainbow asked. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Hello, Rainbow Dash," Celestia said. "What can I do for you?"

"Well...it's about the Wonderbolts Tryouts," Rainbow Dash said. "I made the tryouts here in the Stallion Universe, but not in our home. Do you think they'll still let me join the training program?"

"Most likely not," Solaris said.

"I'll tell you what, though," Princess Celestia said. "I'll help you submit an application to the Wonderbolts Training Academy."

"But I already did that, like, a _year_ ago!" Rainbow Dash said. "Their waiting list is super long!"

Celestia leaned in towards Rainbow Dash. "I think I can make sure your application goes up to the top of the waiting list," she whispered.

"Really?" Rainbow Dash asked. "That's so awesome! Thank you! Thank you!"

* * *

Not everypony was enjoying the party. The two shyest ponies were grouped together, and neither of them liked it very much. Whenever their teal eyes met each other, they instantly shied away.

"So..." Fluttershy said eventually. "Do you like...animals?"

"Yes," Butterscotch said.

"Me, too," Fluttershy said.

She pawed the ground awkwardly, while Butterscotch focused his attention on the ceiling.

Pinkie Pie bounced over. "Hey, you two chatterboxes!" she said, pulling them both into a group hug. "Having a good time?"

"Oh...oh yes, this party is lovely," Fluttershy said.

"I...I'm enjoying it a lot," Butterscotch said.

"Great!" Pinkie said. "Let me know if you need anything! I'm the party host!"

Pinkie bounced away, and Butterscotch watched her go. He bit his lower lip. "Pinkie is...nice," he said.

"She's a good friend," Fluttershy agreed.

"I like her," Butterscotch said.

"Me too," Fluttershy said.

The two of them were silent until Bubble Berry popped out of Fluttershy's mane (causing the yellow mare to shriek in surprise). Bubble leaned in towards Butterscotch, a suspicious look on his face.

"Did I just see you hugging my sister?" Bubble asked.

"N-no!" Butterscotch said. "She—she hugged me!"

"I said you could make friends with her, not _touch_ her!" Bubble Berry said. "If you even _think_ about putting the moves on my sister, I am going to—"

"Hey!" Pinkie Pie said, popping out of Bubble Berry's mane. "Are you threatening my Butter Buddy?"

"No! Well, maybe!" Bubble Berry said.

Pinkie did a backflip off of Bubble's back and landed on the ground, so she could glare directly at her colt self.

"I just don't want him to hurt your feelings!" Bubble Berry said. "I mean, look at him! He's obviously a mare chaser! He's got the 'strong and silent colt' thing down pat!"

"Nuh uh!" Pinkie said, poking Bubble with her hoof. "He's just shy, and you're not helping!"

"Um...I can go away now, if that's okay..." Butterscotch said, shrinking backwards.

"Yes!" Bubble said.

"No!" Pinkie said at the same time.

The two pink ponies began arguing with each other, while Butterscotch and Fluttershy discreetly went somewhere else. The argument lasted for five minutes, and it ended with both of them in tears, hugging each other for dear life.

"I'm so sorry!" Pinkie Pie said. "I'll never yell at you again!"

"I'll never make fun of your weight again!" Bubble Berry said. "Besides, I'm way fatter than you!"

"You got _that_ right, Tubby!" Pinkie Pie said.

Bubble Berry bounced once. "I'm so glad we're best friends again!" he said. "Want to get some cake to celebrate?"

"I think Princess Celestia and Prince Solaris ate it all," Pinkie said.

"What? No way!" Bubble Berry said. "I baked a _lot_ of cake!"

* * *

Applejack shook her head, as she saw Big Macintosh chatting away with Red Gala. She hadn't seen her brother talk so much since...well, for a long time. Applejack turned to the right, when Twilight Sparkle popped up in front of her.

"Ack!" Applejack said.

"Hey, Applejack!" Twilight said quickly. "Don't go here!"

"Huh?" Applejack asked.

"You _really_ don't want to go here!" Twilight said, trying to block Applejack with her body. "Let's just move on and—"

"What are you trying to—?" Applejack asked, as she tried to peer over Twilight. Over Twilight's back, Applejack got a good look at the corner of the room. Even though it was somewhat obscured by shadows, anypony could clearly see that Rainbow Dash was busy kissing the male Applejack.

"WHAAAAAA?" Applejack shouted. She quickly shoved her way past Twilight "OH, HAY NO!"

Rainbow Dash and Applejack broke off the kiss and looked at the disturbance. Rainbow Dash paled when she saw her angry friend.

"Gotta go now, BYE!" Rainbow Dash said, taking to the air, where nopony could reach her. She flew directly towards the door.

"RAINBOW!" Applejack shouted.

"I'm on it!" Twilight said. She focused on her magic, particularly, her levitation spell. A purplish aura surrounded Rainbow Dash and dragged her back to the Applejacks.

"You're not getting away that easily," Twilight said.

"Thank you," Applejack said. "Now can somepony explain what's going on here?"

"Uh...Nope?" Male Applejack offered.

"Applejack and I kind of have...a thing together," Rainbow Dash said.

"A thing," Applejack said. "You have a thing fer an apple farming pony who looks like me, talks like me, and, oh, _has the exact same name as me?!_"

Rainbow Dash tried to hide behind Male Applejack. "Please don't kill me," she said.

Twilight stepped forward, in case her intervention would be needed. "Calm down, Applejack," she said.

Applejack took a deep breath, then loudly exhaled it through her nostrils.

"Hey, somepony call my name?" Rainbow Blitz asked, sticking his nose into the area.

"Ah caught our doubles here, kissing each other!" Applejack said.

"What?" Rainbow Blitz asked. He looked intently at Applejack and Rainbow Dash. "Applejack kissed Mare Me? That's gross, dude!"

"Ah didn't kiss her 'cause she's _you!_" Applejack protested. "Ah kissed her 'cause she's the purdiest, nicest, most considerate—"

"Totally doesn't sound like me," Rainbow Blitz interrupted. "I think he's lying."

"Ah agree!" Applejack said. "They're obviously up ta somethin'!"

"I disagree," Twilight Sparkle said. "They _must_ like each other. Why else would they be kissing for so long?"

"Twi, no offense, but this here is a personal matter between the Applejacks and Rainbows," Applejack said. "We'll take care of it from here."

Twilight frowned and walked away, as Male Applejack started talking about how love knows no bounds, while the two Rainbows began growling at each other.

The lavender pony shook her head. She was _so_ glad that she made the decision to forswear dating, so she could focus on her studies. Colts were nice in their way, but Twilight definitely had no intention of become one of those mindless stallion-chasers she had as roommates in college.

Twilight made her way around the dance floor, when she spotted her double, sitting against a wall and looking forlorn.

"Dusk?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, hey, Twilight," Dusk Shine said, looking up. "How's it going?"

"You don't look so good," Twilight said. "What's wrong? Don't you like the party?"

"No, the party's fine, I guess." Dusk sighed and got up from the ground. "It's just...it's kind of hard to explain."

"Let me guess," Twilight said. "You're sad, because you don't want to see me and my friends leave."

"Exactly!" Dusk Shine said. "How did you know—oh, right. You're me."

Twilight giggled a bit. "I know exactly how you feel," she said. "I'm going to miss you a lot, too."

"It feels like we didn't get any real time to spend together," Dusk Shine said. "I mean, there's so much for us to talk about! I want to know everything there is about you and the mare universe! I bet the magical theories you mares have are totally different than ours!"

"I _know!_" Twilight said. "I mean, you said that Eris has been released three times, when Discord was only released twice in our world. I want to know why!"

"Rainbow Dash has been here for a week, but you've only been here for, what, two hours, tops?" Dusk said. He pawed the ground angrily. "It stinks that you're here for such a short amount of time."

"Hey, don't be upset!" Twilight said. "I'm sure we can stay in contact after I go back to my universe! I can try sending you a letter and—"

Dusk Shine's ears flattened, as he frowned. "It won't work," he said. "I spent the last three days, researching other dimensions for Rainbow. I didn't make any progress at all."

"Oh," Twilight said. "But maybe...what do you mean, no progress?"

"The most I've done is send a letter to another dimension," Dusk said. "And even then, it didn't work, because I never got any response. My letter must not have gotten through."

"Hey, that's just one failure," Twilight said. "You have to keep trying! And don't forget, I'll help, too! With both of us working together, I'm _sure_ we can get a solution!"

"That's the problem, though," Dusk said. "We _won't_ be working together. And unless we both find the same solution, all our communication will be one-sided."

Twilight leaned forward and nuzzled Dusk Shine. "We can worry about that later, okay?" she said. "Let's enjoy the party while we still can."

* * *

Dusk Shine's mood lightened a bit, but it went back down again, once the party ended and Princess Celestia announced that they were leaving.

Tears and hugs were shared, as our pony friends said their last goodbyes. As it turned out, Pinkie Pie wanted to leave the least out of the entire group. She didn't like the prospect of leaving all of her new friends behind, so she lingered more than anypony else.

"Pinkie, it's time already!" Twilight said, when she and Pinkie were the last ones left. "Are you ready to go or not?"

"Uh huh!" Pinkie said. "Let's go back—wait, no! I forgot something!"

Pinkie ran over to the yellow pegasus colt. "I'll especially miss _you_, Butterscotch!" she said.

"R-really?" Butterscotch asked.

Pinkie Pie was a silly pony at most times, but she wasn't stupid. She knew that Butterscotch had a small crush on her. And since he was basically the same as Fluttershy, Pinkie had no qualms with helping him out.

"You're the kindest colt I've ever met," Pinkie Pie said. "I hope you can find a nice marefriend someday."

She kissed him on the cheek. Butterscotch immediately turned a darker shade of red than Big Macintosh.

"Guh...gah...uh..." Butterscotch said.

"Bye!" Pinkie Pie said. She turned around and walked away.

"YAHOOOOOOOOO!" a voice shouted from behind her.

Pinkie Pie smiled to herself as she trotted out the door with Twilight.


	19. Letters

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_I asked all my friends to write you a letter about our recent experiences with the Stallion Universe. It's a fascinating place, and I'd love to do more research on it, if I could._

_I still feel that this whole mess was sort of my fault, because I performed the summoning spell which brought Rainbow Blitz here. Now we know that Discord probably had a hoof in everything, but I still feel guilty for what I did. Applejack warned me not to use a summoning spell, but I did one anyway._

_Now that I think about it, that was a difficult situation for me. I wanted to help Rainbow Dash, even if that meant going behind her back and getting her a coach. I know that going behind somepony's back is wrong, but I thought that was the best way I could help her. Rainbow needed a coach, and she's too proud to accept help._

_In the end, it turned out that I was wrong. The summoning spell was a huge mistake, it didn't help Rainbow Dash, and she passed the tryouts anyway._

_Next time, I should listen to my friends. Applejack had a really good point. Just because magic is my special talent, that doesn't mean I need to try to use magic to help in every situation. Lots of times, I can help my friends more by being there and supporting them. After all, friendship is the most powerful kind of magic there is._

_Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle_

* * *

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_Twilight says I need to write to you about what I learned from our recent adventures. But really, I didn't learn much, besides that pegasus stallions can be terrifying. I already knew that, though. It's part of the reason why I moved out of Cloudsdale._

_-Fluttershy_

* * *

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_I must confess that I had an ulterior motive for going to Stallion Universe. Yes, I wanted to help find my friend Rainbow Dash. But I also wanted to find the perfect stallion for me._

_As you know from the letter I sent you on last Hearts and Hooves Day, I have had dismal luck in the romance department. The eligible bachelors here in Ponyville keep their distance, and as for the bachelors in Canterlot...well, you know what happened with me and your nephew at the Gala._

_At first, I thought the Stallion Universe would be the answer to all of my romantic problems. But I soon found that constant overexposure to stallions was definitely a bad thing. Some of them were abrasive, many of them were uncouth, most of them didn't know how to treat a mare correctly, and all of them indulged in so-called "manly duties" (which I think is code for "disgusting habits"). Yuck!_

_ In fact, the only stallion in Stallion Universe that I harbored any sort of romantic feelings for was Elusive, and I quickly learned that he was my stallion double. And though some may think that's a silly metaphor, I find it to be inspiring. You must learn to love yourself, before you can learn to love others! That's much more important than having a coltfriend!_

_Your subject,  
Rarity_

_PS. I'm attaching a copy of CQ (Colt Quarterly) Magazine to this letter. Could you please make sure that it finds its way to Elusive? He said he wanted to see what stallion fashions are like in our world._

* * *

_Dear Prince Solaris,_

_I think meeting with the mares from Mare Universe was a good experience for me. A part of me has always wondered what my life would be like, if I was born as a mare. My body would be different, but would my mind stay the same? Would I like the same things, or would my tastes change? And most importantly, would ponies treat me differently from the way they do now?_

_After meeting Twilight Sparkle, I now know that I would be mostly the same as a mare, but the way ponies treat me would be completely different. And to be honest, I believe that is completely unfair. I don't like the way some stallions treat mares. Some mares, like my sister, are lucky enough to find a nice stallion. But a lot of mares—including some of my new friends—have met stallions who treat them horribly, just because they're mares._

_I have to admit, I don't really understand this. You wouldn't treat your friend any differently, if he was a pegasus instead of an Earth pony, right? So why would you treat your friend differently, if he was a mare instead of a colt? I think Ponyville needs to work on raising Mare Awareness._

_Your faithful student,  
Dusk Shine_

_PS. I'm trying to come up with a way to keep in contact with Twilight Sparkle. I've tried sending a few letters to her, just as a test. She may have to send a letter back to me, through you and Princess Celestia. So if you get any letters from her, could you please let me know? Thank you!_

* * *

_Dear Dusk Shine,_

_In your letter from two days ago, you mentioned sending a test letter to Twilight Sparkle, your mare self. I have just now received a letter for you, from Twilight, through Princess Celestia. Twilight says she has received the test letters you sent her._

_All three hundred and twenty-two of them._

_I appreciate your thoroughness, but that seems like an unnecessarily large amount. I would have stopped at four. Twilight Sparkle seems to share my sentiments; in her letter, she used some strong language about "crazy stallions" who cluttered her house with messages._

_A word of advice, my student? You should be extra-careful not to upset mares. Sometimes, mares can be more sensitive than colts. I'm sure your friend Elusive can teach you more about being a proper gentlecolt around mares. He can probably teach you a lot about being oversensitive, too._

_On a positive note, your transdimensional spell must be a success. When you write your next letter to Ms. Sparkle, you must tell her how to perform the spell herself. That way, the two of you can communicate directly between each other. Just don't send the instructions to her more than a dozen times, okay?_

_-Prince Solaris_

* * *

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_Going to the Stallion Universe was lots of FUN! My favorite part was meeting my twin brother Bubble Berry! He was my new best friend until I had to come back home!_

_I guess I learned how to love my friends, even when they change. I mean, I love my friends for who they are, but that doesn't mean they're suddenly not my friends if they change a little or start liking new things!_

_Although, come to think of it, changing from a mare to a stallion is really changing a LOT, not a little. I'm so glad that wasn't a problem for me or them, though. I love making new friends, even if they're really my old friends, but new!_

_In the meantime, I plan to honor my interdimensional twin by trying out some of his party ideas at my next celebrations! It's gonna be FUN!_

_Your friend,  
Pinkie Pie_

_PS. If you ever need a pony to go to the Stallion Universe again, please pick me! I'd love to go back and see my friends again!_

* * *

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_I don't want to sound like my third cousin Sour Apple, but I did not enjoy the adventures in the Stallion Universe at all. That's mainly because I learned that Rainbow Dash had secret, romantic-type meetings with my colt self! I still have a hard time believing it. I expected much better out of those two._

_I was laying into them something fierce, when Big Mac and Red Gala showed up. I thought I was angry, but they were furious. They yelled at Rainbow and Applejack so much that it made me stop and think._

_As the middle child in the family, that makes me a big sister to Applebloom. So I know what it's like to want to protect your younger sibling from bad situations. Especially romantic situations where somepony is trying to use your sister, and her heart can get broken in the crossfire. Applebloom's a bit too young for that sort of thing, thank goodness, but I can still understand wanting to keep her safe._

_But I'm also a younger sister to Big Macintosh. So I know what it's like to have an older sibling who's getting pushy about your decisions. In fact, now that I think about it, maybe Big Mac is the reason why I never saw Steven Sunbreeze again, after he took me dancing at the Harvest Festival._

_I dunno. Those thoughts just sorta popped into my mind, when I saw Red Gala yelling. So I stepped forward and asked her to lay off for a while. She already made her point. No sense in rubbing it in and making hard feelings. The other ponies were surprised to see me stick up for Applejack and Rainbow like that, but I felt it was the right thing to do._

_That's not to say I ain't mad at Rainbow. I am. But there's a difference between getting mad at a mistake your friend has made, and getting mad because you want to control their life. Sometimes, you need to respect your friend's independence, even if she's doing something you think is dumb, or doing something you think will hurt her._

_As always, the best thing to do is to sit and have a serious talk with your friend about these things, rather than getting mad and yelling at her. Fighting among friends never helps anything._

_-Applejack_

* * *

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_Since we saved Equestria by stopping Discord, could we have a national holiday in our honor? Say, during next Tuesday's math test? Everypony would love it if we didn't have school that day._

_Signed,  
The Cutie Mark Crusaders_

* * *

_Dear Prince Solaris,_

_I learned that mares are a lot of fun! I mean, I already knew that, but now I know that for sure! I like being single, but now I'm thinking that I should try to get a steady marefriend again._

_I never told anypony this before, but I think the Cakes have the perfect relationship. I wish I could find a marefriend who's right for me, just like how Mr. and Mrs. Cake are right for each other. They tell me that I need to grow up a bit and become more mature before that can happen, though. So I'm going to try super-duper-uper hard to get as mature as possible, okay?_

_Speaking of that, I guess I wasn't very mature when I got mad at Butterscotch the other day. I think I'll make him an apology cake. And maybe I'll ask if he has a sister he can introduce me to, while I'm at it._

_BYE!_

_Bubble Berry_

* * *

_Dear Prince Solaris,_

_As the Element of Honesty, I like to think that I know a lot about trustworthiness and being honest. Turns out I've still got a lot to learn._

_When Rainbow Dash told me that she was from another universe, I thought she was lying. I thought there was no way she was telling the truth, and I got mad at her for it. When it turned out she wasn't lying, I felt like the world's biggest idiot._

_I'm really ashamed of how I acted; I can't believe it was that easy for me to think the worst of my friend. I'm really lucky she forgave me so quickly. True, there wasn't any point in her holding a grudge cause we're never gonna see each other again, but still. She was nicer to me than I was to her._

_-Applejack_

* * *

_Dear Prince Solaris,_

_I must say, the past few days have been rather odd, to say the least. First Rainbow Dash appears in town, then I get suddenly transported to the Mare Universe, where the male Eris attacks me. I never expected anything like this to happen._

_I think the most important thing I learned is that most mares are completely insane. As such, I'm ending my side business of taking mares out on dates. My sanity will be—_

_What's wrong, Spines? Why do you look so sad? Oh, Spiney-Winey, I'm not saying I'll never date again, I'm just saying that I'm taking a break from mares. It's touching that you're so concerned about my love life, though. When I find a nice marefriend, I'll make sure to introduce her to you for your "approval"._

_What? What do you mean, you don't want me to find a marefriend? No, of course I'll understand, just explain to me why—_

_Oh, drat. She just ran out the door. I'll have to stop by later and ask Dusk what's wrong with Spines. Maybe I'll just send this letter through the normal post._

_Wait, has this been recording everything I've said the whole time? Augh! Now I'll have to write out a new letter!_

_-Elusive_

* * *

_To the Prince:_

_Everypony thinks that I'm the shyest pony in Ponyville, and I guess that's true. Ever since I made friends with Dusk Shine and the others, I've become more confident in myself and better at dealing with other ponies._

_However, one thing I'm still bad at is dealing with mares. They can be terrifying, especially those mares in flight camp who made fun of me all the time._

_Meeting the mares from the other universe was a big help for me. They showed me that mares are normal ponies, just like anypony else, even if they are a little different from stallions. Pinkie Pie in particular showed me that being shy doesn't mean I have to hide from mares._

_Thanks to my experiences, I think I can handle dealing with mares now. I even asked one of the spa ponies to go on a date with me this Friday! I'm nervous about what will happen, but I'm still really proud of myself for being brave enough to ask her._

_I'll let you know what happens after Friday. Um, if that's okay with you, that is._

_-Butterscotch_

* * *

_Dear Butterscotch,_

_It seems like you've learned a very big lesson. Good job! I'm sure my brother Solaris doesn't want to hear about your date on Friday, but I do! My love life has been completely empty for the past thousand years. I've tried courting a few mares since I returned from the moon, but I think they were frightened by my Royal Canterlot Courting Voice._

_Good luck, my friend! I am sure things will go well for you. And if they don't, I can always send the mare nightmares for the next few weeks. Speaking of which, over the past few months, I've noticed you have recurring nightmares about a mare named Felicia who dresses you up in a baby costume and makes you sing in front of the whole town. Is there a particular reason for this?_

_Yours sincerely,  
Prince Artemis, Ruler of the Night_

_PS. I shared your letter with Prince D'Amore Temporus. As the Prince of Love, he had many suggestions about your first date. I am sure he will share them with you._

* * *

_Dear Prince Solaris,_

_Today, I learned I should be more specific when addressing my letters that I send to the palace._

_Butterscotch_

* * *

_Dear Princess Cadance,_

_You're the Princess of Love, right? Can you please explain to me why LOVE MAKES NO SENSE WHATSOEVER? Why did I have such a huge crush on the male version of Applejack? I mean, sure, Applejack's my friend, but that doesn't explain why I liked her male twin so much. WHY?_

_Rainbow Dash_

* * *

_Dear Rainbow Dash,_

_What?_

_-Princess Cadance_

* * *

_Dear Prince Solaris and Princess Celestia,_

_I would just like to state that this entire disaster was **not** my fault._

_-Rainbow Blitz_


End file.
